Let me disclaim. Which really isn't fair because I don't want to seem like I'm avoiding ownership of my opinion. That isn't the case. I am personally accountable for what I say, whether it's popular or not. But I don't want to come across as more snotty than I really am.
Truth be told, I'm not that stuck up. Only a little bit. Not so stuck up that I don't have friends. Maybe it isn't even actual stuckuppedness.
Off topic, I'm getting way off topic. Let's just say I am no more or less judgmental than the next person. Difference being that unlike a few, I admit it and I try to be objective and not think "oh I'm perfect and everyone else has problems".
I am not perfect and I don't ever try to be perfect. I am only myself. To add though, I am very very very most completely thankful that I am NOT a zombie and knock on wood, I hope to never become a zombie some day.
About these zombies.
I think that maybe they don't know they're zombies. I get the impression that the zombies think they're awake or alive. They're numb and unaware of the fact that the conscious people observe them drifting among us, thinking they're found but being dead lost.
Tonight I saw a zombie walking through the grocery. She had two or three young zombies with her, all aimlessly meandering throughout the aisles without a care as to staying on the proper path. In your way, in mine, no matter.
The zombies don't even know we are there. To see us is to acknowledge they're not the undead. Trip over them if you want. Sometimes you can't help but do that. Zombies are often unavoidable and cause you to stumble over them. Don't worry. They don't mind. They don't even realize they've had an encounter with you. Some of them may say "oops", "excuse me", or "sorry", but don't mistake this for anything but a zombie reflex. They're born with the ability to mimic certain traits shared by the living, but none of the things they do are borne out of conscious decision making.
In the parking lot, one of the living was hauling a long, heavy, bulky row of shopping carts back into the lobby. The zombies and their zombie children came floating out of the store, pushing their zombie carts full of zombie food, never once stopping to notice that when they walk 5 abreast, the poor cognizant human, huffing and puffing to shove the train of carts, has to perform Marvel comic like maneuvers to avoid crushing one of the lost zombie offspring.
But what can we, the living, the knowing, the aware, what can we do? The problem is so much bigger than we are.
Try as we do, what with anti-zombie legislation to keep them off cell phones when they're driving, or printing big bold warnings on things to prevent zombies from accidentally harming themselves... nothing ever helps. They still go to McDonald's and dump hot coffee in their laps. Unfortunately, injury usually jolts a zombie into sudden life and for reasons unknown to god and science, newly alive zombies tend to file lawsuits against the living.
Now about this disclaimer... I am pro-equality in very many ways. I think people should be treated fairly no matter what they look like, no matter who they sleep with (consenting adults only plz), no matter their spiritual trappings, no matter their socioeconomic status, blah blah blah.
But... where zombies are concerned. Well... I think I have to draw the line. I mean, I wouldn't have a problem with zombies having the right to vote, but since zombies ALREADY have the right to vote and they keep picking OTHER zombies to run things, this is obviously not helping any of us. The economy is in the shitter and frankly, almost all the mistakes can be linked directly to zombies and their zombie behavior.
Same thing about zombie marriage. I wouldn't mind if they had the right to marry other zombies OR other members of the living world. In fact, like voting, zombies already DO enjoy that freedom and you know what they're doing with it? Making MORE zombies. Data has shown that the zombie gene, ironically enough, is dominant over the gene for consciousness. So even if a zombie marries and reproduces with a non-zombie, the result will still be a zombie.
Zombies cause over 99% of traffic fatalities. The National Highway Study Committee of Very Smart People compiled reports of traffic accidents involving zombies for the last 20 years and the results were rock solid. Most zombie behavior is found to be dangerous when performed while driving. In fact, zombie behavior in and of itself is in direct opposition to the act of operating a motor vehicle. Almost every thing a zombie does, such as living with one's zombie head rammed clean up one's zombie ass, is impossible to do behind the wheel in a safe and responsible fashion.
Does this make me sound like some sort of Hitler? I hope not. Please don't misunderstand, I am NOT proposing any sort of zombie genocide, because that is clearly wrong. Zombies shouldn't be killed just for being zombies. They're dead already anyway... kinda. Pfft. Not really. I mean they're not /living/ but they're not /dead/ either. Technically, they're the "undead". So y'know, can you really kill a zombie? Besides, with their rate of reproduction, there's still no way to effectively and humanely control the zombie population.
Like cockroaches, we just have to deal with them. Although cockroaches actually serve a purpose. I'm trying to think if zombies have a purpose... Hrm...
Well, zombies do purchase zombie products which creates jobs for those who work in the zombie product manufacturing industry. Zombies also spend money on celebrity worship, fad diets, and craptacular made-just-for-money movie sequels, so I guess that's some sort of financial stimulation, although it seems to me a bit like a self-maintaining fire that doesn't do anything else but burn itself. Sort of pointless. Not exactly *my* idea of a 'purpose', but since we're talking zombies, I can't really use my personal standards by which to measure them. That's unfair to zombies.
In closing, I would like to say that world peace would be super. In order to achieve this, we're going to have to stop letting zombies make rules and we're also going to have to do something about the evil zombies, because there are a few.
But good luck with that last part, because it isn't like I have an actual plan or anything. I just felt like bitching about zombies. They annoy me.
The end.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
If you don’t talk to your husband about Crocs, who will? 12Oct08
I didn't even know. There were no warning signs. No indications he would ever go there.
But after witnessing him in this state for two days in a row, I'm just beside myself.
I didn't even know there was a reason to worry. I thought it was common sense. Don't put your hand in boiling water. Don't walk in front of a speeding train. Don't cover your ass in honey and sit on a fire ant hill.
There was a time, not that long ago, he even teased a guy at work who wore them. Like me, he would see them and say "damn those things are ugly". Why would I ever have reason to suspect?
It began with a suggestion from some of the people at the gym. His feet were getting torn up by the textured bottom of the pool during volleyball, and many of the seniors wear Crocs to protect their feet from the same thing. They suggested he get a pair.
Begrudgingly, he got some this week. He was so turned off to the idea that he wouldn't even try them on at the store.
We brought them home and they sat untouched until Thusday. He eventually tried them on and proclaimed that he finally understood the hype.
"These are really comfortable!" -- The words every wife hopes she will never, ever hear.
He hasn't even looked at his other shoes since then.
And if that's not enough to turn my world upside down.
He's now decided he likes cowboy hats.
WTF people. Is this what happens if a guy has a mid-life crisis but he already owns a sports car and a much younger wife? He goes fashional-ly insane?
We're not talking rock and roll cowboy hat ala 1999/2000. This is a Stetson in a nice muted shade of taupe. The kind of hat a cowboy would wear to a fancy restaurant in his clean boots and best pressed jeans. It's all perfect and I guess it's made out of beaver which is disgusting.
So help me. So help us all. So help him and the hair on his chinny-chin-chin if I catch him in the Stetson and the Crocs at the same time.
Let this be a lesson to you all.
If you don't talk to your husband about Crocs...... who will?
Friday, October 3, 2008
Do you really know what you think you know? 03Oct08
I have fake boobs.
I have never lied about it. Never tried to deny it. Never been ashamed of it. Didn't con anyone to pay for them. Didn't hate myself before I had them. Didn't get them to fix a relationship or please another person.
I have fake boobs.
That's all. It's the same as saying I have long hair.
But for reasons unknown to me, there are some people who seem to think that my having fake boobs means a plethora of other things, such as:
I am shallow.
(Granted, I'm not "serious", but that doesn't equal shallow. I have depth, I just don't wallow around in a humor-less fog all the time.)
I am a gold-digger.
(If I'm a gold-digger, I'm damn bad at it. Mr. Buffie isn't exactly Trump and I work a full time job and two part time jobs and I'm a penny pinching nut when it comes to bills and crap.)
I am a slut.
(I don't even have a response for this. OMG, just ridiculous.)
I have a poor self-image.
(Pushaw! As if. LOL My ego is mostly checked, but I definitely don't look in the mirror and cry. Heck yes I think I'm cute! And what? What?)
I am desperate.
(Again, where to start with this. I don't get it. What do boobs have to do with desperation? I need a clue here.)
I am deceptive.
(Judging from the many TMI awards lining my mental shelves, I would have to say I /should/ try being a little deceptive, instead of sharing my business with the world. Maybe then I wouldn't get in so much trouble sometimes? But that's not my style. Sorry. I like to share far too much to be considered deceptive by any stretch of the definition.)
I am fake generally, inside and out.
(Again, I'm prone to goofy, fruit loopy mood swings but that's 100% Buffie - Not from concentrate. - Serious doesn't equal sincere any more than lack of seriousness equals fakeness.)
If I may speak freely for a moment.
The fact that some people have openly (thankfully not here) made these accusations about me because my boobs are silly-cone is ---
--- SUCH A CROCK OF BULLSHIT!!!!!
I don't know why this is bothering me because I have no reason to give a shit about a stranger's opinion, but I am soooo over it. And I'm over seeing other girls with fake boobs go through the same GARBAGE.
