I complain a lot, it's an area where I'm naturally gifted.
But... in spite of my fussing, I'm totally blessed with luck. Always have been. Mostly, I've been very extremely way lucky to have known some far out badasses.
First, my mums and daddy. They are still married. Incredible she hasn't killed him yet! LOL Love you both, even when you work my nerves. They taught me everything I know about the importance of having a good soul.
My Mr. Buffie. He's the most awesome person I've ever known. He even laughs at my jokes and pretends I'm clever. Plus he's fun to cuddle and we like a bunch of the same stuff. He knows about junk I will never understand, but he is patient and tries to 'splain it to me anyway.
My dear girlie friends. Misse, Lisa, KatMak, Regina, Randi, Rachel, Heather, Gwen, AnnMarie, all the Big Cuties! You chicks have no idea how much you inspire me. I draw so much strength from y'all. When I have days where I feel like the world is shitting on me, I think about how often you've all made me smile or giggle or done something outrageous and things are suddenly not awful.
My Kevin. You're delightfully hateful. From the day we met some 10 or 11 years ago (damn we're old), we were best friends. I miss you and it's really hard to be so far away from you. Mexican Mondays are not right without you. Chuckwagon and I often find ourselves playing the WWKS game. What Would Kevin Say? "What I'm lookin fo' is a Lexus." "You got a batroom in yo betroom? Where you gonna eat yo cer-real?" My neighbors are probably STILL talking bout 'that girl who lives on the corner who cheats on her husband every Monday'.
Beau, I miss you so much. I can't go the rest of my life and never see you again. You were the brother I never had and the friend I needed most in this world and shame on me for not realizing that sometimes. You always told me the truth, even when I refused to hear it. Thank you.
Bec and Branita, you're still my home-town girls and I look forward to going home in hopes I'll see ya both. Two of the most 'real' chicks ever. EVER!
The Mixxx. Freaks. All of you. Freaks and weirdos and perverts! I can't believe I spent all that time with you people. I can't believe we drank so much. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Why the hell didn't we have better things to do? Dammit! =) Good times. I wish I still had a pager, I'd 143 4-Ever to ya'll!
To ALL the awesome women in my world... thanks for making me feel like I can do anything, absolutely anything. Thank you for giving me the guts to live out loud and without apology.
Super Sloppy Kisses to The Unit, Steph, and CC Banana! Hee hee hee!!!
Many many many many hugs to those of you I don't know very well. I appreciate the notes you send me every day and all the kindness you so freely give. It's a wonderful feeling to read all your sweet words. Thank you a million times!
Big Candy Valentie Hearts to all of you! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
I soooo DO NOT -heart- Huckabee! 09Jan08
Huckabee scares me.
1 - Don't like his name. Don't know why, but I hate his name. It doesn't sound like a real name. It sounds like some shitty restaurant chain.
2 - Don't like anyone with any sort of "anti" agenda where people's appearance is concerned. He has an anti-fat agenda. (See: BMI listed on kid's grade cards in Arkansas.) I would still hate him if he had an anti-short agenda or an anti-big feet agenda. Americans are permitted to look however they want. If he's president, does that mean I'll have to hide in the house all the time, lest I'm caught and arrested for public fatted-ness? Why does no one seem to mention he had WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY to get thinner? Yeah, Fuckerbee, it's an easy ride when you have a doctor slice up your guts so you can't eat. Not everyone has that option. Not everyone WANTS that option. Some of us are just fine the way we currently live. Leave those kids alone! Geezus.
3 - He doesn't drink. Who, from Arkansas, doesn't drink? Who wants to be around a stone cold sober Arkansasanianan? Not me. Sounds like he's trying to deny his Arky roots. I don't like fakers.
4 - He has what is known as "crazy white boy stare". It's a common condition among all stupid people, actually... not just crazy white boys. Usually occurs when they're asked a question they don't understand or can't answer. Caused when the 3 active brain cells jam up with the 19 inactive ones.
5 - Wants to over-turn Roe v. Wade. Probably wants to deny women the right to vote and drive, too... FUCK THAT NOISE. Would I personally ever have an abortion? Probably not. Depends on the circumstances. But, who am I to say someone else shouldn't have the option??? Am I going to adopt their unwanted baby? Nope. So I had better leave them alone and stay out of their business. Is Fuckerbee and his sober dowdy wife going to adopt these babies and let them eat off the $10,000 china and crystal place settings in the AR Gov'ners mansion? Doubt it! Highly doubt it. Where does that fucktard get off wanting to deny a woman a choice? We can't stop hos from being hos and we can't stop rapists from being rapists and we can't stop dangerous pregnancies from happening, so let's just leave the choice up to the INDIVIDUAL... unless we're going to stand in line and personally be accountable for these children we've forced into the world... That's all I'm sayin.
