Butthurt

For the sake of discussion, let's say a federal law passed making one person in charge and that person tells us all what to do right down to the gnat's ass.  Let's call this person Supreme Leader Butthurt.

Tell me how this is good for any human in any way?  Other than you could chain us to a line in a factory and force us to produce widgets for 12 hours a day without payment.  But I'm not talking about that extreme.  I'm talking about how we believe, how we spend the money we work for, what sort of work we do, or even how we cook meals at home.

I ask this because it was implied today that those who do not bring their lunch to work every day are somehow not living a responsible/healthy/worthy life.

In fact, there was nearly a lecture about saving money and eating healthier (Supreme Leader Butthurt clearly never ate my cooking) because those who bring their lunch every day are more better at living good than those of us who don’t.

I bring my lunch when I can.  A little less in the summer because it's nice to get out of the office; good for my mental health.  (Supreme Leader Butthurt probably doesn’t ‘believe’ in mental health or the lack of it.  This is likely the kind of person who blames an individual for not thinking happy enough if they’ve got chronic depression.  Because, y’know, science and neurons and shit = not to be trusted.  Creationism, now THAT is science.)

But Supreme Leader Butthurt wants to tell us how to live.  Why?  I don’t know.  I assume I am not the only person who has encountered somebody who wants to be a supreme leader.

Again, for the sake of discussion, let's peek into a pretend life under Supreme Leader Butthurt where I go to church, I spend an hour a day exercising (SLB recommends high-impact cardio), and I keep my house, office and car spotless and organized perfectly and I have a daily routine that includes specific manners of grooming and all that other stuff, all outlined by this supreme leader.  And because Supreme Leader Butthurt says life must be lived 'family-friendly' that means I am no longer allowed to use ‘dirty language’ or look at naked bits (let alone enjoy it oh fuck no, oops, bad word, go to jail) or drink or pop pills and I must watch the local and national news every evening after dinner and then do responsible things before going to bed promptly at 10:30 pm.

Let’s say I do all that.

Now I’m a carbon copy of of the supreme leader, except still sort of inferior because I don’t have a penis.

Also, in Supreme Leader Butthurt's world, femaleness, fatness, gayness, non-Christian-ness and non-whiteness exist but it is STRONGLY FROWNED UPON and failure to assimilate = go to jail.  Women are subservient.  We’re allowed to drive, work and get an education but we live to serve our husbands and we hold no authoritative positions in the office or the home.

Gay people are required to pretend straightness.  Pretend everything, unless you naturally happen to be a white, athletic, genius white male straighter than straight perfect reliable tireless Christian.

So I'm doing all the right pretend things.  I’m living my pretend life Supreme Leader Butthurt style to the max.  Is anyone happier besides the supreme leader?  Is he truly happier?  I’m not.  Mr. Buffie won’t be.  No one else I know will have any more or less fucks to give than they already do about how I brush my teeth or whether or not I've packed a lunch.

Am I missing a point?  What’s so fucking fantastic about making everyone live to this one particular way of life?  Or is are control freaks just pompous, pious fucktards?

None of us are perfect and I’m definitely not family-friendly fun but I’m not a suicide bomber either.  I’m not an extremist, I’m not violent or dishonest, I don’t steal.  People are not afraid I will eat their children.  Most people, anyway.

The worst things Supreme Leader Butthurt can say about me are the same allegedly "bad" things anyone else can say.  I’m fat; I swear perhaps a little too much; sell semi-naked pictures of myself for money; I’m an anti-prohibitionist and I’m atheist.  Why do these things matter to anyone at all except for me?

I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.

Miss Jackson if you're nasty

If one of you wants to control my uterus, you can.  I don't mind.

I'll even pay the doctor to take it out because, by some miracle of the infant baby Jesus, I'm a piece of shit semi-liberal with a JOB.  Amazing, right?  I have my own private benefits, too.  But they don't cover uterus eviction.

