A sticky widget in my social media machine.

Shhh! I'm duckin' the fuzz.
If they ask, you haven't
seen me.

Is there a way to turn off or block 'suggested friends' on FB?  Some peeps I don't add because... well, I know I would offend them accidentally and these are good people, people I like.  I'd never want to hurt them.
I borderline on NC-17.  They're more PG.  Anyone else in this predicament?  What do I do?  To block would be inappropriate and rude but not to add also feels wrong.
Are there degrees of anonymous?  How can I be me without being totally witness protection program?  (Which is a little bit of the reason for certain things but unrelated to this particular topic.  Long story.  Tell you later.)

WWMMD?  (What would Miss Manners do?)

Shit. It happens.

Funny, sad and true.

Conservatives throw mud at "bleeding-heart" Liberals but when it comes to the plight of the unborn (insert dramatic face), Conservatives wrote the book on hearts that bleed.


Grab hold of your party-line politics and take a little walk with me down a very likely what-if lane.


Even when someone is responsible, established and does everything right, accidents can still happen.

Here's a slice of real life:

Imagine a 36-year-old married woman with a 50-year-old husband, both have full-time jobs and also two part-time sources of income which are heavily taxed since it’s considered self-employment.

Let's say the husband has an 18-year-old son from a previous marriage.  He pays over $500 a month in child support and his son lives with them approximately 50% of the time.  They're fortunate to have a smart kid who starts college at a top local university in the fall.

Even with multiple sources of income and financially conservative living, they barely make ends meet.  The husband had cancer nine years ago and they had no health insurance during the duration of his treatment.  They're in debt from medical bills and now about to pay for books and tuition in addition to paying the $500+ child support for another four years.  (In many cases, non-deadbeat fathers pay for the sins of the losers and are ordered to give money to the mothers until the child is 22 or 'emancipated' meaning not attending school.)

The shitty part of this story is where people must share their intimate details with lawmakers in order to make a point.  The married couple always uses birth control.  But birth control is NOT infallible.  It can and does fail, that’s why the manufacturers must disclose such on the packaging.


Now don't tell me you expect this struggling but happily-married couple to abstain.  Come on.  Totally unrealistic.  They're in love, attracted to each other, married (this is sooo important to you, right).  Are YOU going to abstain from having sex with your spouse?  No way and if you say yes, you're a damn liar.

So what happens should birth control fail, pro-life lawmakers?  If this woman cannot terminate an accidental pregnancy, what are her options?  Carry the child to term knowing it is high risk at her age?  Here's another detail about our wife, she's physically challenged (insert your own ailment, fibro, RA, lupus...).

Can you imagine how a pregnancy will impact her, a 36-year-old disabled woman who works 60-80 hours a week and already struggling to support her family?  Do you care?  No, you care about the unborn more than you care about someone who pays taxes, already has a step-child to support and a husband who is 50 and not interested in raising another child at his age.

Tell me how that makes sense.  Tell me why you would rather allow an unwanted pregnancy to destroy her life than let her have an abortion.  Tell me why you would rather this scenario for all women.

Assuming the pregnancy itself doesn't kill both the woman and the unborn child, are YOU going to adopt these babies?  No.  You’re not.


You would rather they end up on the streets with her little accident in her arms, having to beg and borrow just to feed the child.  Please tell me how that’s better than terminating a pregnancy.


And that is IF she has a healthy baby.  But if you factor in her age and the fact that she is disabled and already under a lot of stress, there's a strong likelihood she will have a child with special needs, she may have a premature child.  There's something she needs like a kick in the teeth, more stress.


Since conservative lawmakers are none too fond of government assistance programs, this disabled 36-year-old new mother with a special needs child who has lost her part-time income because there are only 24 hours in a day and perhaps lost her husband as well because the stress tore their marriage apart (oh, what about the FAMILY conservatives so dearly love to 'preserve'), where does she go now?


No, that's not the right question.


Where does she go now with her special needs child?


That's the right question.  One job that doesn't pay the bills, a child whose expenses are higher than average because of medical needs or challenges, no husband and no assistance programs...


Homeless shelter maybe?  A relative might let her stay there for a couple of months until she can find a shitty apartment and that will be their existence.  The child will eat a lot of ramen noodles, maybe get the occasional hot lunch at school (remember, no more assistance programs, no more reduced-cost lunches for low-income children), hopefully get a decent education, provided the child is not mentally challenged...


Can the mother take her child on a vacation to see the world, experience different places and people?  Don't make me laugh, that costs money.  The woman couldn't afford to take a vacation with her husband before she got pregnant.


But, you know, public school, shitty apartment and maybe some hand-me-down books and toys will make for an enriching life.  When the mother isn't keeping her nose to the grind, trying to earn every penny she can until her body gives out and she can't work at all.  (Meanwhile she hopes her child will be able to live independently or with another sympathetic relative once the mother loses the shitty apartment - even slums cost money.)