6 - Is opposed to stem-cell research. Yes... let's all die skinny and sober, in church, while trying to feed masses of unwanted babies with $10,000 china.
7 - Opposes the right for gay couples to marry. Too bad we can't figure out if an embryo is gay or not... because then he would probably allow gay abortion, just so there aren't as many homos running around, trying to get married and shit. Such a shame my gay friends actually have things to do and money to spend, otherwise I'd get a gang of them together to come kick his ass.
8 - Isn't down with separation of church and state. Wants to bring his Christian faith to work with him. Um... 'scuse me, but I know a WHOLE BUNCH of Americans who might not be cool with that. Let's see... Jewish people. Buddhist people. Hindu people. Agnostic or atheist people. Muslim people. Just to name a few...
Gag me gag me gag me GAG ME! His website is awful! Just overflowing with bile and spew and garbage! This man is an IDIOT. No, seriously, he's not bright and he's not bright enough to know he's not bright. He thinks he's fine and dandy.
Huckabee = Yucky Pee.
1 - Don't like his name. Don't know why, but I hate his name. It doesn't sound like a real name. It sounds like some shitty restaurant chain.
2 - Don't like anyone with any sort of "anti" agenda where people's appearance is concerned. He has an anti-fat agenda. (See: BMI listed on kid's grade cards in Arkansas.) I would still hate him if he had an anti-short agenda or an anti-big feet agenda. Americans are permitted to look however they want. If he's president, does that mean I'll have to hide in the house all the time, lest I'm caught and arrested for public fatted-ness? Why does no one seem to mention he had WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY to get thinner? Yeah, Fuckerbee, it's an easy ride when you have a doctor slice up your guts so you can't eat. Not everyone has that option. Not everyone WANTS that option. Some of us are just fine the way we currently live. Leave those kids alone! Geezus.
3 - He doesn't drink. Who, from Arkansas, doesn't drink? Who wants to be around a stone cold sober Arkansasanianan? Not me. Sounds like he's trying to deny his Arky roots. I don't like fakers.
4 - He has what is known as "crazy white boy stare". It's a common condition among all stupid people, actually... not just crazy white boys. Usually occurs when they're asked a question they don't understand or can't answer. Caused when the 3 active brain cells jam up with the 19 inactive ones.
5 - Wants to over-turn Roe v. Wade. Probably wants to deny women the right to vote and drive, too... FUCK THAT NOISE. Would I personally ever have an abortion? Probably not. Depends on the circumstances. But, who am I to say someone else shouldn't have the option??? Am I going to adopt their unwanted baby? Nope. So I had better leave them alone and stay out of their business. Is Fuckerbee and his sober dowdy wife going to adopt these babies and let them eat off the $10,000 china and crystal place settings in the AR Gov'ners mansion? Doubt it! Highly doubt it. Where does that fucktard get off wanting to deny a woman a choice? We can't stop hos from being hos and we can't stop rapists from being rapists and we can't stop dangerous pregnancies from happening, so let's just leave the choice up to the INDIVIDUAL... unless we're going to stand in line and personally be accountable for these children we've forced into the world... That's all I'm sayin.
6 - Is opposed to stem-cell research. Yes... let's all die skinny and sober, in church, while trying to feed masses of unwanted babies with $10,000 china.
7 - Opposes the right for gay couples to marry. Too bad we can't figure out if an embryo is gay or not... because then he would probably allow gay abortion, just so there aren't as many homos running around, trying to get married and shit. Such a shame my gay friends actually have things to do and money to spend, otherwise I'd get a gang of them together to come kick his ass.
8 - Isn't down with separation of church and state. Wants to bring his Christian faith to work with him. Um... 'scuse me, but I know a WHOLE BUNCH of Americans who might not be cool with that. Let's see... Jewish people. Buddhist people. Hindu people. Agnostic or atheist people. Muslim people. Just to name a few...
Gag me gag me gag me GAG ME! His website is awful! Just overflowing with bile and spew and garbage! This man is an IDIOT. No, seriously, he's not bright and he's not bright enough to know he's not bright. He thinks he's fine and dandy.
Huckabee = Yucky Pee.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Bowflex Guy is a dickweed. 18Dec07
Have you seen that Bowflex commercial? No, not that one. The one with the pug-faced smug guy who talks about his wife "giving him that little wink"...
That guy... if that's how he acts in person... geezus. Hi. Buy a Bowflex and you can be an asshole just like me!
He says "I gave all my fat clothes to my fat friends" all high-and-mighty like. WHATEVER. Dude, if that's how you really are, I *strongly* doubt you have ANY friends, fat, thin or otherwise.
Sheesh. Who was the marketing genius behind THAT ad?