You're going to have to provide your own container for it though.  I have no idea what will match your decor or if there are special storage instructions.  Remember, I'm (technically, registered Independent) semi-liberal (socially liberal, fiscally mostly-conservative) so I'm too dumb to research anything on my own or take responsibility for anything, ever.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/100616456/teratoma-tumor-specimen-jar?

Whatever works.

I did it.  I emailed the woman who spent more than two years harassing me and I cc'd her principal and associate principal.  Will she reply?  I don't know.  I don't care.  I'm just glad I stood up to her.

To all the bullied and harassed people in this world, it ain't much, but this one is for you.  Here's the letter (personal info redacted because I'm classy like that):

Hi Blank!

Long time, no talk.  Or shall I call you Anonymous?  Anonymous Name was the name on your messages but if you were trying to be anonymous, you failed pretty hard.  I've known your legal name since about an hour after I read the very first message you sent me.

I was going through some old files recently and came across harassing messages.  You know how curiosity and Google are.  Wow, I'm shocked you're a teacher now.  I see you have a degree in special education, too.  That's noble of you.  Are there any fat girls in your classes?

Did you know October is National Bullying Prevention Month?  Oh, and did you hear about that news anchor who recently spoke out against a viewer who sent her a nasty email because she's fat?  Sounds familiar, doesn't it?  I'm still surprised how much time you spent sending messages to me.  You even bought memberships to my website, another surprise considering you clearly dislike fat people.  But thanks for that.  Every dollar counts.

Do you suppose Principal Blank or Associate Principal Blank would be interested in seeing those emails because I still have them.  I'd be glad to share copies and all the other information regarding your harassment of me.  Yeah, I kept everything.  IP addresses, credit card info, your mom's name, the attempt to disguise your home address.  How is Mom Blank?  Do you still live on Blank St?

Hope you're having a great career as a teacher and more than that, for the sake of your students, I hope you've grown up.

I don't know why you chose to do what you did to me.  To my knowledge, we've never even met.  You sure tried to make my life hell for a while; and I admit, sometimes, if I was having a vulnerable moment, it hurt.  Who wouldn't be hurt, confused or even scared when they start getting taunting messages from a stranger?

Whatever your goal was, I don't know.  If it was to get me fired from my day job, that didn't work.  In fact, when I went to HR about it, showing them the research I'd done on you, they promoted me.  So, in a way, thanks for that, too.

Just curious, what was your point with all that anyway?  And why?

You've got a lot of power in your hands with an audience of young, impressionable minds in front of you every day.  Don't take it lightly.  Children deserve respect, kindness and a teacher who doesn't judge them by the size of their clothes.  They get enough hate from their peers.

Very best regards,

Buffie

I'm afraid of everything but I'm not afraid of jail.

I don't want to be one of those people who posts immature, passive aggressive drama and cheap shots on social media.  But there are mental demons sometimes and you have to exercise them, get them out.  Release them into the wild.  And if they come back, it was meant to be.  Wait, that's butterflies.

And because people can/sometimes will sue you for any ridiculous thing, you have to be specific and vague at the same time in these situations.  You must purge the evil and remember to dispose of it responsibly, like used motor oil.

Striving for perfection is so exasperatingly pointless.  It doesn't exist in humans.  I'm not perfect but in general, I try hard to be a decent member of the species.

Some people don't.  You know one, maybe more.  I definitely know a few.

And do you ever have a constant question of perspective in your head like I do?  I'm always wondering if MY perspective is fouled up or if reality really is reality.  D: All of the above.

For the most part, I believe I am seeing what's considered 'real'.  (Is that in any way a virtue or is that another discussion for another time?)

Therefore, I trust that I do know when I am seeing evil things happen.  It isn't that I think I'm seeing evil things but from another perspective it is merely harsh or careless.  Bad shit is going down according to reality, not only me.

My peeps know I have this rule.  It's a simple rule and it hasn't let me down yet.  Here it is: If you are intentionally bad to someone I love, I will hate you forever.

That is the rule.  It's black and white and one of the few things I take 100% seriously.