Yes, that is SO MUCH BETTER for everyone than just terminating an unwanted pregnancy.  Right.  So much better for YOU, pro-lifer.  The struggling woman and her hungry child will sleep so much better at night knowing you're happy that she chose "life."

Note:

I am neither Republican nor Democrat.  I'm a registered Independent.

Here are a few of my independent positions:

I own guns and support the right to bear arms.

I am pro-gay.

I am pro-choice.

I am atheist and I support freedom of religion as long as there is separation of church and state.

I want lawmakers who are fiscally conservative, transparent and ethical.

I think our government has grown too large and needs to be dramatically reduced.

I support our military.

I support legalizing marijuana.

I think the welfare system needs reform, not elimination.
I vote my conscience.

I pester the ever-loving hell out of my elected officials and encourage all of you to do exactly the same.

Whine and Spirits

That's not a typo.

I've been in an uncharacteristically nettled, horrible mood recently (and a teensy bit currently but it's receding) and it was crippling, more than any physical ailment I've ever had.  Totally wore me down.  Maybe I'm over it?  I hope so.

Here's the whine...  I have a voicemail I'm actually afraid to hear.  I've never listened to it but that vile little red circled "1" won't leave the icon unless I do.  And it isn't even from a friend or a relative or business relation sort of person.  It's an I've-only-met-you-twice acquaintance.  I'm a scaredy cat; this is widely known among those who know, y'know.  LoL  That circled icon peeves me to no end and was a big mean old contributor to my bad mood.  And I don't feel like blaming myself so I would much prefer someone else fix it.  Mehhhh.

Sometimes I almost think I believe in ghosts.  I believe in the possibility of ghosts, I guess.  But actual spirits, who knows?  It's weird to see departed friends on the FB.  Remembering them makes you smile but you can't avoid saying goodbye again, every single time.

Occasionally I will forget, just for like 5 seconds, maybe less.  I will forget about goodbye and in that tiny moment they're alive again.  What is that all about?  It's so bizarre.  Is that a ghost or only a misfire of neurons and static electricity in the brain?  What if it is both?

Reason #271 Why College Is Not For Everyone

Some shizz is kind of part of your life and you wish it wasn't.  For me that's math.  Also history and occasionally pants.  Not like /that/ pants, pervs.  Like bad things always happen when we're wearing pants.  Think about it.  Didn't I explain this before?  You'll figure it out...

Maybe I'm a secret masochist but for whatever reason, I trip and fall in some boring ass 10 hour history lessons a bunch and this is how much you know it happens - Several lectures I am positive I've heard before.  My head!!!  Owwww!  I want to go forwards, not backwards.  Backwards is important, I'm aware.  But we already know how it ended.  Yawnzville.

Does misery really love company?  Let me lay some historical factage on you and see if it makes me feel better.

You know the famous saying...  "Why do today what you can put off, by chance, until next Tuesday?"

One of our great Founding Fathers, the ethical and classically handsome Richard Nixon said that during his final performance at Woodstockapalooza at the conclusion of the Spanish-Korean War.  Stockapaloo is a forested island off the coast of Luxembourg.  It is from this that we get the term 'stock market' where the Senatorial National Convention is held every two years.  Commander Nixon's signature appears on the 10 Bills of Rights.

Did you really just read all that and follow me at first but then get all like "What?  I'm pretty sure that's wrong... (opens Google in a new tab)."

#GuessWhatGradesIGotInHistory  Also, today in #FakeHistory.

Can I have a volunteer from the audience?

My head hurts too badly to sleep so I might as well do something to occupy my brain.

Let's have a discussion.

Be assured I know for a fact I can wildly disagree with someone on certain issues and still respect and like or love them.  Having a wide range of friends enriches my life.  Don't know about y'all but you should give it a try sometime if you haven't.  You might like it.

Anyway, since the gay-marriage ban happened in North Carolina today, do I have any anti-gay friends I can ask some questions?

Obviously I'm pro-gay-marriage, so I know we'd have opposing views, but I'm trying to understand the logic and I want to know how you interpret the purpose of government.

So if there are any volunteers, I would truly appreciate.  I promise to be respectful and open-minded.  I don't mean to make that sound as though I will change my mind on the issue.  That is beyond unlikely, and safe to say impossible.  But my desire to understand your POV is sincere.

You can remain anon, too.  I understand if you feel it's necessary.  However I will say that remaining anonymous if this is truly how you feel does puzzle me and I'd like to discuss that also.  FYI.

Thanks to any takers.  I look forward to it.

Princess Problems

Got to see my in-laws tonight.  They're good peeps.  My mother-in-law is a huge fan of vintage bags and even gave me one of her prized Enid Collins box bags as an engagement gift #@vda$%!aoi&? *cough* years ago.