Hellllooooo, gym and diet and work-out advertising people, if you want folks to buy your products and shit... like, I dunno... say fat people... If you want fat people to spend their hard earned cash on your junk, perhaps start out by NOT insulting them in your commercials? Just a suggestion. Y'all seem to do that a lot.
Hey you. You suck. Come spend money on my shit or else I'll spit in your eye and call your momma names!
Mmmhmmm, that's the way to win folks over. You Madison Avenue people clearly have it alllll figured out.
Gah!
(I know... another fat-rant. Hey, write what you know. That's the saying, yes? Besides, it's more fun than crying to everyone about how I don't have an MTV award or having a cow about Brangelina's baby-buying spree.)
But... speaking of celebrities. It's another time of year when I fear drunk drivers more than usual. In case you didn't know, I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE drunk drivers. I hate even more the drunk drivers who have easy access to alternatives, such as taxis, buses or sober friends but don't make good use of them.
Then there are celebrity drunk drivers. ALL OF YOU DESERVE TO BE IN JAIL.
Paris, Britney, Lindsey, that Kardashian sister and all their privileged friends not only have TONS of money for cab fare or a limo, they have enough money to HIRE A CHAUFFER permanently. Celebrities don't have to drive ANYWHERE if they don't want to and they sure as fuck don't "have" to drive drunk or high or loaded on Valium.
I don't give a shit about your Bently, your pocket-size great dane, your Jimmy Choos or your Fendi bag. Those things don't make you a nice person or a smart person and money can't buy you a good soul. You're spoiled ignorant hookers and any one of you should spend a day in my life or the life of one of my friends and see what it's like to work a long effing day, get paid in peanuts, drive home in a car with mis-matched tires or squeaking belts, have to clean your own kitchen, check your own mail or wipe your own ass. OH... and NOT drive while under the influence. Gee... if we mere simple peasants can do it, why can't you?
Driving drunk is lame and dangerous and if you live in Kansas City and you can't pull your head out of your butt long enough to figure out a way to drink WITHOUT getting behind the wheel, use Grab A Cab from EAP. Unlike me, these people take pity on your stupid ass and they will reimburse your cab fare for doing the right thing by NOT driving yourself home. Ask your employer if your company participates in EAP.
Since I'm not a total Scrooge (well, mostly but not completely) I would like to say - HAPPY Holidays!
Please be safe and beware of morons in SUVs. I care about y'all and want you to enjoy your festivities!
Eat lots of good stuff, give your friends and family TONS of hugs, volunteer for something close to your heart and stay warm!
Jingle!
~Buffie
That guy... if that's how he acts in person... geezus. Hi. Buy a Bowflex and you can be an asshole just like me!
He says "I gave all my fat clothes to my fat friends" all high-and-mighty like. WHATEVER. Dude, if that's how you really are, I *strongly* doubt you have ANY friends, fat, thin or otherwise.
Sheesh. Who was the marketing genius behind THAT ad?
Hellllooooo, gym and diet and work-out advertising people, if you want folks to buy your products and shit... like, I dunno... say fat people... If you want fat people to spend their hard earned cash on your junk, perhaps start out by NOT insulting them in your commercials? Just a suggestion. Y'all seem to do that a lot.
Hey you. You suck. Come spend money on my shit or else I'll spit in your eye and call your momma names!
Mmmhmmm, that's the way to win folks over. You Madison Avenue people clearly have it alllll figured out.
Gah!
(I know... another fat-rant. Hey, write what you know. That's the saying, yes? Besides, it's more fun than crying to everyone about how I don't have an MTV award or having a cow about Brangelina's baby-buying spree.)
But... speaking of celebrities. It's another time of year when I fear drunk drivers more than usual. In case you didn't know, I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE drunk drivers. I hate even more the drunk drivers who have easy access to alternatives, such as taxis, buses or sober friends but don't make good use of them.
Then there are celebrity drunk drivers. ALL OF YOU DESERVE TO BE IN JAIL.
Paris, Britney, Lindsey, that Kardashian sister and all their privileged friends not only have TONS of money for cab fare or a limo, they have enough money to HIRE A CHAUFFER permanently. Celebrities don't have to drive ANYWHERE if they don't want to and they sure as fuck don't "have" to drive drunk or high or loaded on Valium.
I don't give a shit about your Bently, your pocket-size great dane, your Jimmy Choos or your Fendi bag. Those things don't make you a nice person or a smart person and money can't buy you a good soul. You're spoiled ignorant hookers and any one of you should spend a day in my life or the life of one of my friends and see what it's like to work a long effing day, get paid in peanuts, drive home in a car with mis-matched tires or squeaking belts, have to clean your own kitchen, check your own mail or wipe your own ass. OH... and NOT drive while under the influence. Gee... if we mere simple peasants can do it, why can't you?
