Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Mr. Buffie Doesn't Do. 26Feb09
Our friends like to tease Mr. Buffie about his penchant for being particular. When it comes to food, music, cars, clothes, computers, anything. You name it, he can name something about it he doesn't like.
So I started making a list of things Mr. Buffie Doesn't Do.
Here we go.
Mr. Buffie doesn't do:
Raw green vegetables.
Prince music.
Fords.
America's Next Top Model.
Dogs.
Sauces containing vinegar.
Domestic beer.
Madonna.
Thunderbirds.
Fancy trucks.
Onions.
Led Zeppelin.
Pet rodents.
Wool.
Flip flops.
Turtlenecks.
Whole milk.
Taco Bueno.
Cold weather.
Starbucks.
Calvin Klein fragrances.
Bratwurst.
So I started making a list of things Mr. Buffie Doesn't Do.
Here we go.
Mr. Buffie doesn't do:
Raw green vegetables.
Prince music.
Fords.
America's Next Top Model.
Dogs.
Sauces containing vinegar.
Domestic beer.
Madonna.
Thunderbirds.
Fancy trucks.
Onions.
Led Zeppelin.
Pet rodents.
Wool.
Flip flops.
Turtlenecks.
Whole milk.
Taco Bueno.
Cold weather.
Starbucks.
Calvin Klein fragrances.
Bratwurst.
Dave Matthews' voice.
Ape-hanger handlebars.
Small boobs.
Folding laundry.
Modern interior design.
Garlic.
Tuners.
Microsoft products.
Negotiating for "car lengths" on Pinks.
Fringed jackets.
Facial piercings.
Text messages.
Economy cars.
Memphis style BBQ.
Celine Dion.
Lolcats.
Cold sandwiches.
Cigarettes.
Abstract art.
Diets.
Hi-top sneakers.
Wood working.
Chocolate chips in his ice cream.
Yoga.
Punk music.
Diet cola.
Pickles.
Sports on TV.
Make up tutorials on YouTube.
Any kind of pr0n with a 'core'.
Card games.
Sushi.
Supreme pizza.
Instant messaging.
Port wines.
Jeopardy.
Honky Tonk songs.
Incense.
Sleeping in.
Shiatsu.
Gardening.
Pie ala mode.
Spin Magazine.
Alfredo sauce.
Cole slaw.
Persian cats.
Shrimp scampi.
Anything on the Oxygen channel.
80's era Corvettes.
Wax museums.
Gangsta rap.
Church.
Broccoli and cheese soup.
Running.
Video games.
Finches.
Chip dip.
The Bee Gees.
Foreign films.
Salad dressing.
Cake with ice cream.
Line dancing.
Bleu cheese.
Baseball cards.
Bagpipes.
Horseback riding.
French cuisine.
Refrigerated peanut butter.
Pimp My Ride.
Anime.
Bow hunting.
Religious films.
Pointy toe shoes.
Pinkie rings.
European Techno music.
Science fiction novels.
Body building.
Turkey burgers.
Brticoms.
Chevelles.
Competitive ice skating.
Math.
Electric cars.
Zealots.
Rob Thomas as a solo artist.
and
Cigars.
The end.
Ape-hanger handlebars.
Small boobs.
Folding laundry.
Modern interior design.
Garlic.
Tuners.
Microsoft products.
Negotiating for "car lengths" on Pinks.
Fringed jackets.
Facial piercings.
Text messages.
Economy cars.
Memphis style BBQ.
Celine Dion.
Lolcats.
Cold sandwiches.
Cigarettes.
Abstract art.
Diets.
Hi-top sneakers.
Wood working.
Chocolate chips in his ice cream.
Yoga.
Punk music.
Diet cola.
Pickles.
Sports on TV.
Make up tutorials on YouTube.
Any kind of pr0n with a 'core'.
Card games.
Sushi.
Supreme pizza.
Instant messaging.
Port wines.
Jeopardy.
Honky Tonk songs.
Incense.
Sleeping in.
Shiatsu.
Gardening.
Pie ala mode.
Spin Magazine.
Alfredo sauce.
Cole slaw.
Persian cats.
Shrimp scampi.
Anything on the Oxygen channel.