Here's the truth.
I have fake boobs.
Trust me, it really doesn't go any futher than that. There's no need to ASSUME you instantly know a dozen other things about a person based on ONE trait.
How often are assumptions really accurate?
Over time, we have learned that:
Making a negative assumption about a person's character based on their skin color is rarely accurate and there's really no correlation between skin color and behavior.
Making an assumption about a person's character because they're a member of a particular political affiliation is rarely accurate and there is diversity among the membership of almost any political party or group of people.
Making an assumption about anything based on only one piece of data is scientifically unsound and leaves the assume-er wide open to looking like a fucktard for popping off about what they *think* they know as opposed to what is fact.
I realize I am preaching to the choir. However I'm just not in the mood to argue this point with the people who believe I'm a slutty, shallow, gold-digging, lying bitch just because my boobs are purchased.
Therefore, to make things easy on myself, I thought I would just open a debate in a place where I am most likely to receive instant agreement with my perspective. LOL
I'm so clever and smart. It's because I have the fake boobies, y'know... ~winkies~
I have never lied about it. Never tried to deny it. Never been ashamed of it. Didn't con anyone to pay for them. Didn't hate myself before I had them. Didn't get them to fix a relationship or please another person.
I have fake boobs.
That's all. It's the same as saying I have long hair.
But for reasons unknown to me, there are some people who seem to think that my having fake boobs means a plethora of other things, such as:
I am shallow.
(Granted, I'm not "serious", but that doesn't equal shallow. I have depth, I just don't wallow around in a humor-less fog all the time.)
I am a gold-digger.
(If I'm a gold-digger, I'm damn bad at it. Mr. Buffie isn't exactly Trump and I work a full time job and two part time jobs and I'm a penny pinching nut when it comes to bills and crap.)
I am a slut.
(I don't even have a response for this. OMG, just ridiculous.)
I have a poor self-image.
(Pushaw! As if. LOL My ego is mostly checked, but I definitely don't look in the mirror and cry. Heck yes I think I'm cute! And what? What?)
I am desperate.
(Again, where to start with this. I don't get it. What do boobs have to do with desperation? I need a clue here.)
I am deceptive.
(Judging from the many TMI awards lining my mental shelves, I would have to say I /should/ try being a little deceptive, instead of sharing my business with the world. Maybe then I wouldn't get in so much trouble sometimes? But that's not my style. Sorry. I like to share far too much to be considered deceptive by any stretch of the definition.)
I am fake generally, inside and out.
(Again, I'm prone to goofy, fruit loopy mood swings but that's 100% Buffie - Not from concentrate. - Serious doesn't equal sincere any more than lack of seriousness equals fakeness.)
If I may speak freely for a moment.
The fact that some people have openly (thankfully not here) made these accusations about me because my boobs are silly-cone is ---
--- SUCH A CROCK OF BULLSHIT!!!!!
I don't know why this is bothering me because I have no reason to give a shit about a stranger's opinion, but I am soooo over it. And I'm over seeing other girls with fake boobs go through the same GARBAGE.
Here's the truth.
I have fake boobs.
Trust me, it really doesn't go any futher than that. There's no need to ASSUME you instantly know a dozen other things about a person based on ONE trait.
How often are assumptions really accurate?
Over time, we have learned that:
Making a negative assumption about a person's character based on their skin color is rarely accurate and there's really no correlation between skin color and behavior.
Making an assumption about a person's character because they're a member of a particular political affiliation is rarely accurate and there is diversity among the membership of almost any political party or group of people.
Making an assumption about anything based on only one piece of data is scientifically unsound and leaves the assume-er wide open to looking like a fucktard for popping off about what they *think* they know as opposed to what is fact.
I realize I am preaching to the choir. However I'm just not in the mood to argue this point with the people who believe I'm a slutty, shallow, gold-digging, lying bitch just because my boobs are purchased.
Therefore, to make things easy on myself, I thought I would just open a debate in a place where I am most likely to receive instant agreement with my perspective. LOL
I'm so clever and smart. It's because I have the fake boobies, y'know... ~winkies~
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I don’t have like a "fancy" MySpace. Does that mean I’m square? 02Oct08
Some of you have incredible MySpace pages. They're amazing. All I could manage to do was turn mine pink and include a bitchin Alice Cooper tune, which has mysteriously disappeared recently and I am not at all happy about that.
Also, did you know it's almost impossible to watch COPS or Wild Police Chase Videos while someone else is trying to sleep in the same room? It's very frustrating. Watching other people get in trouble has been a favorite passtime of mine since I was but a wee lass.
Don't know why. But I think it's because I like to think to myself "sucks to be them". Ha ha. I'm so smug. *I'm* not in trouble. Ha ha.
I'm really not like that, except on the inside. ~shifty glances~
Back to me.
It's about 1 am right now. I have insomnia and things to do and I like to have my junk TV on in the background because my attention span is too short to focus on any single thing, so I need a number of diversions in my rotation, which in a roundabout way keeps me productive. Don't call it adult ADHD, because I don't think I have that. Just call it... Attention Span Not Long Enough Syndrome.
Tonight happens to be Most Shocking (which is only a fancy name for police chase videos) on the TruTV (aka Court TV). Police and crooks both yell a lot. And cars make loud crunchy sounds when they hit stuff. If I turn the volume down enough so that the noises don't disturb Mr. Bufffie, then I can't hear the intense voice over guy describing the action. I tried closed captioning, but it covered up parts of the screen I needed to see and the shows don't really translate to text very well.
Poor Mr. Buffie. He's going to be grumpy in the morning.
Why I got off on that subject, I don't know. That isn't actually the reason why I am writing a little note here.
What I wanted to say is:
THANK YOU!
I am so appreciative of all the birthday hugs and cards and well wishes you've all so generously and thoughtfully given me. What a wonderful thing to experience. If only everyone were so lucky!
Thanks again and again. You sincerely have made me feel very special and very fortunate.
It has been your kindness that has kept me believing there is more positive in this world than negative. Some of you have never met me in real life and maybe don't know a thing about me at all, but you've taken the time to send me adorable notes and comments. How cool is that?
Of course my close friends have also done what they do so well, which is share their lives with me and let me know I am in their hearts just as much as they are in mine.
All things considered, life is pretty frickin sweet when you're me. ~winks~ No lie.
Not only have I been absolutely showered with excellent happy birthday vibes, I won $50 in the department jackpot today, plus I'm moving to an exciting new job with my company, and my mum and dad are going to visit over Turkey Day! Oh and I'm getting new nails and toes this weekend and I got my teeth bleached again last Saturday and I got some rad new fake eyelashes AND I had a coupon for them, can't wait to wear them. It gets better, I had catfish on Sunday and then last night I had the most delicious ribeye from Hereford House. Mmmmm... what else... there's too many more to mention. Now I'm just gloating. Gonna stop... Me so sorry.
Thank you all one more time for being just about the most kickass set of MySpace friends ever, even though my page is kinda ho hum.
((((EPIC HUGS))))
Also, did you know it's almost impossible to watch COPS or Wild Police Chase Videos while someone else is trying to sleep in the same room? It's very frustrating. Watching other people get in trouble has been a favorite passtime of mine since I was but a wee lass.
Don't know why. But I think it's because I like to think to myself "sucks to be them". Ha ha. I'm so smug. *I'm* not in trouble. Ha ha.
I'm really not like that, except on the inside. ~shifty glances~
Back to me.
It's about 1 am right now. I have insomnia and things to do and I like to have my junk TV on in the background because my attention span is too short to focus on any single thing, so I need a number of diversions in my rotation, which in a roundabout way keeps me productive. Don't call it adult ADHD, because I don't think I have that. Just call it... Attention Span Not Long Enough Syndrome.
Tonight happens to be Most Shocking (which is only a fancy name for police chase videos) on the TruTV (aka Court TV). Police and crooks both yell a lot. And cars make loud crunchy sounds when they hit stuff. If I turn the volume down enough so that the noises don't disturb Mr. Bufffie, then I can't hear the intense voice over guy describing the action. I tried closed captioning, but it covered up parts of the screen I needed to see and the shows don't really translate to text very well.
Poor Mr. Buffie. He's going to be grumpy in the morning.
Why I got off on that subject, I don't know. That isn't actually the reason why I am writing a little note here.
What I wanted to say is:
THANK YOU!
I am so appreciative of all the birthday hugs and cards and well wishes you've all so generously and thoughtfully given me. What a wonderful thing to experience. If only everyone were so lucky!
Thanks again and again. You sincerely have made me feel very special and very fortunate.
It has been your kindness that has kept me believing there is more positive in this world than negative. Some of you have never met me in real life and maybe don't know a thing about me at all, but you've taken the time to send me adorable notes and comments. How cool is that?
Of course my close friends have also done what they do so well, which is share their lives with me and let me know I am in their hearts just as much as they are in mine.
All things considered, life is pretty frickin sweet when you're me. ~winks~ No lie.