Driving drunk is lame and dangerous and if you live in Kansas City and you can't pull your head out of your butt long enough to figure out a way to drink WITHOUT getting behind the wheel, use Grab A Cab from EAP. Unlike me, these people take pity on your stupid ass and they will reimburse your cab fare for doing the right thing by NOT driving yourself home. Ask your employer if your company participates in EAP.
Since I'm not a total Scrooge (well, mostly but not completely) I would like to say - HAPPY Holidays!
Please be safe and beware of morons in SUVs. I care about y'all and want you to enjoy your festivities!
Eat lots of good stuff, give your friends and family TONS of hugs, volunteer for something close to your heart and stay warm!
Jingle!
~Buffie
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
The Curse 04Dec07
2007 has NOT been kind to Buffie.
I started the year with the mysterious loss of a toenail. (Alright, it wasn't that mysterious. I tripped over a shoe sneaking to the potty in the middle of the night and broke it, but didn't know it until the next day.)
Then... I got SARS followed by bird flu, then monkey pox. That's how it felt anyway. Turns out it was just a vicious case of bronchitis and I was starting to develop pneumonia. Thankfully my immune system woke itself up and fought back before I totally succumbed to the nasties.
THEN... I drop a HOT curling iron down my shirt. Burned the fucking hell out of my left booby. How much did that suck? You have no idea.
It gets better... a couple days after the curling iron scar starts to heal, I break a toe! I effing BROKE my toe. WTF! It was exactly how people say, too. You think you have stubbed it really bad, but then you look down and it's pointing the wrong way and the horror sets in about the same time the pain does. Geezus. Mr. Buffie picked up my foot, very carefully examined my toe and without warning he grabbed it and pulled it straight. Pretty sure the neighbors 3 blocks away heard me squeal. That was some wicked pain. The days after were fascinating, watching it turn so many shades of purple, green, blue, red and yellow. Fascinating and disgusting. Walking was OK, but there were no heels in my wardrobe for weeks. Blah! It's also true what they say that you can't do anything for a broken toe. I called my doc and she said if it was straight, the best she could do would be to tape it to my other toes and send me on my way... Hells bells, I could do that myself.
Then I got sick again... this time it was a different strain of 3rd world disease all coming together in my sinuses to make me wish I were dead. Completely unfair.
Sold my Jaguar. Made me sad for a while because that was the fucking sweetest ride I'll ever have. Nigel was a kickass car. However, Nigel was starting to make a strange noise. We could never figure out what it was. Strange noises in British cars mean cubic dollars spent on parts and labor only for a new strange noise to develop two months later. Time to go back to American automobiles. Got me a damn fine Z28 and named him Billy Idol. But what do I discover after having him for a month? There's a DEAD SPIDER -INSIDE- my instrument panel. Did you know the front glass on the instrument panel cannot be removed? It can't. Not without removing the entire dash. Yes, the whole goddamned enchilada. There's a dead motherfucking spider stuck right under my oil pressure gauge. GGGGGRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Had an abscess in my lower jaw in June. Not my idea of a good time. Had some x-rays done and the dentist thought it was just some freak thing we would 'keep an eye on' but felt like antibiotics would do the trick. They did... but it hurt like hell in the meantime. Blah!
Found a great house... moved in July. JULY. July in Missouri is like being in an oven with a pot of water. Humid, hot and no damn wind at all. Moving in July is punishment for crimes I must have committed in a former life because this is the 3rd time I've done it.
Developed a nice case of chronic hives in August. Doc can't figure it out. Allergist can't figure it out. Holistic healer guru can't figure it out. They all strongly suspect I'm allergic to the shrimps. No one loves the shrimps more than I love the shrimps. But now I cannot eat the shrimps. I think the shrimps did this to me. It was shrimp revenge. They feared I would eat them ALL. Here's a warning to you shrimps! If I ever find out the cause of my red itchy welts, and it ISN'T a seafood allergy, you better run and hide because I'll be on you like a Buffie on shrimps! HA!
Moving right along... things at work are in a constant state of chaos. My boss, who was the most awesome individual ever and the best boss I will ever have in my life, quit unexpectedly. I stand behind her decision, but I'm so very sad. Things are just wrong around there without her. Completely wrong. She is missed every day.
Went in for my dreaded annual mammogram. Having one's boobs smashed mercilessly in a torture device invented by Satan himself is something a woman shouldn't have to endure EVER, but because God is clearly a man and secretly hates us all, we get to do this crap on a yearly basis! Just like a birthday, only shitty! Yay! What happens next? The radiologist thinks there's something in one of my films, so I get to go back a few weeks later and have it done AGAIN! Oh the joy! The happiness! What a thrill! What was it? Turned out to be nothing. I'm glad for that, don't misunderstand me... but since I had an extra one this year, can I skip it next year? Please?
