Oh my god, oh my god you guys!

Legally Blonde - The Musical

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I'm SO there! It's coming to Kansas City in June and July and Mr. Buffie, the consummate good sport, is going to take me. Awww! 

(Don't exert yourselves giving him props just yet ladies. Because he did, however, say he refused to "suffer through" Mamma Mia a second time. Wuss.)

http://www.kcstarlight.com/broadway_...e_musical.aspx

Anyone have the pleasure of seeing this tour of Legally Blonde yet?

Unfortunately, it won't have Laura Bell Bundy as Elle, but at least it won't have that dreadful Bailey Hanks either.  (On the MTV search for Elle Woods, she was the absolute /least/ like Elle of anyone.  Catty, snide, so not cute... and that speech impediment killed me.)

If my sources are correct, there's even a possibility that Lauren Zakrin will be playing Elle during some of the Kansas City shows. Keep your fingers crossed that it's the one I see! She was my favorite from the MTV search.

Oh my god, oh my god you guys!!!! Snaps! I'm so excited!

Totally Moving My Blog from MySpace to a more "grown up" place.

Don't worry.  I'm not getting all mature or boring on ya peeps.  My extra dumb MySpace blog sometimes gets weird, so I'm moving it here.  No big whoop.

The next several posts will be old entries that I transfer here.

XOXO,

~Buffie

Buffie's Most Very Helpful Tip of the Day! Adjust Yer attitoood. 15Apr09

PMS? Irritation? World getting on your last effing nerve?

Here, I fix for you. Follow instructions:

You'll need 5 minutes.
The internet.

Mix the above ingredients with the following (whatever just do it!):

Garfield Minus Garfield. _No, I didn't stutter._

You can has LoLcat.

Cute things falling asleep. No, srsly, it's cute things falling asleep!


At end of 5 minutes, cobb, stick or head, whatever is rammed up your ass and screwing up yer attitude, it fall out. All better. Please pay at front desk.

Thank you.

Did "God" tell them personally or something? 06Apr09

The laundry was finished. Ate dinner. The dishwasher was loaded and running. Trash taken out. Surfaces wiped down. Kitty box changed. Too late to hit the grocery store. Finished the work I brought home from the office.

It's official. I literally had nothing better to do.

So I started digging around on YouTube. First looking at some ghost thing that was supposed to be funny. It wasn't. In the 'related videos' thing, I looked at something about Sylvia Browne. She's looney but is probably a lot of fun when she's drunk.

One thing led to another and next thing you know, I'm watching a video of Nut Job Shirley Phelps on a Fox show trying in vain to defend herself.

[~shudder~ I feel like I need to take a shower.]

She has to fall into one of 4 categories.

1 - Severely mentally ill (possibly due to inbreeding - have you /seen/ the Phelps family?)
2 - Massive attention whore (could be a combination of 1 and 2.)
3 - There must be some secret way they make money off this.
4 - A little bit of all of the above.

The conversation eventually turned to "sin" and how god is "punishing" the USA for accepting gay people.

She used the term "because we don't obey" a lot. Obey what? The bible? What about people who DO obey? What if they die in the war? Is that cool, too? Are they going to protest that funeral like all the others?

(For the record, Buffie does not subscribe to the Bible, but that doesn't mean I don't think about religious stuff or have curiosity. Just not my personal belief... thing.)

Now if I am going by Shirley Wacky Ass's description of sin - the following things are bad:
Being gay.
Accepting gay people.
Having gay friends.
Doing anything related to gay-ness and not hating the shit out of it.

On the other hand, according to Shirley Phucktard, the following things are NOT bad:
Protesting a funeral for a soldier who gave their life for our freedoms.
Trying to make a stranger feel like shit for being at said soldier's funeral.
Calling someone a "bimbo" (she did on Fox) or a "pervert" (she has on a crap ton of other shows).
Having snaggly disgusting hair and freaky gross horse teeth.
Excessive use of sarcasm in the name of the Lawd.
Oh... and apparently the word "ass" isn't a swear because she uses it a lot and she must think she's all perfect and junk because that bible book says people who don't sin are the ones allowed to throw rocks at other people.

Yeah.

That's what I learned. Fascinating.

Wait. It gets better.

She says her "church" isn't supposed to be popular. She says the bible says people are supposed to hate her church. To that I say - Mission Accomplished! 

Crazy cunt actually got one right. Whaddaya know?

I'm still not real sure what the goal of the Westboro Psycho Klan Church is supposed to be because no one could get the ignorant bitch to stop ranting long enough to answer a question directly. Anyone got a clue on this one? (No sarcasm or weird answers that are actually questions, please. I got enough of that from the spaz hag herself.)

Also, does anybody else suspect that Phred Phelps himself started the whole "god hates fags" thing because he is (unfortunately for gay people everywhere) in the closet and scared of being judged for being gay? Just sayin... insecurity is often the root of over-compensation.... think about it.....

There you go. That's how I spent my evening. And that's about all the time I think I can devote to something as worthless and insignificant as those Phelps douchebags in Topeka. Let's just hope they stay the hell there. Other people in Topeka, you might want to move elsewhere.... I know I would.








This is was inbred ignorant hate looks like: 

One Peep Over the Line 26Mar09

Having grown up like I did... in a family that just doesn't do organized religion... Easter doesn't mean the same thing to me as it does a lot of other people. And it isn't a judgmental statement or a bad thing, it's just what it is.

To give you an idea of Easter in the Buffie Family, my mum sent me a card this week. It's says "It's not Easter 'til there's plastic grass coming out of the cat's butt."