Not only have I been absolutely showered with excellent happy birthday vibes, I won $50 in the department jackpot today, plus I'm moving to an exciting new job with my company, and my mum and dad are going to visit over Turkey Day! Oh and I'm getting new nails and toes this weekend and I got my teeth bleached again last Saturday and I got some rad new fake eyelashes AND I had a coupon for them, can't wait to wear them. It gets better, I had catfish on Sunday and then last night I had the most delicious ribeye from Hereford House. Mmmmm... what else... there's too many more to mention. Now I'm just gloating. Gonna stop... Me so sorry.
Thank you all one more time for being just about the most kickass set of MySpace friends ever, even though my page is kinda ho hum.
((((EPIC HUGS))))
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
So what if his face hasn’t fallen off his head? 23Sept08
First of all, why is it possible to change the date and time you post your blog? That's weird. This isn't a legal document or anything. What does it matter if you post at 3 am on Tuesday or if you post at 12 noon on Friday? Creepy.
Anyway, there's this movie out right now with Diane "Bland" Lane and Richard "Overrated" Gere. From the commercials, I'm deducing it takes place at some beach house in San Francisco and they spend time sighing, smiling, making cheesy innuendo, making out, having a little spat, then wandering off into the surf as the sun sets in the background. LLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE.
Who makes this shit? Who spends money to produce this tripe? Who watches this? Gag me.
Mr. Buffie says people probably like them because Richard Gere is still "good looking" for his age. To quote him, "At least his face hasn't fallen off his head."
Squishy romance movies (the few I've seen anyway) aren't particularly funny, not necessarily well-acted, not suspenseful, not exciting, not anything. They're a piece of stale white bread.
Everyone talks about Ghost (remember that dreadful flick). Ohhh, it was sooo romantic. Ohhhh, Patrick Swishy. Ohhh, it was so hot. Swoon. Swoon. Sigh. The best thing about that movie was the crazy psychic lady part played by that woman with no eyebrows... Whoopie.
... Mmm... Uhh. Ohkay, so maybe that might have been the only "romantic" movie I've actually seen all the way through. So? If that's the best there is to offer, and a lot of people insist it is, then -barf-. No thanks.
Pauly Shore may not be everyone's taste and his movies are not the most productive way to spend one's time, but at least they make most people grin like an idiot. Empty calories can be good for the soul. Screw chicken soup.
On to other things.
There's this weird mo-fo who buys space in local KC papers and writes these wacko rants about squirrels living under his hat and they whisper in his ears at night. They tell him things about local politics and conspiracy strangeness, apparently. Then at random moments during these several-paragraph-long episodes of babbling, he will say something like "For the best stump removal this side of the Mississippi, call Edgar at XXX-XXXX".
Is that what LSD does to you when you get older?
His name is Skip Sleez-something. I dunno. Google him. I bet someone has said something about him before. He probably has his own hat-dwelling-woodland-critter-babble website at this point.
I hear he's filthy rich, but that he lives in an apartment above an old mini-storage building with abandoned cars all around it or something like that.
Speaking of hearing things about people---
I saw that Clay Aiken is "coming out". Like is that really necessary? Do I have to "come out" as a fat woman? Because that would be the exact same thing. People would look at me and say "duh, we already knew that". So Clay, good for you and everything, but ... duh, we already knew that.
Sorry I haven't been around a whole lot lately. I started playing water volley ball with a group of senior citizens 3 nights a week.
No. I'm genuinely not kidding.
Stop judging. They're wonderful people and it's fun. It's a good way to keep me strong and flexible. Some of the ladies don't like to get their hair wet and some of the other ladies kind of cheat and spike the ball because they know the ones who maintain dry hair won't dive for the save. I'm telling you, they don't just sit around in rocking chairs and bake cookies on Sunday. These chicks have a wee bit of attitude.
Moving right along.
I returned to Wal-Mart tonight and managed to go inside.
-inhale-----------
------------exhale-
Tuesday nights aren't so bad. It wasn't as crowded as a Saturday. But it was still bursting at the seams with creepies. Maybe I'm a creepy, too. I don't know. What I do know is that if there is something you need down a particular aisle and you know exactly where it is, that is when you will get behind the slowest walking party of 13 in the whole store. It will consist of one mom under age 22. At least 3 kids still in diapers. One auntie or grandma wearing high-waisted jeans, plain white Keds knock offs, and a teddy bear t-shirt.
Seriously, people are just oblivious. It must have something to do with mob mentality of sorts. Everyone dreads being there so badly that when they walk through the doors, their heads instantly go up their asses and they're swallowed up in a fog. They wander aimlessly with their carts, like a highway full of drivers all drinking, texting, smoking, and eating at the same time but in slow motion.
At least 3 or 4 times, I was nearly hit head-on by an oncoming cart driver who was looking every direction except the one in which they were walking.
IDIOTS!
In comparison to the parking lot, I would say one is less likely to get seriously injured INSIDE the store, but one is still just as susceptible to being driven upon, albeit by a cart as opposed to an automobile.
In case anyone is wondering, I am overflowing with rants and complaints about Sarah Palin's hypocrisy, Obama's iffy voting record, McCain's abundance of wealth, the AIG "crisis" and our government's nearly $2 TRILLION dollar bailout for the AIG failure as well as the housing market, Lehman Brothers, etc. $2 Trillion dollars of TAX PAYER MONEY. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to privatize the profit but socialize the debt? Fuck that!!!
Are you people in DC listening to me? I write you letters all the time! I'm sick of your shit!!! Stop making bad decisions that make it harder for me to pay my bills!!!!
Local government people, I know you hear me... if you want to make it to The Hill, don't lose your ethics (if you have any) along the way. Remember we put you there and we will take you out.
To the rest of you --- VOTE!!!! Don't just vote on a single issue either. Get your ass in gear and do some reading. Turn off the TV. Put down the newspaper. Visit VoteSmart.org, visit their individual websites and know what they're really about.
Don't forget, if you're voting for someone because they want to smother the rights of others (for example those who are against gay rights or religious freedom); those same people will eventually turn on YOU too. A vote for freedom and equality for a person you may not necessarily like is STILL a vote for freedom and equality.
Wow. I wasn't expecting to get all preachy. Me so sorry. Won't happen again.
Watch for fall trends. I predict lots of jewel tones in fine gauge knits. Long A-line tunics, a revist to smocking and pin-tucks. The skinny jean silhouette will start showing up in cotton blend slacks, but leggings will be on the way out. Look for a major explosion in boots. Flat boots, heeled boots, leather, suede, patent, fringe, buckles, plain, knee high, short top... Boots galore. I think chunky jewelry is going to continue to stick around a while longer, and we will be wearing a little more of it. Handbags are going to sizzle in shimmery fabrics and metallic materials. Big bags are back, so make sure you're doing extra curls in the gym. Make up is going to be colorful, clean and blended. Deep rose tones on the eyes, neutral cheeks, liquid eyeliner, and a tawny lip. Extensions are out. Mia Farrow short is in.
Ohkay, gotta go.
*poof*
Anyway, there's this movie out right now with Diane "Bland" Lane and Richard "Overrated" Gere. From the commercials, I'm deducing it takes place at some beach house in San Francisco and they spend time sighing, smiling, making cheesy innuendo, making out, having a little spat, then wandering off into the surf as the sun sets in the background. LLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE.
Who makes this shit? Who spends money to produce this tripe? Who watches this? Gag me.
Mr. Buffie says people probably like them because Richard Gere is still "good looking" for his age. To quote him, "At least his face hasn't fallen off his head."
Squishy romance movies (the few I've seen anyway) aren't particularly funny, not necessarily well-acted, not suspenseful, not exciting, not anything. They're a piece of stale white bread.
Everyone talks about Ghost (remember that dreadful flick). Ohhh, it was sooo romantic. Ohhhh, Patrick Swishy. Ohhh, it was so hot. Swoon. Swoon. Sigh. The best thing about that movie was the crazy psychic lady part played by that woman with no eyebrows... Whoopie.
... Mmm... Uhh. Ohkay, so maybe that might have been the only "romantic" movie I've actually seen all the way through. So? If that's the best there is to offer, and a lot of people insist it is, then -barf-. No thanks.
Pauly Shore may not be everyone's taste and his movies are not the most productive way to spend one's time, but at least they make most people grin like an idiot. Empty calories can be good for the soul. Screw chicken soup.
On to other things.
There's this weird mo-fo who buys space in local KC papers and writes these wacko rants about squirrels living under his hat and they whisper in his ears at night. They tell him things about local politics and conspiracy strangeness, apparently. Then at random moments during these several-paragraph-long episodes of babbling, he will say something like "For the best stump removal this side of the Mississippi, call Edgar at XXX-XXXX".
Is that what LSD does to you when you get older?
His name is Skip Sleez-something. I dunno. Google him. I bet someone has said something about him before. He probably has his own hat-dwelling-woodland-critter-babble website at this point.