In case my feet haven't been through enough this year, I break ANOTHER TOE recently. Yes, another one!!! Same foot, different toe. What is WRONG with me? This time it was in broad daylight and I tripped over a chair. Maybe my boobs blocked me from seeing it or else I have inner-ear balance issues, but I totally snagged myself on a chair. I'm special.
To top it all off, last week, dental surgery. No, I'm not kidding! Molar extraction! Came out of no where!!! I was having some pain in a tooth where I had undergone a root canal about a year before... same one that abscessed in June. We know why it abscessed now... root was cracked so the root canal never fully healed at all. 2007 has clamied a Buffie toe nail AND a Buffie tooth. That's fucked up.
2008, you can't get here soon enough! Please hurry!!! I'm scared I'll wake up missing a nostril or something awful like that.
Oh... 2007... fuck you!
I started the year with the mysterious loss of a toenail. (Alright, it wasn't that mysterious. I tripped over a shoe sneaking to the potty in the middle of the night and broke it, but didn't know it until the next day.)
Then... I got SARS followed by bird flu, then monkey pox. That's how it felt anyway. Turns out it was just a vicious case of bronchitis and I was starting to develop pneumonia. Thankfully my immune system woke itself up and fought back before I totally succumbed to the nasties.
THEN... I drop a HOT curling iron down my shirt. Burned the fucking hell out of my left booby. How much did that suck? You have no idea.
It gets better... a couple days after the curling iron scar starts to heal, I break a toe! I effing BROKE my toe. WTF! It was exactly how people say, too. You think you have stubbed it really bad, but then you look down and it's pointing the wrong way and the horror sets in about the same time the pain does. Geezus. Mr. Buffie picked up my foot, very carefully examined my toe and without warning he grabbed it and pulled it straight. Pretty sure the neighbors 3 blocks away heard me squeal. That was some wicked pain. The days after were fascinating, watching it turn so many shades of purple, green, blue, red and yellow. Fascinating and disgusting. Walking was OK, but there were no heels in my wardrobe for weeks. Blah! It's also true what they say that you can't do anything for a broken toe. I called my doc and she said if it was straight, the best she could do would be to tape it to my other toes and send me on my way... Hells bells, I could do that myself.
Then I got sick again... this time it was a different strain of 3rd world disease all coming together in my sinuses to make me wish I were dead. Completely unfair.
Sold my Jaguar. Made me sad for a while because that was the fucking sweetest ride I'll ever have. Nigel was a kickass car. However, Nigel was starting to make a strange noise. We could never figure out what it was. Strange noises in British cars mean cubic dollars spent on parts and labor only for a new strange noise to develop two months later. Time to go back to American automobiles. Got me a damn fine Z28 and named him Billy Idol. But what do I discover after having him for a month? There's a DEAD SPIDER -INSIDE- my instrument panel. Did you know the front glass on the instrument panel cannot be removed? It can't. Not without removing the entire dash. Yes, the whole goddamned enchilada. There's a dead motherfucking spider stuck right under my oil pressure gauge. GGGGGRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Had an abscess in my lower jaw in June. Not my idea of a good time. Had some x-rays done and the dentist thought it was just some freak thing we would 'keep an eye on' but felt like antibiotics would do the trick. They did... but it hurt like hell in the meantime. Blah!
Found a great house... moved in July. JULY. July in Missouri is like being in an oven with a pot of water. Humid, hot and no damn wind at all. Moving in July is punishment for crimes I must have committed in a former life because this is the 3rd time I've done it.
Developed a nice case of chronic hives in August. Doc can't figure it out. Allergist can't figure it out. Holistic healer guru can't figure it out. They all strongly suspect I'm allergic to the shrimps. No one loves the shrimps more than I love the shrimps. But now I cannot eat the shrimps. I think the shrimps did this to me. It was shrimp revenge. They feared I would eat them ALL. Here's a warning to you shrimps! If I ever find out the cause of my red itchy welts, and it ISN'T a seafood allergy, you better run and hide because I'll be on you like a Buffie on shrimps! HA!
Moving right along... things at work are in a constant state of chaos. My boss, who was the most awesome individual ever and the best boss I will ever have in my life, quit unexpectedly. I stand behind her decision, but I'm so very sad. Things are just wrong around there without her. Completely wrong. She is missed every day.
Went in for my dreaded annual mammogram. Having one's boobs smashed mercilessly in a torture device invented by Satan himself is something a woman shouldn't have to endure EVER, but because God is clearly a man and secretly hates us all, we get to do this crap on a yearly basis! Just like a birthday, only shitty! Yay! What happens next? The radiologist thinks there's something in one of my films, so I get to go back a few weeks later and have it done AGAIN! Oh the joy! The happiness! What a thrill! What was it? Turned out to be nothing. I'm glad for that, don't misunderstand me... but since I had an extra one this year, can I skip it next year? Please?
