I don't want to be one of those people who posts immature, passive aggressive drama and cheap shots on social media. But there are mental demons sometimes and you have to exercise them, get them out. Release them into the wild. And if they come back, it was meant to be. Wait, that's butterflies.
And because people can/sometimes will sue you for any ridiculous thing, you have to be specific and vague at the same time in these situations. You must purge the evil and remember to dispose of it responsibly, like used motor oil.
Striving for perfection is so exasperatingly pointless. It doesn't exist in humans. I'm not perfect but in general, I try hard to be a decent member of the species.
Some people don't. You know one, maybe more. I definitely know a few.
And do you ever have a constant question of perspective in your head like I do? I'm always wondering if MY perspective is fouled up or if reality really is reality. D: All of the above.
For the most part, I believe I am seeing what's considered 'real'. (Is that in any way a virtue or is that another discussion for another time?)
Therefore, I trust that I do know when I am seeing evil things happen. It isn't that I think I'm seeing evil things but from another perspective it is merely harsh or careless. Bad shit is going down according to reality, not only me.
My peeps know I have this rule. It's a simple rule and it hasn't let me down yet. Here it is: If you are intentionally bad to someone I love, I will hate you forever.
That is the rule. It's black and white and one of the few things I take 100% seriously.
When the rule is broken, I don't always know it right away. It's not The Force. It's the rule. There are no alien psychic waves that tell me someone is abusing a member of the protected class. I have to be told by a trusted source or I have to observe it.
For about the past 6 years, someone has been breaking the rule. And hating them forever has officially become insufficient. Can I do anything about that? Nothing I can think of.
If the opportunity ever presents itself though, shit will get real. Maybe even jail real. Not wise for me to say much else without falling off the tightrope of vague specifics. If I end up with a good lawyer, I can probably have this stricken from the evidence so I can at least tell you that it would get felony real but not homicide real because I prefer no physical contact. There? Do I still get to keep my decent human status?
And it's true, I am afraid of pretty much everything. You've got your typical girl fears... Bad hair, spiders, the dark. Then there are my fears... the rest of the things.
Many of my fears would be found in a typical medium-security women's prison. Criminals, germs, being locked in a room with a stranger, having to shower in a group. But I'm not afraid because if that's where I end up, it would be absolutely, completely, truly and satisfyingly worth it.
As much as the rule is breaking, my heart is breaking more.