I hear he's filthy rich, but that he lives in an apartment above an old mini-storage building with abandoned cars all around it or something like that.
Speaking of hearing things about people---
I saw that Clay Aiken is "coming out". Like is that really necessary? Do I have to "come out" as a fat woman? Because that would be the exact same thing. People would look at me and say "duh, we already knew that". So Clay, good for you and everything, but ... duh, we already knew that.
Sorry I haven't been around a whole lot lately. I started playing water volley ball with a group of senior citizens 3 nights a week.
No. I'm genuinely not kidding.
Stop judging. They're wonderful people and it's fun. It's a good way to keep me strong and flexible. Some of the ladies don't like to get their hair wet and some of the other ladies kind of cheat and spike the ball because they know the ones who maintain dry hair won't dive for the save. I'm telling you, they don't just sit around in rocking chairs and bake cookies on Sunday. These chicks have a wee bit of attitude.
Moving right along.
I returned to Wal-Mart tonight and managed to go inside.
-inhale-----------
------------exhale-
Tuesday nights aren't so bad. It wasn't as crowded as a Saturday. But it was still bursting at the seams with creepies. Maybe I'm a creepy, too. I don't know. What I do know is that if there is something you need down a particular aisle and you know exactly where it is, that is when you will get behind the slowest walking party of 13 in the whole store. It will consist of one mom under age 22. At least 3 kids still in diapers. One auntie or grandma wearing high-waisted jeans, plain white Keds knock offs, and a teddy bear t-shirt.
Seriously, people are just oblivious. It must have something to do with mob mentality of sorts. Everyone dreads being there so badly that when they walk through the doors, their heads instantly go up their asses and they're swallowed up in a fog. They wander aimlessly with their carts, like a highway full of drivers all drinking, texting, smoking, and eating at the same time but in slow motion.
At least 3 or 4 times, I was nearly hit head-on by an oncoming cart driver who was looking every direction except the one in which they were walking.
IDIOTS!
In comparison to the parking lot, I would say one is less likely to get seriously injured INSIDE the store, but one is still just as susceptible to being driven upon, albeit by a cart as opposed to an automobile.
In case anyone is wondering, I am overflowing with rants and complaints about Sarah Palin's hypocrisy, Obama's iffy voting record, McCain's abundance of wealth, the AIG "crisis" and our government's nearly $2 TRILLION dollar bailout for the AIG failure as well as the housing market, Lehman Brothers, etc. $2 Trillion dollars of TAX PAYER MONEY. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to privatize the profit but socialize the debt? Fuck that!!!
Are you people in DC listening to me? I write you letters all the time! I'm sick of your shit!!! Stop making bad decisions that make it harder for me to pay my bills!!!!
Local government people, I know you hear me... if you want to make it to The Hill, don't lose your ethics (if you have any) along the way. Remember we put you there and we will take you out.
To the rest of you --- VOTE!!!! Don't just vote on a single issue either. Get your ass in gear and do some reading. Turn off the TV. Put down the newspaper. Visit VoteSmart.org, visit their individual websites and know what they're really about.
Don't forget, if you're voting for someone because they want to smother the rights of others (for example those who are against gay rights or religious freedom); those same people will eventually turn on YOU too. A vote for freedom and equality for a person you may not necessarily like is STILL a vote for freedom and equality.
Wow. I wasn't expecting to get all preachy. Me so sorry. Won't happen again.
Watch for fall trends. I predict lots of jewel tones in fine gauge knits. Long A-line tunics, a revist to smocking and pin-tucks. The skinny jean silhouette will start showing up in cotton blend slacks, but leggings will be on the way out. Look for a major explosion in boots. Flat boots, heeled boots, leather, suede, patent, fringe, buckles, plain, knee high, short top... Boots galore. I think chunky jewelry is going to continue to stick around a while longer, and we will be wearing a little more of it. Handbags are going to sizzle in shimmery fabrics and metallic materials. Big bags are back, so make sure you're doing extra curls in the gym. Make up is going to be colorful, clean and blended. Deep rose tones on the eyes, neutral cheeks, liquid eyeliner, and a tawny lip. Extensions are out. Mia Farrow short is in.
Ohkay, gotta go.
*poof*
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers! 20Aug08
Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers!
Is there a correlation between money and manners?
Common sense tells me a person can have manners or kindness or class no matter what their stock portfolio contains. Hell, I don't even HAVE a stock portfolio and I think I'm more often nice than not nice.
Common sense does not apply at Wal-Mart.
I realize people from all backgrounds shop there. But what is it about those Always Low Prices that brings out the ass in people?
Tonight I was doomed to go there after work. Had to have food for dinner, mainly. I realize Wal-Mart is evil and I shouldn't shop there. But give me a break. I literally can't afford Price Chopper. Even HyVee is a bit out of my budget on some things.
As I sat in the parking lot (because I whined and Mr. Buffie went in without me) I observed the most obnoxious behavior.
First of all, we encountered the classic "I know you were waiting for this space, but I was able to pull in faster, so fuck you" move. Fucking bad-highlights bitch and her bad-highlights in training fugly frowning teen daughter. Fuck you both, bitches. For all you know we would have offered you the space. You didn't have to be a hateful selfish whore.
Then I witness other outrageous things. People will drive on your ass if you don't move. Apparently waiting for a pedestrian to walk 5 yards is JUSTTOOLONGTOWAIT because they are INAHURRY! Therefore they're going to pause and creep forward as you walk, creeping faster the closer you get to the other side, finally reaching about 45 mph when you've cleared their path. No they literally DO NOT have an extra 30 seconds to let you cross without fear. THEY are VERY important people who have places to GO and people to SEE!!!! Very important! Hurry! Move along! Coming through!
What's worse? These people are steadily rolling toward you as you're walking AND they're swatting at 15 loose kids floundering in the back seat while trying to insert their cell phones into their skulls and scounting a parking space to steal from someone else who's been waiting for it for 5 minutes.
Ohhh, let's not forget my favorite part of the Wal-Mart parking lot experience... the varied flotsam and jetsam strewn about the place. Dirty diapers, plastic cups, those notorious blue bags. Yet I see trash can after trash can, too. All standing purposefully in their convenient locations, ready and willing to accept your refuse. What lovely people must have left these treasures just lying on the ground? Why, I can't possibly imagine.
Shopping carts. They revolutionized the grocery store experience. Life would not be the same without them. Yet they're abandoned among the cars or the little grassy medians at the end of the parking rows. Meanwhile the shopping cart return stalls are ghost towns with tumbleweeds blowing across their dusty lanes.
To summarize - Wal-Mart parking lots are viewed by most as a good place to:
qualify for a NASCAR race.
discuss football practice schedules on your cell phone.
be as selfish as humanly possible.
leave shit-bombs... err... diapers for others to find and enjoy.
discard your used shopping cart by picking any direction that points away from your car and shoving it as hard as you can.
do all of the above at the exact same moment.
...and ... my favorite... observe some of the worst that humanity has to offer without being involved in active warfare or being in maximum security prison.
Clean up on aisle 3.
Is there a correlation between money and manners?
Common sense tells me a person can have manners or kindness or class no matter what their stock portfolio contains. Hell, I don't even HAVE a stock portfolio and I think I'm more often nice than not nice.
Common sense does not apply at Wal-Mart.
I realize people from all backgrounds shop there. But what is it about those Always Low Prices that brings out the ass in people?
Tonight I was doomed to go there after work. Had to have food for dinner, mainly. I realize Wal-Mart is evil and I shouldn't shop there. But give me a break. I literally can't afford Price Chopper. Even HyVee is a bit out of my budget on some things.
As I sat in the parking lot (because I whined and Mr. Buffie went in without me) I observed the most obnoxious behavior.
First of all, we encountered the classic "I know you were waiting for this space, but I was able to pull in faster, so fuck you" move. Fucking bad-highlights bitch and her bad-highlights in training fugly frowning teen daughter. Fuck you both, bitches. For all you know we would have offered you the space. You didn't have to be a hateful selfish whore.
Then I witness other outrageous things. People will drive on your ass if you don't move. Apparently waiting for a pedestrian to walk 5 yards is JUSTTOOLONGTOWAIT because they are INAHURRY! Therefore they're going to pause and creep forward as you walk, creeping faster the closer you get to the other side, finally reaching about 45 mph when you've cleared their path. No they literally DO NOT have an extra 30 seconds to let you cross without fear. THEY are VERY important people who have places to GO and people to SEE!!!! Very important! Hurry! Move along! Coming through!
What's worse? These people are steadily rolling toward you as you're walking AND they're swatting at 15 loose kids floundering in the back seat while trying to insert their cell phones into their skulls and scounting a parking space to steal from someone else who's been waiting for it for 5 minutes.
Ohhh, let's not forget my favorite part of the Wal-Mart parking lot experience... the varied flotsam and jetsam strewn about the place. Dirty diapers, plastic cups, those notorious blue bags. Yet I see trash can after trash can, too. All standing purposefully in their convenient locations, ready and willing to accept your refuse. What lovely people must have left these treasures just lying on the ground? Why, I can't possibly imagine.