In case my feet haven't been through enough this year, I break ANOTHER TOE recently. Yes, another one!!! Same foot, different toe. What is WRONG with me? This time it was in broad daylight and I tripped over a chair. Maybe my boobs blocked me from seeing it or else I have inner-ear balance issues, but I totally snagged myself on a chair. I'm special.
To top it all off, last week, dental surgery. No, I'm not kidding! Molar extraction! Came out of no where!!! I was having some pain in a tooth where I had undergone a root canal about a year before... same one that abscessed in June. We know why it abscessed now... root was cracked so the root canal never fully healed at all. 2007 has clamied a Buffie toe nail AND a Buffie tooth. That's fucked up.
2008, you can't get here soon enough! Please hurry!!! I'm scared I'll wake up missing a nostril or something awful like that.
Oh... 2007... fuck you!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Mr. Buffie Says... 14Nov07
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
~gigglesgigglesgiggles~
Advice for the day...
Watch David Lynch films at your own risk. It's two hours of your life you will NOT get back.
~gigglesgigglesgiggles~
Advice for the day...
Watch David Lynch films at your own risk. It's two hours of your life you will NOT get back.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Caught in the act. 13Nov07
I'm busted. Watching junk TV again. This time it was Life in the Fab Lane with Kimora Lee Simmons.
At first, I wanted to like it because she's like a big Barbie doll. You want to brush her hair and borrow her earrings.
But NO. I don't like it and it kinda bums me out. She's grumpy. I mean really grumpy. And she's scary. Cute girls are not supposed to act like that. They're supposed to be fun and nice and silly. She has rare fits of silly which are swiftly and often interrupted by bad trips down Crabby Nag Diva lane.
She makes crazy demands on this real-estate guy who spends most of his time on camera looking terrified of her. If there were a little 'thought bubble' over his head, it would say something like "Please lady, don't twist it /completely/ off." Poor schmo.
She yells a lot and complains complains complains complains. When did it become vogue to have luxury cars, mansions, expansive closets dripping in designer labels and act like life is just soooooooooooooo impossibly hard. Oh boo hoo. The plight of the celebrities! It's heartbreaking!
She's a mom. Uh huh. So are about a jilliondy other women on this planet. Having reproduced isn't license to push around friends and associates. What was up with being like 5 hours late for a photo shoot? People who do that sort of thing in the regular joe world get fired. Having a buttload of money and nice swag doesn't make a person too good to act respectfully, responsibly, or patient and tolerant of other people. Is it just the way the show is editied? Maybe she is super polite and stuff but they just show her joking around and you don't know she's kidding? Could that be it?
I don't know, either way, I don't want to watch it any more because it's a total buzzkill and watching junk TV isn't supposed to be a downer.
And don't get me wrong. I like celebrities as much as anyone else. Their movies and TV shows and magazine fodder are a nice distraction from 'real life'. But it's WAY more of a good time to see celebrities having a blast than it is to watch them moan and groan and fuss. If I wan't to see a shitty attitude, I'll go spend a day with some sullen teenagers.
Now *I'm* the one who's complaining! Oh no! See? See what you've done, Kimora??? It's a vicious circle! Must ... break ... away!
My little kitty was talking (meowing) in her sleep just now. Precious! So precious! It's also squeaky cute when she yawns in the middle of a meow. It comes out meyawwwwwn! Charo likes to talk on the phone with Misse and Gwen. I think she talked to Lisa, too. And she talks to my mum. She sees me on the phone and she will say "MAOW!" Charo doesn't mee-oww. She MAOWs. It's L O U D too. MAOW! One time, Mr. Buffie and I looked for cat videos and sounds on YouTube because we were trying to find cats that sounded like Whimsey (little scratchy oww) and Charo (MAOW). The closest we got was a Siamese who said MEAOW! Whimsey's voice is pretty unique. It's a very quiet and sweet sounding oww. The irony being that Whimsey is the mess-you-up-like-knife-warrior cat and Charo is the snuggle-you-all-over cat.
=)
I'm rambling. =) again.
At first, I wanted to like it because she's like a big Barbie doll. You want to brush her hair and borrow her earrings.
But NO. I don't like it and it kinda bums me out. She's grumpy. I mean really grumpy. And she's scary. Cute girls are not supposed to act like that. They're supposed to be fun and nice and silly. She has rare fits of silly which are swiftly and often interrupted by bad trips down Crabby Nag Diva lane.
She makes crazy demands on this real-estate guy who spends most of his time on camera looking terrified of her. If there were a little 'thought bubble' over his head, it would say something like "Please lady, don't twist it /completely/ off." Poor schmo.