80's era Corvettes.
Wax museums.
Gangsta rap.
Church.
Broccoli and cheese soup.
Running.
Video games.
Finches.
Chip dip.
The Bee Gees.
Foreign films.
Salad dressing.
Cake with ice cream.
Line dancing.
Bleu cheese.
Baseball cards.
Bagpipes.
Horseback riding.
French cuisine.
Refrigerated peanut butter.
Pimp My Ride.
Anime.
Bow hunting.
Religious films.
Pointy toe shoes.
Pinkie rings.
European Techno music.
Science fiction novels.
Body building.
Turkey burgers.
Brticoms.
Chevelles.
Competitive ice skating.
Math.
Electric cars.
Zealots.
Rob Thomas as a solo artist.
and
Cigars.
The end.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Original Sin - How it /rilly/ happened. 14Feb09
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Thursday, February 12, 2009
Buffie Wastes a Minute of Your Time. 12Feb09
I warned you.
(Thank you Conan O'Brien and your friend Frankenstein, for the neato idea!)
That's all I'm saying about that.
No secret that I dig junk TV, right? We all know this, yes? Ohkay. Oddly enough, even I have television standards.
Who gives a shit about the Kardashians, really? /Really./ ...
Also, what is going on lately with the tabloid shows and Jessica Simpson's "weight" or Mischa Barton's lack thereof? Which one is it, Hollywood? You have to make a decision on what sizes are acceptable because you're fucking annoying everyone.
Earlier tonight, Charo was in a sound deep kitty cat sleep on Mr. Buffie's lap. Whimsey was sitting next to me on the ottoman, enjoying having her chin scratched. Since she was being a nice kitty and also because Charo is bad at taking turns, I decided to try and sneak Whims a little kitty nip.
Veeeeery q u i e t l y I opened the lid. Silently shook some out for Whimsey. Tried to put the lid back on making less noise than a mouse going pee pee on a pillow, but Charo's ears *instantly* turned right to me. I was busted so fast.
You can't sneak up on a cat. And if you do, it's just dumb luck. Even a kitty so fast asleep that the electronica channel on the sat rad won't make her twitch a whisker knows the sound of the catnip tub being opened and closed.
=)
And now Buffie has wasted a moment of your time.
(Thank you Conan O'Brien and your friend Frankenstein, for the neato idea!)
That's all I'm saying about that.
No secret that I dig junk TV, right? We all know this, yes? Ohkay. Oddly enough, even I have television standards.
Who gives a shit about the Kardashians, really? /Really./ ...
Also, what is going on lately with the tabloid shows and Jessica Simpson's "weight" or Mischa Barton's lack thereof? Which one is it, Hollywood? You have to make a decision on what sizes are acceptable because you're fucking annoying everyone.
Earlier tonight, Charo was in a sound deep kitty cat sleep on Mr. Buffie's lap. Whimsey was sitting next to me on the ottoman, enjoying having her chin scratched. Since she was being a nice kitty and also because Charo is bad at taking turns, I decided to try and sneak Whims a little kitty nip.
Veeeeery q u i e t l y I opened the lid. Silently shook some out for Whimsey. Tried to put the lid back on making less noise than a mouse going pee pee on a pillow, but Charo's ears *instantly* turned right to me. I was busted so fast.
You can't sneak up on a cat. And if you do, it's just dumb luck. Even a kitty so fast asleep that the electronica channel on the sat rad won't make her twitch a whisker knows the sound of the catnip tub being opened and closed.
=)
And now Buffie has wasted a moment of your time.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Buffie's Useless Tip of the Day! 29Jan09
Shells and cheese do not re-heat. You get just one chance. Only one shot with shells and cheese... so make it count.
That's kind of a metaphor for life, eh? Wow, I'm so like philosophical and junk....
x_X
... Dude, Mr. Buffie fell asleep watching Adult Swim on the cartoon channel, which is kinda unusual for him because as far as I know, we still get the Speed channel. Anyway, there's some stop-motion animation show on and it is... different. I know I haven't smoked any pot, but now that I'm watching this show, I'm not entirely sure.
They just showed the Incredible Hulk peeing in Wonder Woman's kitchen sink.