Shopping carts. They revolutionized the grocery store experience. Life would not be the same without them. Yet they're abandoned among the cars or the little grassy medians at the end of the parking rows. Meanwhile the shopping cart return stalls are ghost towns with tumbleweeds blowing across their dusty lanes.
To summarize - Wal-Mart parking lots are viewed by most as a good place to:
qualify for a NASCAR race.
discuss football practice schedules on your cell phone.
be as selfish as humanly possible.
leave shit-bombs... err... diapers for others to find and enjoy.
discard your used shopping cart by picking any direction that points away from your car and shoving it as hard as you can.
do all of the above at the exact same moment.
...and ... my favorite... observe some of the worst that humanity has to offer without being involved in active warfare or being in maximum security prison.
Clean up on aisle 3.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Perez Hilton goes from fat... to fat hater? Must be bitchy cuz he’s HUNGRY! 09Aug08
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Thursday, August 7, 2008
From the ashes of the most insignificant thing I’ve done all day... 07Aug08
If you know me, or if you're at least familiar with me, then you're probably aware that I'm not exactly "serious". Sure, I fuss and complain a lot, but it's mostly for fun.
There isn't a lot worth taking "seriously". Life is too short to live without humor in massive amounts. A light heart is a happy heart.
But, being a sensible girl, I do hold a few tasks in rather high regard when it comes to seriousness.
One of those things is driving. I ~heart~ horsepower, but I'm not willing to risk my life or someone else's life by using horsepower foolishly. Going fast is for race tracks or places where you pose a danger only to yourself and even then the chances are slim. Horsepower is for a controlled environment.
Driving means driving. Not texting, talking on the phone, eating, putting on make up, dicking around with the iPod, gawking at things that aren't on the road, not the place to be if you've been partying with adult beverages or other substances.
Tonight I was at a red light, a notoriously long one. So I used that moment to call home and let someone know to expect me soon. Just in case I should be kidnapped en route or something. (As if someone could actually do that.)
I used the time at the light to make a simple call and put my phone back in my purse in the passenger seat. After the call ended, I hung up the phone and checked the light. Still red. I opened my purse. Checked again and the light was green. I hesitated, just long enough to make sure I dropped the phone into the open top of my bag. I pushed on the pedal. The car crept forward. (Like I said, even though I -could- treat every intersection like the starting line at the drag strip, that's a waste of gas and just kind of dumb.)
Then my windshield was dark, yet only for a moment. For just a whisper of a second, I was engulfed in the shadow of a commercial truck hauling a container. Full speed ahead. Woosh. In it's wake, it left a quiet but powerful wave of air that slightly rocked my car as it blew past, less than a yard from the forward edge of my car. Perhaps closer.
I can't remember now if the container was grey or that faded rusty red color so many of them seem to be. I am pretty sure the truck was dark blue. But at that moment, things were happening so fast and so slow at the same time. For some reason, my memory forgot to record in color.
My mind hasn't been so clear in years. I remember every song I heard on the way home. I remember thinking of all the things I would have done for the last time, had I not hesitated at that light. I thought about the last phone call I had with Mr. Buffie. I thought about all the mundane things I did today and how I have every intention of showing up tomorrow to do them again because I've become so arrogant in my thinking that I feel entitled to the future.
The future is just a theory. Just an idea. It isn't "real". Only right now is real. Only right now is a guarantee.
It took hours, minutes, days to digest what happened. I let off the gas and just sat there in disbelief. I looked around at the other cars to see if anyone saw what I did, like catching a look at bigfoot and wondering if you were the only one who noticed. I don't even remember what I saw. There's just a blur and the moment really only lasted a fraction of a second but felt like a wait in line at the DMV.
I did go through the intersection eventually. And I think I kind of floated home.
People joke about being run over by a bus or getting hit by a Mack truck. I joke about that stuff, too. I joke a lot about being plowed over by a crazed, distracted, pill popping soccer mom speeding in her giant SUV while she's on her cell phone, eating a power bar, and yelling at her kids.
I will probably joke about it tomorrow. But it will never be the same. Because sometimes, that red light really is just a suggestion to someone. Why am I so sure this was almost Buffie's Last Night in Town? Think about it. The speed limit on that highway is 45 to 55 depending on where you are. This is a huge commercial truck, and I have no way of knowing (thank goodness) whether he was loaded or unladen. Still, that's a lot more iron and steel than my Z28. I don't even have a real roof on my car. I have glass t-tops. Total pancake scenario.
(Disclaimer - The vast majority of commercial truck drivers are experienced professionals who would never dream of doing something so dangerous and STUPID. In fact, stats show that in accidents involving passenger cars and commercial trucks, the PASSENGER CAR is *at fault* MOST of the time. I have a lot of respect for truck drivers and what they mean to life as we know it. If it weren't for truck drivers, we'd be going to the train depot to buy groceries, clothes, and electronics. No thank you.)
Who would ever guess that the most insignificant task could have an impact on whether you live or die in a given moment. Putting my cell phone in my purse. I hesitated to make sure it actually fell into my purse, instead of on to the seat. Had I not done that, I would have accelerated just far enough for my hood to be under the front tires and the passenger compartment to absorb the impact of the radiator and engine.
Coming home tonight was like coming home for the first time. It's like waking up and not knowing where I am now. This near-encounter has blown a fuse in me and now I'm not as familiar as I used to be.
This is so dumb. Am I overreacting? Am I not reacting enough? I've never been so numb and I've never been so cautiously aware of my world. I'm equally glad it happened and wishing it would never have happened. Experiences like these... what can I really learn from it? I'm already a very good, careful, responsible driver. (Not perfect, but a damn lot better than MANY people with whom I must unfortunately share the road.) If nothing more comes of this than a weeks long episode of insomnia, then what's it for?
Does it have to be "for" anything? Does everything truly happen for a reason? Tonight has been both an argument for and against that philosophy. Perhaps hesitating with my cell phone happened for a reason, because I was not in the intersection when the truck ran the light. However, the truck ran the light and this is the closest thing I have ever had to a near-death experience (and something I do NOT wish to repeat).
Tomorrow is going to be the same as it ever was, but it isn't going to look at all how I expected.
There isn't a lot worth taking "seriously". Life is too short to live without humor in massive amounts. A light heart is a happy heart.
But, being a sensible girl, I do hold a few tasks in rather high regard when it comes to seriousness.
One of those things is driving. I ~heart~ horsepower, but I'm not willing to risk my life or someone else's life by using horsepower foolishly. Going fast is for race tracks or places where you pose a danger only to yourself and even then the chances are slim. Horsepower is for a controlled environment.
Driving means driving. Not texting, talking on the phone, eating, putting on make up, dicking around with the iPod, gawking at things that aren't on the road, not the place to be if you've been partying with adult beverages or other substances.
Tonight I was at a red light, a notoriously long one. So I used that moment to call home and let someone know to expect me soon. Just in case I should be kidnapped en route or something. (As if someone could actually do that.)
I used the time at the light to make a simple call and put my phone back in my purse in the passenger seat. After the call ended, I hung up the phone and checked the light. Still red. I opened my purse. Checked again and the light was green. I hesitated, just long enough to make sure I dropped the phone into the open top of my bag. I pushed on the pedal. The car crept forward. (Like I said, even though I -could- treat every intersection like the starting line at the drag strip, that's a waste of gas and just kind of dumb.)
Then my windshield was dark, yet only for a moment. For just a whisper of a second, I was engulfed in the shadow of a commercial truck hauling a container. Full speed ahead. Woosh. In it's wake, it left a quiet but powerful wave of air that slightly rocked my car as it blew past, less than a yard from the forward edge of my car. Perhaps closer.
I can't remember now if the container was grey or that faded rusty red color so many of them seem to be. I am pretty sure the truck was dark blue. But at that moment, things were happening so fast and so slow at the same time. For some reason, my memory forgot to record in color.
My mind hasn't been so clear in years. I remember every song I heard on the way home. I remember thinking of all the things I would have done for the last time, had I not hesitated at that light. I thought about the last phone call I had with Mr. Buffie. I thought about all the mundane things I did today and how I have every intention of showing up tomorrow to do them again because I've become so arrogant in my thinking that I feel entitled to the future.
The future is just a theory. Just an idea. It isn't "real". Only right now is real. Only right now is a guarantee.
It took hours, minutes, days to digest what happened. I let off the gas and just sat there in disbelief. I looked around at the other cars to see if anyone saw what I did, like catching a look at bigfoot and wondering if you were the only one who noticed. I don't even remember what I saw. There's just a blur and the moment really only lasted a fraction of a second but felt like a wait in line at the DMV.
I did go through the intersection eventually. And I think I kind of floated home.
People joke about being run over by a bus or getting hit by a Mack truck. I joke about that stuff, too. I joke a lot about being plowed over by a crazed, distracted, pill popping soccer mom speeding in her giant SUV while she's on her cell phone, eating a power bar, and yelling at her kids.