She yells a lot and complains complains complains complains. When did it become vogue to have luxury cars, mansions, expansive closets dripping in designer labels and act like life is just soooooooooooooo impossibly hard. Oh boo hoo. The plight of the celebrities! It's heartbreaking!
She's a mom. Uh huh. So are about a jilliondy other women on this planet. Having reproduced isn't license to push around friends and associates. What was up with being like 5 hours late for a photo shoot? People who do that sort of thing in the regular joe world get fired. Having a buttload of money and nice swag doesn't make a person too good to act respectfully, responsibly, or patient and tolerant of other people. Is it just the way the show is editied? Maybe she is super polite and stuff but they just show her joking around and you don't know she's kidding? Could that be it?
I don't know, either way, I don't want to watch it any more because it's a total buzzkill and watching junk TV isn't supposed to be a downer.
And don't get me wrong. I like celebrities as much as anyone else. Their movies and TV shows and magazine fodder are a nice distraction from 'real life'. But it's WAY more of a good time to see celebrities having a blast than it is to watch them moan and groan and fuss. If I wan't to see a shitty attitude, I'll go spend a day with some sullen teenagers.
Now *I'm* the one who's complaining! Oh no! See? See what you've done, Kimora??? It's a vicious circle! Must ... break ... away!
My little kitty was talking (meowing) in her sleep just now. Precious! So precious! It's also squeaky cute when she yawns in the middle of a meow. It comes out meyawwwwwn! Charo likes to talk on the phone with Misse and Gwen. I think she talked to Lisa, too. And she talks to my mum. She sees me on the phone and she will say "MAOW!" Charo doesn't mee-oww. She MAOWs. It's L O U D too. MAOW! One time, Mr. Buffie and I looked for cat videos and sounds on YouTube because we were trying to find cats that sounded like Whimsey (little scratchy oww) and Charo (MAOW). The closest we got was a Siamese who said MEAOW! Whimsey's voice is pretty unique. It's a very quiet and sweet sounding oww. The irony being that Whimsey is the mess-you-up-like-knife-warrior cat and Charo is the snuggle-you-all-over cat.
=)
I'm rambling. =) again.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Back from Boston 04Nov07
It's been a week since I've been back from Boston. Mostly I have thought about my friends and food. ... and the fact that traffic is not THAT nuts in Kansas City.
Got to see my dearest Lisa! That rocked so hard core! ~waves to Lisa~ So happy to see her and have sushi with her and laugh about wacky shit and I can't wait to do it again!!! She still rocks red lips like no one I've ever seen before.
Also spent a lot of time with Gwen!!! All fabulous, all the time, yes a rockstar all the way! Her latest Malice in Wonderland photos are evidence of that. Miss Olivia, complete bombdiggity doll with the sweetest smile! Sassy, all that and more and then some and more. Nicole, always a sugar and what a killer rack!
And of course, the Big Cuties. My wonderful BC sisters! It's like being in the best soroity ever created! Except we don't live together and stuff. But still, we're all members of a very kickass group of hot chicks.
It was such a great trip! I'm glad to be home, but I miss y'all! Pout Pout Pout. I miss the FOOOOOOOD. Ohmigawd, the food.
Thursday was fish and chips and coleslaw and broiled swordfish and butternut squash from the Sea Witch. Mmmmmm, so delicious. Dinner was liquor and Dunkin Donuts. How excellent is that?! YEAH! Mr. Buffie proclaimed it Best Fish n Chips EVER. I agree.
Friday was roast beef, onion rings, Gwen's cheese n bacon fried and a fish sandwich from Kelly's. Excellent, but the service was shitty. For dinner was Samba teppanyaki at Samba in Framingham. I think the tiny Asian wait-staff was a little worried by the hungry and proud of it group of groovy BBWs and the men who adore us. We ate the house. Heather, thank you so much for the invite. It was fantastic! We had sushi, followed by steak, vegetables, rice, curry sauce and not nearly enough of it. I could have eaten more. Yummm!
Saturday we enjoyed good old pizza and beer.
Sunday came too soon and it was time to go, but we made a last minute cruise through Salem (a total madhouse, people EVERYWHERE yuck) but found a very creepy cool old cemetary and walked around there for a while. Hee hee hee! Perfect thing to do! Saw a mob pay off at Bill n Bob's Roast Beef. Way better than Kelly's roast beef, way better service too (if not a teensy bit hard to understand, the accent! Awesome)! Killer french fries, too. Enjoyed dinner at the airport. How often do you hear people say that? LOL We did enjoy it though. There's a Legal Seafood at Logan! Mr. Buffie had gumbo. Strange choice on the east coast, but it wasn't half bad. I enjoyed a grilled to perfection tuna steak with steamed broccoli and mashed new potatoes. Heavenly. Had a mojito for desert.
