Hello. I am Angela, friend to Buffie and 2 other people. Buffie and I had a conversation about something very important and came to the conclusion that we are geniuses and people should listen to us. I said nobody listens to us because we don't blog. She was taking a very long break from her blog and I've never blogged about anything in my life. This seemed to stir her blog juices because she blogged that very night. Granted, she was not sober but she assures me it's best to blog when you're drunk.
I confess! I have a boyfriend. He IS stupid but he’s the good kind of stupid. That’s all I’m going to say about him.
Also, his name is whatever Buffie wants it to be. He has me French pressing my coffee AT HOME! See what I mean?! Stupid! He DID furnish me with a bean grinder, a French Press and a kettle so at least I didn't invest any of my cosmetics money. That’s REALLY all I’m going to say on the matter.
I want to share some things about Buffie because reading her blog doesn’t give you a full appreciation of the excellence that you’re dealing with here.
She is not lying when she writes in her blog that her self-esteem is high, as it should be. One way to tell if a woman has low self-esteem is by watching her interact with other women. Women with low self-esteem will immediately begin finding ways to make the women around them feel ugly or inadequate. Buffie does exactly the opposite. She tries to make everyone around her look and feel beautiful. You never have to worry that she’ll allow you to leave the house for a night out looking less than stunning. She would never criticize or even look at you funny if you were a mess but if you ask her to, she’ll make you look like a fashion model in 15 seconds time. You also never have to worry about putting on makeup or doing your hair if you don’t want to because she’ll make you FEEL beautiful even if you look like ass. She is a firm believer in accepting people the way that they are and loving them for it anyway.
Buffie also nurtures one through the booze flu and doesn’t even try to make one feel bad for puking a streak down her truck. She simply takes that opportunity to invent practical tools like the Hoark Tube®™ over breakfast the next morning with Mr. Buffie.
Buffie makes you feel sparkly even when you’re not. She sees the beauty in everyone until their UGLY gets so big, she can no longer ignore it. She is an amazing friend but a fierce enemy. I’ve seen her track bitches down after they had spent years tormenting her anonymously for no good reason other than they’re evil. She didn’t do anything to them except remove their cloak of anonymity and make their UGLY public. That was enough.
Pro Procastinator’s Tips:
Sometimes when I’m sitting around and thinking of excuses to not take care of the 500 things that need done around my house, I will suddenly yell “ACTION!” Sometimes this works because I can convince myself that in this movie, I'm playing a productive go-getter. This motivates me to act like a much better person than I am.
I also will coax myself off my ass with a British accent, “Sweetie darling, please get up and go and make some tea.” This helps me to get up and make tea.
Fun fact:
I'm so weak that I haven't been able to open a jar of pickles bare-handed in 3 years.
Peace!