I will probably joke about it tomorrow. But it will never be the same. Because sometimes, that red light really is just a suggestion to someone. Why am I so sure this was almost Buffie's Last Night in Town? Think about it. The speed limit on that highway is 45 to 55 depending on where you are. This is a huge commercial truck, and I have no way of knowing (thank goodness) whether he was loaded or unladen. Still, that's a lot more iron and steel than my Z28. I don't even have a real roof on my car. I have glass t-tops. Total pancake scenario.
(Disclaimer - The vast majority of commercial truck drivers are experienced professionals who would never dream of doing something so dangerous and STUPID. In fact, stats show that in accidents involving passenger cars and commercial trucks, the PASSENGER CAR is *at fault* MOST of the time. I have a lot of respect for truck drivers and what they mean to life as we know it. If it weren't for truck drivers, we'd be going to the train depot to buy groceries, clothes, and electronics. No thank you.)
Who would ever guess that the most insignificant task could have an impact on whether you live or die in a given moment. Putting my cell phone in my purse. I hesitated to make sure it actually fell into my purse, instead of on to the seat. Had I not done that, I would have accelerated just far enough for my hood to be under the front tires and the passenger compartment to absorb the impact of the radiator and engine.
Coming home tonight was like coming home for the first time. It's like waking up and not knowing where I am now. This near-encounter has blown a fuse in me and now I'm not as familiar as I used to be.
This is so dumb. Am I overreacting? Am I not reacting enough? I've never been so numb and I've never been so cautiously aware of my world. I'm equally glad it happened and wishing it would never have happened. Experiences like these... what can I really learn from it? I'm already a very good, careful, responsible driver. (Not perfect, but a damn lot better than MANY people with whom I must unfortunately share the road.) If nothing more comes of this than a weeks long episode of insomnia, then what's it for?
Does it have to be "for" anything? Does everything truly happen for a reason? Tonight has been both an argument for and against that philosophy. Perhaps hesitating with my cell phone happened for a reason, because I was not in the intersection when the truck ran the light. However, the truck ran the light and this is the closest thing I have ever had to a near-death experience (and something I do NOT wish to repeat).
Tomorrow is going to be the same as it ever was, but it isn't going to look at all how I expected.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
She LIES! Jillian Barberie and Nutrisystem LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE! 05Aug08
How fucking dumb do the folks at Nutrisystem's ad firm think we are? That's a rehtorical question. Obviously they think we're extremely fucked up to believe their shit products actually "work".
Case in point:
Jillian Barberie is now doing the "I lost weight on Nutrisystem and YOU can too! Here's my fat 'before' picture and look at my cocaine-slim frame now!" schtick.
Here's where I have a problem. Her "BEFORE" picture was OBVIOUSLY taken while she was preganant! DUH! Her pregnancy was in the celebrity gossip rags for one thing. Plus, in the "Before" photo, she's all baby-belly. No actual "fat" is seen on her body.
She lost 40 pounds on Nutrisystem! (What she fails to mention is that she lost 18 pounds on the day she GAVE BIRTH.) I don't really know if she had assistance from the nose powder, but let's face it, that's how a lot of Hollywood achieves the whippet look.
What pandering bullshit is this anyway? Come ON Nutrisystem. Don't feed me yellow snow and tell me it's a lemon slush.
But it just goes to show how many morons in this world, in 2008, still adhere to the belief that fat people are generally stupid, lazy slobs. Here's a newsflash, stupid lazy slobs come in ALL shapes and sizes. Likewise fat people possess an array of qualities, including intelligence, motivation, cleanliness and beauty. Get with the NOW already. 2009 will be here in a matter of months. Do you really want to be the last person stumbling around in life with a bunch of tired, old, lame stereotypes clouding up your thoughts? Not saying folks have to learn to "like" big people if they don't already, but they could at least not assume we're all dumb as a sack full of hammers.
For the record, Nutrisystem's diet doesn't sound appealing at all. Even if I wanted to be skinny, I wouldn't eat that stuff. Countless people describe it as unedible, salty, horrible looking, awful tasting microwave food. Nooooo thanks. Fresh salads and running around the block sounds by far and wide like a better deal.
So that's three shove-it's in one day!
A Shove It to Nutrisystem.
A Shove It to Jilliam Barberie for allowing her pregnancy to be exploited in that way.
An earlier Shove It to the fear mongering media.
That was exhausting. Shoving is good exercise. ~winkies~
Case in point:
Jillian Barberie is now doing the "I lost weight on Nutrisystem and YOU can too! Here's my fat 'before' picture and look at my cocaine-slim frame now!" schtick.
Here's where I have a problem. Her "BEFORE" picture was OBVIOUSLY taken while she was preganant! DUH! Her pregnancy was in the celebrity gossip rags for one thing. Plus, in the "Before" photo, she's all baby-belly. No actual "fat" is seen on her body.
She lost 40 pounds on Nutrisystem! (What she fails to mention is that she lost 18 pounds on the day she GAVE BIRTH.) I don't really know if she had assistance from the nose powder, but let's face it, that's how a lot of Hollywood achieves the whippet look.
What pandering bullshit is this anyway? Come ON Nutrisystem. Don't feed me yellow snow and tell me it's a lemon slush.
But it just goes to show how many morons in this world, in 2008, still adhere to the belief that fat people are generally stupid, lazy slobs. Here's a newsflash, stupid lazy slobs come in ALL shapes and sizes. Likewise fat people possess an array of qualities, including intelligence, motivation, cleanliness and beauty. Get with the NOW already. 2009 will be here in a matter of months. Do you really want to be the last person stumbling around in life with a bunch of tired, old, lame stereotypes clouding up your thoughts? Not saying folks have to learn to "like" big people if they don't already, but they could at least not assume we're all dumb as a sack full of hammers.
For the record, Nutrisystem's diet doesn't sound appealing at all. Even if I wanted to be skinny, I wouldn't eat that stuff. Countless people describe it as unedible, salty, horrible looking, awful tasting microwave food. Nooooo thanks. Fresh salads and running around the block sounds by far and wide like a better deal.
So that's three shove-it's in one day!
A Shove It to Nutrisystem.
A Shove It to Jilliam Barberie for allowing her pregnancy to be exploited in that way.
An earlier Shove It to the fear mongering media.
That was exhausting. Shoving is good exercise. ~winkies~
Monday, August 4, 2008
Ramble at your own risk! BEWARE! People may actually read it! 04Aug08
For punishment, I often read CNN.com, MSNBC.com and if I've been really naughty, FoxNews.com.
On one of those sites I read an article about how medical students could be doing "damage" to their careers by posting photos of themselves on the MySpace or FaceBook or whatever else.
Really?
Because frankly, how many people expect their doctor to be a robot who has never been photographed, never socialized online, never done anything resembling fun ever ever ever? A show of hands please?
I didn't think so.
Now, it's one thing to be photographed burning a cross and wearing a big white hood and expect to have ethnically diverse clients. But if that is who you really are, by all means, BE who you really are. I'm sure black patients would rather know you're a bigot in order to avoid seeking your services. You'd be doing them and yourself a favor. Same goes for the ObGyn who might post photos of himself with a "No Fat Chicks" t-shirt. Sure as the sun rises, I would not want to have him for a doctor, so if he discloses that on his MySpace (and who checks our their doctor on MySpace anyway) then this is information that helps me very much in my decision making.
Why all the paranoia about what we do online? Is this somehow worse than what we do in person? Because frankly, if there's a witness, then it's history you can't erase, whether it's stored digitally or in someone's memory. A digital record is at least typically more reliable than a memory... less open for debate, all things considered and if the data has not been manipulated or altered.
Should I be paranoid about what I do online? Heck no. What I do here I would do anywhere. Why does it matter if it's preserved in text and photos? Some of this stuff I don't want to forget. This serves as a great record of good times I've had and fun people I know. Even if I were going to be a doctor, I would not change a thing.
Don't misunderstand me to say that I think someone should act however the fuck they want in whatever company. I do believe in manners and respect and certain social standards. But that's mostly a matter of common sense. Don't swear in front of your grandparents. Don't wear low-rise jeans exposing your purple glitter thong to your office unless your boss is Hugh Hefner. Chew with your mouth closed. Say 'please' and 'thank you' when it's appropriate. Simple stuff.
But don't hide under your bed and think you've ruined your life because you were photographed holding a beer at a pub with some friends. I'm relatively sure at some point in history, at least one successful doctor has had a beer or been in a pub.
People who are paranoid and freaking out about things they've done or said online should perhaps evaluate who they are in person. Why do they feel like they have to be different where the interwebs is concerned? The best person you can be is who you ARE. Own it. No one is perfect, including you. So say 'fuck it' and have a life you enjoy and share that life with the people who matter to you.
Don't let the media's fear mongering bully you away from being yourself. No one likes it when the bully wins.