Get the picture? LoL

My friend was talking about Peeps yesterday. It's been soooo long since I've had Peeps. So on the way home from work last night I got some at CVS. A package of 10. Chicks. Yellow.

They were all gone before dinner today. 



Spent most of the afternoon in a nervous sweat, vibrating like a cold Chihuahua. Not pretty. I did not, surprisingly, literally climb the walls, but I think I might know why people who are high on PCP always take off their clothes, climb a building and end up on COPS. It's been a ... day. It's been a day. That's all I can really say about it because I don't remember a whole lot other than dusting yellow-dyed sugar off my boobs and licking marshmallow off my fingers.

This is your brain. This is your brain on Peeps.

My cat's got knees. 24Mar09

If you cannot count to ten, please watch this instructional video from our friends at RatherGood.com and learn.

My cat's got knees.

Guess I /could/ actually follow through - for once. 19Mar09

This is the blog I was going to post last night until I decided not to. (Why I decided not to is irrelevant.)

I was massively pissed off when I wrote it (can you tell? LOL). And even though I think it's generally a bad idea to perpetuate negativity, there are times when a girl has had just about all she can take. Saturday night was one of those times.

Do I think it will ever change? No, not really. I don't think the day will come when I can go where ever I want and never have to encounter this kind of thing again. We just don't live in that kind of world.

I do feel like I've kept my mouth shut about it so many times, that I owe it to myself to try something different. Instead of ignoring it like I usually try to do, the other day I decided to face it as head on as I can and say what I've always wanted to say, but didn't out of manners and crap.

The best policy for dealing with bullies, idiots and assholes is to ignore them. Really it is. I learned that a long time ago. To acknowledge they even exist is often more than they deserve. But you know how it is, gotta mix it up sometimes. Got to go against the status quo and scream when you should be whispering.

So here goes.

(Oh... I apologize in advance for being a downer. I'll make up for it next time and blog about wack stuff that isn't so forking serious! *SMOOCHIES*)






Dear Mizzou Losers at El Maguey on Saturday night,

Yes, I did hear you. So warning each other to “not be so loud about it” was just about the most pointless thing you could have done. And considering the source, that’s saying volumes because you all probably lead lives that are defined by pointlessness.

Fat people, contrary to what you may think (if you’re even capable of thought) are not always deaf. In fact, some of us hear exceptionally well. Especially when a table full of drunken fuckups out on the town and without dates (not surprising) is loudly expressing distaste at the sight of a large woman trying to enjoy a nice meal with her husband and her father.

Be thankful, useless losers, that my dad didn’t hear you. I am thankful for that myself because I would hate to see him go to jail for beating you the way you likely will be someday when you’re in prison. Be thankful, buttfuckers, that my husband didn’t hear you, because he can inflict nastiness on a vehicle that no army of mechanics could un-do. Be thankful none of you are worth their time.

Perhaps I sound like a scorned person blowing off steam from the comfort of the internet. In some ways, I am. But keep in mind that _I_ am not the one who talked shit on _you_ then hid behind menus and snickered like a bunch of ill-mannered 8 year-olds. I am not the one who can’t act right in the company of others. I am not the one who makes my parents ashamed of me. I am not the one who is an embarrassment to be seen with in public.

I’m talking major shit on you right now and owning every last bit of it. Not anonymously, not trying to hide it, not attempting to disguise myself in any way. Brave enough to respond? Please do. I am actually interested to know why you hate fat people. 

Did a fat person do something to you personally in your past and you’re too ignorant to know that it isn’t necessary to hate all fat people due to the actions of one individual? If that’s the case, did their fatness somehow play a part in the way they allegedly wronged you? I fucking dare you to answer that question fully and completely. Prove me wrong. Show me that you can articulate an answer. Demonstrate that you can justify your actions. Go for it. My email is BigCutieBuffie@yahoo.com. Leave a comment on my blog if you want. I’ll post it for everyone to see. Or do I have bigger balls than you?

Do you hate fat people just because you’re too backwoods stumpwater college puke drunk immature and stupid to think for yourself and because Hollywood says thin is in, you can’t see beyond it? You don’t have the energy or the impetus to have an open mind or independent beliefs? Are you too lazy to formulate your own opinions? Enquiring minds sincerely want to know.

Know why I’m above you? Let me spell it out – I hate you almost as much as you hate me. The difference is – I didn’t hate you until you gave me a reason. You hated me just because you had nothing better to do and a mind too small to do anything about it. The other difference is, I am telling you why I hate you. Had I not been concerned about the legal ramifications for my husband and my dad defending me, I would have told you right then and there what I’m telling you now. However my love for my family comes leaps, bounds and miles before my desire to try and straighten out backwards-thinking ignorant bastards like you.

Next time you pull some hateful shit like that on a stranger in public, I hope it isn’t someone with as much will power as me. I hope you mess with a fat person who is angry, armed and unstable; and I hope they unleash a wrath on you that even your next door neighbor will never forget. I also hope that I am never in the same county as you pathetic turds, but if I am, I do hope you’re still as dumb as you are now and I hope I get to witness the lot of you receiving much deserved bruises, busted lips, black eyes and bloody noses.

Try dressing better or growing up and maybe you won’t be having date-less dinners with your worthless friends so much.

May you all succumb to STDs and intestinal parasites.

Truly,
Buffie

PS... I don't know if you pukes really attend school at Mizzou or not, but several of you were wearing Mizzou shirts. So if you don't really go there, then you're totally regoddamnedtarded for spending money on the clothes. LaLaLaLame!