W
T
F
?
That's kind of a metaphor for life, eh? Wow, I'm so like philosophical and junk....
x_X
... Dude, Mr. Buffie fell asleep watching Adult Swim on the cartoon channel, which is kinda unusual for him because as far as I know, we still get the Speed channel. Anyway, there's some stop-motion animation show on and it is... different. I know I haven't smoked any pot, but now that I'm watching this show, I'm not entirely sure.
They just showed the Incredible Hulk peeing in Wonder Woman's kitchen sink.
W
T
F
?
Monday, January 26, 2009
So we all caught fat flu? Fox doesn't even try to hide the fact that they're haters. 26Jan09
Excuse me while I preach to the choir...
Found this while perusing Fox News online. (I literally had nothing better to do.)
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,482788,00.html
Apparently getting fat IS contagious. Wait til the size-phobes and Mike Huckabee get a hold of this. We'll all be quarantined and forced to eat nothing but steamed soy beans and bran flakes until we're "cured" of our infectious fattedness.
And on the same page is this story… http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,483204,00.html
Jessica Simpson gained 3 ounces!!!! A sure sign of the apocalypse!
Maybe she caught the fat flu?
I realize this is Fox News… not exactly the height of reputable reporting right? But there are people who read this stuff and think it’s Gospel. Even people who write and propose legislation. It’s dangerous when a major media outlet hypes something like fat being contagious.
Am I a scientist? No. Not even in my fake life. But you'd be better off trying to convince me the world is flat than trying to make me believe one iota of this story. Not buying it, not even as a possibility.
Bet you a dollar if we follow the funding behind this "research institute", we’ll find Slim-Fast or some other diet giant behind it.
http://www.opensecrets.org/lobby/cli...esearch+Center
Ah, well... look at that.
Nice try, Jenny Crank and NutriShitstem cronies. At least you took a shot at fear mongering from a different angle. Clever. Very clever.
BTW, Fox what did fat people do to piss you guys off today? Did you accidentally hire someone from Glamour Magazine for your news staff or something? Wackos.
Found this while perusing Fox News online. (I literally had nothing better to do.)
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,482788,00.html
Apparently getting fat IS contagious. Wait til the size-phobes and Mike Huckabee get a hold of this. We'll all be quarantined and forced to eat nothing but steamed soy beans and bran flakes until we're "cured" of our infectious fattedness.
And on the same page is this story… http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,483204,00.html
Jessica Simpson gained 3 ounces!!!! A sure sign of the apocalypse!
Maybe she caught the fat flu?
I realize this is Fox News… not exactly the height of reputable reporting right? But there are people who read this stuff and think it’s Gospel. Even people who write and propose legislation. It’s dangerous when a major media outlet hypes something like fat being contagious.
Am I a scientist? No. Not even in my fake life. But you'd be better off trying to convince me the world is flat than trying to make me believe one iota of this story. Not buying it, not even as a possibility.
Bet you a dollar if we follow the funding behind this "research institute", we’ll find Slim-Fast or some other diet giant behind it.
http://www.opensecrets.org/lobby/cli...esearch+Center
Ah, well... look at that.
Nice try, Jenny Crank and NutriShitstem cronies. At least you took a shot at fear mongering from a different angle. Clever. Very clever.
BTW, Fox what did fat people do to piss you guys off today? Did you accidentally hire someone from Glamour Magazine for your news staff or something? Wackos.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Holy gawd, I did it again! 25Jan09
You'd think burning your boob with a curling iron is something you only have to do one time before you figure out it's smart to wear a more than a bra when doing your hair.
/You'd think..../
Apparently I'm not that smart.
Friday, I did it again! Dropped a hot curling iron on my boob! Different side this time. Left a mark. Hurts... awesome. Not.
To make myself feel better, I looked at the interwebs. Randomly found a crazy hot pic of Jason Wade, with whom I have a semi-unhealthy fixation. Dreamiest guy since Simon LeBon, amen he is.
I might be able to post it here. Let me see if I have any special blog skillz... (I can't remember how I posted the pic last time. LOLz)
He's even holding a puppy. Epic Swoon. -----sigh-----
^_^
^_^
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