When the rule is broken, I don't always know it right away.  It's not The Force.  It's the rule.  There are no alien psychic waves that tell me someone is abusing a member of the protected class.  I have to be told by a trusted source or I have to observe it.

For about the past 6 years, someone has been breaking the rule.  And hating them forever has officially become insufficient.  Can I do anything about that?  Nothing I can think of.

If the opportunity ever presents itself though, shit will get real.  Maybe even jail real.  Not wise for me to say much else without falling off the tightrope of vague specifics.  If I end up with a good lawyer, I can probably have this stricken from the evidence so I can at least tell you that it would get felony real but not homicide real because I prefer no physical contact.  There?  Do I still get to keep my decent human status?

And it's true, I am afraid of pretty much everything.  You've got your typical girl fears... Bad hair, spiders, the dark.  Then there are my fears... the rest of the things.

Many of my fears would be found in a typical medium-security women's prison.  Criminals, germs, being locked in a room with a stranger, having to shower in a group.  But I'm not afraid because if that's where I end up, it would be absolutely, completely, truly and satisfyingly worth it.

As much as the rule is breaking, my heart is breaking more.

The center of the onion.

worth1000.com

I'll do this with as few words as possible because everyone is over it.

There's a layer underneath the freedom of speech/First Amendment issue.

And that is Chick-fil-A donating millions of dollars to /anti/-gay groups that lobby lawmakers.

It's one thing to stand on the side of the pool and either wish I would drown or do nothing should I start to drown.

However, the financial support of these lobbying groups (they can say they're family associations or whatever, but we all know their purpose) is like putting your foot on my head and pushing me underwater until I stop fighting or stop breathing, whichever comes first.

And THAT is my problem with ALL religion.  Eventually, it becomes a way to determine and separate classes of humans, rating some above others for no other reason than a passage in someone's chosen holy book.

It does not matter what you believe.  You can worship Regina George and the Burn Book can be your bible if you want.  You have free will.  Go ahead and do it.  If you're American, you have a constitutional right to do it.

YOUR* beliefs can not and should not arbitrarily condemn what anyone does with other consenting adults behind closed doors.

*"Your" means every single human being on earth.  Clear?

And I'm done.  Back to kittens.

A sticky widget in my social media machine.

Shhh! I'm duckin' the fuzz.
If they ask, you haven't
seen me.

Is there a way to turn off or block 'suggested friends' on FB?  Some peeps I don't add because... well, I know I would offend them accidentally and these are good people, people I like.  I'd never want to hurt them.
I borderline on NC-17.  They're more PG.  Anyone else in this predicament?  What do I do?  To block would be inappropriate and rude but not to add also feels wrong.
Are there degrees of anonymous?  How can I be me without being totally witness protection program?  (Which is a little bit of the reason for certain things but unrelated to this particular topic.  Long story.  Tell you later.)

WWMMD?  (What would Miss Manners do?)

Shit. It happens.

Funny, sad and true.

Conservatives throw mud at "bleeding-heart" Liberals but when it comes to the plight of the unborn (insert dramatic face), Conservatives wrote the book on hearts that bleed.


Grab hold of your party-line politics and take a little walk with me down a very likely what-if lane.


Even when someone is responsible, established and does everything right, accidents can still happen.

Here's a slice of real life:

Imagine a 36-year-old married woman with a 50-year-old husband, both have full-time jobs and also two part-time sources of income which are heavily taxed since it’s considered self-employment.

Let's say the husband has an 18-year-old son from a previous marriage.  He pays over $500 a month in child support and his son lives with them approximately 50% of the time.  They're fortunate to have a smart kid who starts college at a top local university in the fall.

Even with multiple sources of income and financially conservative living, they barely make ends meet.  The husband had cancer nine years ago and they had no health insurance during the duration of his treatment.  They're in debt from medical bills and now about to pay for books and tuition in addition to paying the $500+ child support for another four years.  (In many cases, non-deadbeat fathers pay for the sins of the losers and are ordered to give money to the mothers until the child is 22 or 'emancipated' meaning not attending school.)