Screw you, medical-student-online-life-study-people! Quit snooping around on other people and find your own way to post drunken slack-jaw photos of yourself online. Maybe if you weren't acting all super spy online, you'd actually have drunken fun worthy of photographing!
Pfffffttttt!!!!!!!
On one of those sites I read an article about how medical students could be doing "damage" to their careers by posting photos of themselves on the MySpace or FaceBook or whatever else.
Really?
Because frankly, how many people expect their doctor to be a robot who has never been photographed, never socialized online, never done anything resembling fun ever ever ever? A show of hands please?
I didn't think so.
Now, it's one thing to be photographed burning a cross and wearing a big white hood and expect to have ethnically diverse clients. But if that is who you really are, by all means, BE who you really are. I'm sure black patients would rather know you're a bigot in order to avoid seeking your services. You'd be doing them and yourself a favor. Same goes for the ObGyn who might post photos of himself with a "No Fat Chicks" t-shirt. Sure as the sun rises, I would not want to have him for a doctor, so if he discloses that on his MySpace (and who checks our their doctor on MySpace anyway) then this is information that helps me very much in my decision making.
Why all the paranoia about what we do online? Is this somehow worse than what we do in person? Because frankly, if there's a witness, then it's history you can't erase, whether it's stored digitally or in someone's memory. A digital record is at least typically more reliable than a memory... less open for debate, all things considered and if the data has not been manipulated or altered.
Should I be paranoid about what I do online? Heck no. What I do here I would do anywhere. Why does it matter if it's preserved in text and photos? Some of this stuff I don't want to forget. This serves as a great record of good times I've had and fun people I know. Even if I were going to be a doctor, I would not change a thing.
Don't misunderstand me to say that I think someone should act however the fuck they want in whatever company. I do believe in manners and respect and certain social standards. But that's mostly a matter of common sense. Don't swear in front of your grandparents. Don't wear low-rise jeans exposing your purple glitter thong to your office unless your boss is Hugh Hefner. Chew with your mouth closed. Say 'please' and 'thank you' when it's appropriate. Simple stuff.
But don't hide under your bed and think you've ruined your life because you were photographed holding a beer at a pub with some friends. I'm relatively sure at some point in history, at least one successful doctor has had a beer or been in a pub.
People who are paranoid and freaking out about things they've done or said online should perhaps evaluate who they are in person. Why do they feel like they have to be different where the interwebs is concerned? The best person you can be is who you ARE. Own it. No one is perfect, including you. So say 'fuck it' and have a life you enjoy and share that life with the people who matter to you.
Don't let the media's fear mongering bully you away from being yourself. No one likes it when the bully wins.
Screw you, medical-student-online-life-study-people! Quit snooping around on other people and find your own way to post drunken slack-jaw photos of yourself online. Maybe if you weren't acting all super spy online, you'd actually have drunken fun worthy of photographing!
Pfffffttttt!!!!!!!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Noise in the Hood. 26Jun08
More from the sponge-like mind of Buffie. Her PlateWire bitch-fest makes a special appearance on MySpace, in yo face.
Why do the people with the most crap taste in music always have the loudest, nastiest, distorted stereos?
That's one of my biggest pet peeves.
It isn't other drivers' faults if Mr. Loud Tunes likes junk music. Why punish the rest of the people on the road by blaring a cracked MP3 of it from a busted speaker in the trunk of his hoopty? Rrrrrrgggg! I hate that!
What's the thrill? Do they need attention that badly? Besides, they should consider the attention they're getting. No one is impressed by their tired ass ride and no one is going to give them a thumbs up for playing rubbish we can hear anytime of the day on the radio in our own cars. Losers.
One of these days I'm going to try putting James Taylor all the way up to 11 while I'm in traffic and see what this big fad is all about. Apparently we're missing something from our lives with our quiet, unintrusive radios folks. We need to branch out.
Just sayin...
Why do the people with the most crap taste in music always have the loudest, nastiest, distorted stereos?
That's one of my biggest pet peeves.
It isn't other drivers' faults if Mr. Loud Tunes likes junk music. Why punish the rest of the people on the road by blaring a cracked MP3 of it from a busted speaker in the trunk of his hoopty? Rrrrrrgggg! I hate that!
What's the thrill? Do they need attention that badly? Besides, they should consider the attention they're getting. No one is impressed by their tired ass ride and no one is going to give them a thumbs up for playing rubbish we can hear anytime of the day on the radio in our own cars. Losers.
One of these days I'm going to try putting James Taylor all the way up to 11 while I'm in traffic and see what this big fad is all about. Apparently we're missing something from our lives with our quiet, unintrusive radios folks. We need to branch out.
Just sayin...
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Oops Kanye Did It Again... 25Jun08
You know you're a big whiney puss when your temper tantrums make the CNN headlines. Kanye has had at LEAST 3 or 4 of these by now. He's such a prima donna, I fully expect to see him featured on the next VH1 Divas Live.
This time, it's everyone else's fault that his show was a couple hours late going on. He's the lone genius, surrounded by idiots who have offended him beyond the outer most edges of his tolerance. The tragedy! The pain! The despair! Poor rich boy's demands not met on timely basis, world comes to halt. Is that how you think it works Kanye?
Listen this time, because I don't like repeating myself... there are people in this world with REAL problems. You are not one of those people. When YOU have a problem, you throw your pocket change at it and the problem disappears or becomes some under-paid assistant's problem. When someone like ME has a problem, I sure as shit don't get my own hissy fit featured on CNN. Nope. But I DO get to cry to my mum on the phone for a little bit, only for her to tell me to suck it up and deal with it.
See how simple that is? Now, as you've been told before, please go pine, whine and complain in the privacy of your island vacation home on a white sand beach somewhere in the south Pacific. For shame.
I have a Subway update. Got a form-letter apology in my email today. Here it is...
"Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Dear Mrs S:
Thank you for taking the time to share your comments.
We were sorry to hear that you were offended by one of our recent television
commercials. We can assure you that no harm was intended and we apologize
for causing you concern.
The SUBWAYR Advertising Department works with a Board of Trustees, as well
as a national advertising agency and several local advertising agencies, to
develop national advertising that tells customers about our great products.
In addition, all of our ads are tested with numerous consumers before they
are aired to ensure that the overall reactions to the commercials are
positive. Our ads are meant to be fun and humorous and it was never our
intention to offend.
As a leader in the sandwich-making industry, we want sub-lovers everywhere
to know that SUBWAYR is dedicated to the concerned citizens that have helped
us grow our business. Again, thank you for taking the time to express your
views. Your input and concern is appreciated.
Sincerely,
Rosemary Crispin x8201
Customer Care Representative
Customer ID:XXXXXXXXX"
First of all, I must wonder if this Rosemary Crispin is a real human or just some Subway practice of assigning different people names to their automated apology letter email servers.
Second, using Subway's reasoning that if it's said in humor then it's alright, we could say well, I know the joke was bigoted, but it was funny so you shouldn't be offended and if you are, I'm sorry, so we're cool right? Great, now buy my shit.
OR... we could use their focus-group reasoning. Mr. Subway Ad Guy has a meeting and he says, "Let's see, we want to make an ad that talks major smack on gay people. Good, good. Yes that sounds good. Alright, before we proceed, we need to run this by a focus group. Do you think those folks from the Westboro Church in Topeka are busy? Someone get Phelps on the phone for me."
I think I've proved my point, Subway. You're fucked up and not funny. Just admit it. Don't blow smoke up my ass with your I'm-sorry-but-I-was-only-trying-to-be-funny-and-besides-the-focus-group-said-it-was-good-and-did-I-forget-to-mention-we-bribed-them-with-money. Save it. Save your effing sammiches, too. I hope they all get old and moldy and I hope your marketing people all wake up tomorrow with one leg shorter than the other and hair growing where it shouldn't be. HA!
This time, it's everyone else's fault that his show was a couple hours late going on. He's the lone genius, surrounded by idiots who have offended him beyond the outer most edges of his tolerance. The tragedy! The pain! The despair! Poor rich boy's demands not met on timely basis, world comes to halt. Is that how you think it works Kanye?
Listen this time, because I don't like repeating myself... there are people in this world with REAL problems. You are not one of those people. When YOU have a problem, you throw your pocket change at it and the problem disappears or becomes some under-paid assistant's problem. When someone like ME has a problem, I sure as shit don't get my own hissy fit featured on CNN. Nope. But I DO get to cry to my mum on the phone for a little bit, only for her to tell me to suck it up and deal with it.
See how simple that is? Now, as you've been told before, please go pine, whine and complain in the privacy of your island vacation home on a white sand beach somewhere in the south Pacific. For shame.
I have a Subway update. Got a form-letter apology in my email today. Here it is...
"Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Dear Mrs S:
Thank you for taking the time to share your comments.
We were sorry to hear that you were offended by one of our recent television
commercials. We can assure you that no harm was intended and we apologize
for causing you concern.