She has a friend who owns a no-shit Rolex.  I got to hold it once.  It was like a gift from Santa I didn't even know I wanted.  It was heavy.  I felt good.  It would sparkle in a pitch black room.  I shall never forget it.

Want to hear something that will make you swoon?  The lady got it for freeeeeeeeee.  It was her 25th anniversary gift or something like that because she worked for Rolex.  I don't know if it was her first one or not.  But after that, I know for certain this is one luxury label that has earned it's stripes.  Straight up functional art.

I don't think I could ever own one, though.  Not unless I found a pre-owned one for a very good deal.  Someone in my position can't really justify blowing that kind of scratch on something my phone already does.  Plus watches present a challenge to left-handed people who write a lot and use a mouse for long periods of time of a daily basis.

Do you think I really should have been born a princess?  I do.  Working is fine and all but I truly believe in my heart that my calling isn't to be wealthy necessarily but to be surrounded 24/7 by my favorite things and learn life's lessons from other people's mistakes so I'd never have to make my own and also be able to hire people to do things I don't like... changing the litter box, laundry, waking up before noon.

If a princess wants to have cocktails for dinner with her besties even if it's a school night, she can.  Because princesses don't wake up before noon.  Hello.  Princesses are cute.  It's called beauty rest for a reasonnn.  Pay attention.  (That was for my benefit, not yours.)

Princesses can spend 3 hours putting on makeup and then go to the mall with their girlz and buy more makeup and go home and put makeup on each other and drink more cocktails and maybe play with their hair or glue sparkly things on their iPhone cases.

What they don't do is stuff that prevents them from wearing a Rolex.  Or any wrist jewelry.  How this has anything to do with seeing my in-laws tonight, I do not know.

It would just be nice if I could, for once, wear a bracelet all day long without issue.

This is the stellar
Lia Sophia Party Favor bracelet.
I'd like to wear mine complication-free.

The most frustrating part.

Mean people are awful but their meanness is actually the second most frustrating thing about encountering them.  The most frustrating thing is, for me, the inability to comprehend WHY they are mean.

It's kind of silly to call a major media outlet mean.  So many people contribute content that it really is impossible to asses whether they intend to be hurtful.  Perhaps some do but I don't think CNN would be one of them.

CNN did frustrate me today though, and it was due to a mean girl encounter sooo the two aren't ... what's the term?  Mutually exclusive?  Unrelated?  I don't know but I think you get it.

For the past several Fridays, CNN.com has posted stories about body image and perceptions of beauty.  Miss American's anorexia recovery was one of them.  There was also a story about FATshion.  My heart did a little woot woot when I read that one.

Today, I read this story by Shanon Cook who is incredulous that a man found her pregnant silhouette attractive.  She used so many fat slurs it was like someone played a tape loop of my past.  I wanted to crawl under my desk and induce puking into my trash can.

For obvious reasons, acceptance, tolerance and kindness are high on my wish list for society.  My story is not uncommon.  Because I am fat, I was brutally bullied from 6th grade until I graduated high school.  Even in adulthood I have been called names in public, humiliated and physically assaulted over my weight.  That's probably why my blogs don't have a lot of range.  They're either completely shallow fluff or they're about the things that hurt me.  Write what you know.  ^_^

Being treated like a piece of subhuman shit due to my appearance hurts me.  Wouldn't that hurt almost everyone?  So when I see news pieces, TeeVee shows, movies, pictures, etc. that are size positive or even size neutral, I do a mental cartwheel because it means that maybe history will stop repeating itself.

But then I read Shanon Cook's piece and I think it will never get better.

Here are some examples of what she said:

"And then there was the belly -- a massive dome of a thing, so immense that Lennox looked like a wee Scottish lass beside me. Jessica-Simpson-on-the-cover-of-Elle, no. Sexy, I was not."

"I didn't tell him that excitement doesn't really register when it takes a forklift and three bodybuilders to raise you out of bed in the morning."

"This dude thought I was hot. But how could he? I mean, I looked like an upright hippopotamus."

Wait, though, it gets really confusing and that added fuel to the frustration fire.

She says pregnancy allows women to not be neurotic about their size for a moment, so she enjoyed it by eating "truckloads" of candy and feeling good in spite of herself.

What?

Did I miss something?  Is she saying that only when you are pregnant can you love your body if it's big? And CNN published it?

Why?  Why can't we love our bodies always, regardless of how big or small?  And why does CNN give us an entire series about diverse beauty and body image then turn around and run another tired old fat = gross story?

Seems like every publication goes balls out when it comes to fat hate stories yet they'll print an anti-bullying story on the very next page.  What message is this?  Is it intentional?

Hate totally bums me out.  It hurts; it causes me to ask all these questions and the absolute most frustrating part is that I will never know the answer.