The shitty part of this story is where people must share their intimate details with lawmakers in order to make a point.  The married couple always uses birth control.  But birth control is NOT infallible.  It can and does fail, that’s why the manufacturers must disclose such on the packaging.


Now don't tell me you expect this struggling but happily-married couple to abstain.  Come on.  Totally unrealistic.  They're in love, attracted to each other, married (this is sooo important to you, right).  Are YOU going to abstain from having sex with your spouse?  No way and if you say yes, you're a damn liar.

So what happens should birth control fail, pro-life lawmakers?  If this woman cannot terminate an accidental pregnancy, what are her options?  Carry the child to term knowing it is high risk at her age?  Here's another detail about our wife, she's physically challenged (insert your own ailment, fibro, RA, lupus...).

Can you imagine how a pregnancy will impact her, a 36-year-old disabled woman who works 60-80 hours a week and already struggling to support her family?  Do you care?  No, you care about the unborn more than you care about someone who pays taxes, already has a step-child to support and a husband who is 50 and not interested in raising another child at his age.

Tell me how that makes sense.  Tell me why you would rather allow an unwanted pregnancy to destroy her life than let her have an abortion.  Tell me why you would rather this scenario for all women.

Assuming the pregnancy itself doesn't kill both the woman and the unborn child, are YOU going to adopt these babies?  No.  You’re not.


You would rather they end up on the streets with her little accident in her arms, having to beg and borrow just to feed the child.  Please tell me how that’s better than terminating a pregnancy.


And that is IF she has a healthy baby.  But if you factor in her age and the fact that she is disabled and already under a lot of stress, there's a strong likelihood she will have a child with special needs, she may have a premature child.  There's something she needs like a kick in the teeth, more stress.


Since conservative lawmakers are none too fond of government assistance programs, this disabled 36-year-old new mother with a special needs child who has lost her part-time income because there are only 24 hours in a day and perhaps lost her husband as well because the stress tore their marriage apart (oh, what about the FAMILY conservatives so dearly love to 'preserve'), where does she go now?


No, that's not the right question.


Where does she go now with her special needs child?


That's the right question.  One job that doesn't pay the bills, a child whose expenses are higher than average because of medical needs or challenges, no husband and no assistance programs...


Homeless shelter maybe?  A relative might let her stay there for a couple of months until she can find a shitty apartment and that will be their existence.  The child will eat a lot of ramen noodles, maybe get the occasional hot lunch at school (remember, no more assistance programs, no more reduced-cost lunches for low-income children), hopefully get a decent education, provided the child is not mentally challenged...


Can the mother take her child on a vacation to see the world, experience different places and people?  Don't make me laugh, that costs money.  The woman couldn't afford to take a vacation with her husband before she got pregnant.


But, you know, public school, shitty apartment and maybe some hand-me-down books and toys will make for an enriching life.  When the mother isn't keeping her nose to the grind, trying to earn every penny she can until her body gives out and she can't work at all.  (Meanwhile she hopes her child will be able to live independently or with another sympathetic relative once the mother loses the shitty apartment - even slums cost money.)


Yes, that is SO MUCH BETTER for everyone than just terminating an unwanted pregnancy.  Right.  So much better for YOU, pro-lifer.  The struggling woman and her hungry child will sleep so much better at night knowing you're happy that she chose "life."

Note:

I am neither Republican nor Democrat.  I'm a registered Independent.

Here are a few of my independent positions:

I own guns and support the right to bear arms.

I am pro-gay.

I am pro-choice.

I am atheist and I support freedom of religion as long as there is separation of church and state.

I want lawmakers who are fiscally conservative, transparent and ethical.

I think our government has grown too large and needs to be dramatically reduced.

I support our military.

I support legalizing marijuana.

I think the welfare system needs reform, not elimination.
I vote my conscience.

I pester the ever-loving hell out of my elected officials and encourage all of you to do exactly the same.