Even on the plane home I had my Midwest hot chocolate chip cookies. I was worried they had discontinued to practice since I was denied cookies on the flight up. A fricking GRANOLA BAR was given to me instead. Hrmph. I need not your granola, Midwest. I pay extra for your fucking cookies goddammit. You have extra wide leather seats. That means you welcome my chunky butt. You want my chunky money, you give me cookies. See how that works? Not on one flight but on EVERY flight. You promised! You know weeks in advance I'll be there. Just meet me at the gate with cookies and ginger ale. I order the same thing every time, geez. Don't you keep track? You skip my cookies and someone's going to have a bloody nose, understand me?
All in all, what a great way to spend a fall break! Halloween in Boston is like Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Too much fun! Oh the costume contest! I forgot to talk about that. Truth is, I don't remember much of it because I was most tipsy! LOL But judging from the pictures, it was a good time. Hee hee hee. Will post some on my profile pics. =)
The only bummer was not having Misse there to enjoy it, too. She's such a dedicated student though I understand why she takes school so seriously. That's why she rules!
Hugs to all my girlie friends! Mmmmmmuaaahhhh!
Got to see my dearest Lisa! That rocked so hard core! ~waves to Lisa~ So happy to see her and have sushi with her and laugh about wacky shit and I can't wait to do it again!!! She still rocks red lips like no one I've ever seen before.
Also spent a lot of time with Gwen!!! All fabulous, all the time, yes a rockstar all the way! Her latest Malice in Wonderland photos are evidence of that. Miss Olivia, complete bombdiggity doll with the sweetest smile! Sassy, all that and more and then some and more. Nicole, always a sugar and what a killer rack!
And of course, the Big Cuties. My wonderful BC sisters! It's like being in the best soroity ever created! Except we don't live together and stuff. But still, we're all members of a very kickass group of hot chicks.
It was such a great trip! I'm glad to be home, but I miss y'all! Pout Pout Pout. I miss the FOOOOOOOD. Ohmigawd, the food.
Thursday was fish and chips and coleslaw and broiled swordfish and butternut squash from the Sea Witch. Mmmmmm, so delicious. Dinner was liquor and Dunkin Donuts. How excellent is that?! YEAH! Mr. Buffie proclaimed it Best Fish n Chips EVER. I agree.
Friday was roast beef, onion rings, Gwen's cheese n bacon fried and a fish sandwich from Kelly's. Excellent, but the service was shitty. For dinner was Samba teppanyaki at Samba in Framingham. I think the tiny Asian wait-staff was a little worried by the hungry and proud of it group of groovy BBWs and the men who adore us. We ate the house. Heather, thank you so much for the invite. It was fantastic! We had sushi, followed by steak, vegetables, rice, curry sauce and not nearly enough of it. I could have eaten more. Yummm!
Saturday we enjoyed good old pizza and beer.
Sunday came too soon and it was time to go, but we made a last minute cruise through Salem (a total madhouse, people EVERYWHERE yuck) but found a very creepy cool old cemetary and walked around there for a while. Hee hee hee! Perfect thing to do! Saw a mob pay off at Bill n Bob's Roast Beef. Way better than Kelly's roast beef, way better service too (if not a teensy bit hard to understand, the accent! Awesome)! Killer french fries, too. Enjoyed dinner at the airport. How often do you hear people say that? LOL We did enjoy it though. There's a Legal Seafood at Logan! Mr. Buffie had gumbo. Strange choice on the east coast, but it wasn't half bad. I enjoyed a grilled to perfection tuna steak with steamed broccoli and mashed new potatoes. Heavenly. Had a mojito for desert.
Even on the plane home I had my Midwest hot chocolate chip cookies. I was worried they had discontinued to practice since I was denied cookies on the flight up. A fricking GRANOLA BAR was given to me instead. Hrmph. I need not your granola, Midwest. I pay extra for your fucking cookies goddammit. You have extra wide leather seats. That means you welcome my chunky butt. You want my chunky money, you give me cookies. See how that works? Not on one flight but on EVERY flight. You promised! You know weeks in advance I'll be there. Just meet me at the gate with cookies and ginger ale. I order the same thing every time, geez. Don't you keep track? You skip my cookies and someone's going to have a bloody nose, understand me?
All in all, what a great way to spend a fall break! Halloween in Boston is like Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Too much fun! Oh the costume contest! I forgot to talk about that. Truth is, I don't remember much of it because I was most tipsy! LOL But judging from the pictures, it was a good time. Hee hee hee. Will post some on my profile pics. =)
The only bummer was not having Misse there to enjoy it, too. She's such a dedicated student though I understand why she takes school so seriously. That's why she rules!
Hugs to all my girlie friends! Mmmmmmuaaahhhh!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)