The SUBWAYR Advertising Department works with a Board of Trustees, as well
as a national advertising agency and several local advertising agencies, to
develop national advertising that tells customers about our great products.
In addition, all of our ads are tested with numerous consumers before they
are aired to ensure that the overall reactions to the commercials are
positive. Our ads are meant to be fun and humorous and it was never our
intention to offend.
As a leader in the sandwich-making industry, we want sub-lovers everywhere
to know that SUBWAYR is dedicated to the concerned citizens that have helped
us grow our business. Again, thank you for taking the time to express your
views. Your input and concern is appreciated.
Sincerely,
Rosemary Crispin x8201
Customer Care Representative
Customer ID:XXXXXXXXX"
First of all, I must wonder if this Rosemary Crispin is a real human or just some Subway practice of assigning different people names to their automated apology letter email servers.
Second, using Subway's reasoning that if it's said in humor then it's alright, we could say well, I know the joke was bigoted, but it was funny so you shouldn't be offended and if you are, I'm sorry, so we're cool right? Great, now buy my shit.
OR... we could use their focus-group reasoning. Mr. Subway Ad Guy has a meeting and he says, "Let's see, we want to make an ad that talks major smack on gay people. Good, good. Yes that sounds good. Alright, before we proceed, we need to run this by a focus group. Do you think those folks from the Westboro Church in Topeka are busy? Someone get Phelps on the phone for me."
I think I've proved my point, Subway. You're fucked up and not funny. Just admit it. Don't blow smoke up my ass with your I'm-sorry-but-I-was-only-trying-to-be-funny-and-besides-the-focus-group-said-it-was-good-and-did-I-forget-to-mention-we-bribed-them-with-money. Save it. Save your effing sammiches, too. I hope they all get old and moldy and I hope your marketing people all wake up tomorrow with one leg shorter than the other and hair growing where it shouldn't be. HA!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Dear Subway... 22Jun08
Dear Subway,
This is regarding your new ad about the guy who eats at the burger joint and suddenly needs new bigger clothes, a seat-belt extender, etc...
Note to your marketing geniuses... if you want a customer's money perhaps it is best not to insult them. I don't have a marketing degree as I am too fat, lazy, and stupid to earn one (sarcasm intended), but I would just guess that the first rule for winning the favorable attention of a person or group of people is to approach them with kindness, or neutrality at the very least.
But y'know, what do I know? I'm merely an ignorant fat person. Besides, I'm so paranoid (as your ad suggests) to even leave my home, let alone visit a Subway where all the thin, wonderful, perfect people dine.
All kidding and snideness aside (hey, y'all started by insulting ME first, just giving back a little of what I was given), I really used to like going to Subway. This might be news to you folks, but large people do NOT actually just sit at home, eating lard out of a bucket with a spoon. Sometimes we do eat good, healthy food. Amazing? Yes, I know.
Subway isn't perfect though. You folks have lots of sodium filled lunch meats, which aren't exactly good for the arteries. Let's not forget your wide choice of high calorie sodas, cookies, and chips. So to suggest your company is the end-all of health food... (hey, that's the same as suggesting what you do about fat people -we're in need of therapy? Ring a bell?) ...it's about as much of a stretch as my elastic waist pants.
Anyway, here's the deal, you start making ads that are either *truly* effing hilarious (hire John Pinette, if he'll have your sorry ass) or you start making ads that are LESS obnoxious, stereotypical, lame, rude, and then maybe, JUST maybe I will consider coming back to a Subway. Don't forget, I'm a fat sow, so I spend a crap-ton of money on your mayo-filled, salt encrusted, foot long sandwiches, and your delicious eat-em-by-the-dozen cookies. Deal?
=)
Very best regards,
Buffie S.
Missouri
This is regarding your new ad about the guy who eats at the burger joint and suddenly needs new bigger clothes, a seat-belt extender, etc...
Note to your marketing geniuses... if you want a customer's money perhaps it is best not to insult them. I don't have a marketing degree as I am too fat, lazy, and stupid to earn one (sarcasm intended), but I would just guess that the first rule for winning the favorable attention of a person or group of people is to approach them with kindness, or neutrality at the very least.
But y'know, what do I know? I'm merely an ignorant fat person. Besides, I'm so paranoid (as your ad suggests) to even leave my home, let alone visit a Subway where all the thin, wonderful, perfect people dine.
All kidding and snideness aside (hey, y'all started by insulting ME first, just giving back a little of what I was given), I really used to like going to Subway. This might be news to you folks, but large people do NOT actually just sit at home, eating lard out of a bucket with a spoon. Sometimes we do eat good, healthy food. Amazing? Yes, I know.
Subway isn't perfect though. You folks have lots of sodium filled lunch meats, which aren't exactly good for the arteries. Let's not forget your wide choice of high calorie sodas, cookies, and chips. So to suggest your company is the end-all of health food... (hey, that's the same as suggesting what you do about fat people -we're in need of therapy? Ring a bell?) ...it's about as much of a stretch as my elastic waist pants.
Anyway, here's the deal, you start making ads that are either *truly* effing hilarious (hire John Pinette, if he'll have your sorry ass) or you start making ads that are LESS obnoxious, stereotypical, lame, rude, and then maybe, JUST maybe I will consider coming back to a Subway. Don't forget, I'm a fat sow, so I spend a crap-ton of money on your mayo-filled, salt encrusted, foot long sandwiches, and your delicious eat-em-by-the-dozen cookies. Deal?
=)
Very best regards,
Buffie S.
Missouri
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Obscenity and the common pin up. 12Jun08
I posed a question at Dims... and would like to share it here, too...
----- Who decides what is "obscene"? -----
I've been reading about Ira Isaacs' upcoming trial and it really bothers me.
I have not seen any of his films, but after reading about them, they sound like something I would never want to see. "Poo" porn isn't really my thing. In my own personal opinion it's gross, but I don't know if I would call it "obscene".
Who has the ultimate say in how "obscene" is defined anyway?
Quote:
The prosecution is the first in Southern California by a U.S. Department of Justice task force formed in 2005 after Christian conservative groups appealed to the Bush administration to crack down on smut.
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la...,4510463.story
:End Quote.
So what if it is smut? If the business is conducted legally with consenting adults, then in the United States, let them have their smut!
What the fuck is wrong with someone watching legal porn in the privacy of their own home? Why does this "task force" even exist??? And to blame it on Christians? I'm not a Christian, but I'm surrounded by them and most of the ones I know don't give two hoots what someone does on their own time.
Y'know Ira Isaacs might be a real slime bag. But isn't that his right as a free American? Isn't his art (however disgusting it may or may not be) protected under the First Amendment?
I realize there are a lot of people in this country and in our government who would dearly love to restrict everything we see, read, write and create. I realize a lot of those people will claim those restrictions are in the name of "decency" and the protection of polite society. But what a slippery slope! Even when the PMRC came about some years ago with their censorship bent trying to damn the pop music industry, I never thought they'd get away with it. And mostly, they did not.
This one though, this one has me worried. What if they get away with it? Then what? What's next to go? Are they going to take away Comedy Central? South Park? Beavis and Butthead? Are they going to close down my own paysite?
How did this happen? From where did this "task force" come? How do we make it go away?
(By the way, the task force who is prosecuting Ira Isaacs is NOT the same federal agency that deals with child porn. That's an ENTIRELY different ball of wax. We're talking about consenting adults and their First Amendment rights here.)
This guy stands a chance of going to jail, depending on the outcome of the jury's decision. If he's convicted, then in a roundabout way, I stand a chance of going to jail some day for flashing my boobies. It's a coin toss... he could get a very open-minded jury; there are no guarantees.
Either scenario could totally happen. One of my relatives, whom I love very much, is 19 different varieties of uptight. If she ever knew about my website, I think she would be "offended" to the point that she would never speak to me again. No one is perfect, y'know. She's just one of those people with a very narrow mind and extremely conservative tendencies, but I still love her because she has a good soul. She's also the kind of person who might sit on a jury. And there are other people like her who might sit on a jury with her. It only takes twelve. Twelve people who are "offended" by boobs or BBWs could potentially put my porky butt in the pokey.
But that's totally unlikely right? ... Or is it?
-I'm scared.-
----- ----- ------ ----- ------
Some pretty awesome folks responded and we have had a fun and interesting discussion.... but since I don't have their permission to post what they've written, I'll just share my end. If you want to see it all, visit Dims. You know the addy.
----- ----- ----- ----- -----
(The following is in response to someone saying the conservatives want to take away our porn while the liberals want to take away our un-green engines.)
Holy crap... I hadn't even thought about that AC. That's fucking perfect. I'll have no paysite AND no horsepower. Thanks US Government. Just kill me now.
----- ----- ----- ----- -----
(Later in the discussion, someone jokingly asked if my site had anything to do with beastiality or poo porn, since much of Ira Isaacs' material apparently covers those topics, ahem...)
Ha ha! Nope... no beastiality or poo porn for me, Risible. I can barely clean the occasional kitty hair ball without dry heaving.
For the record, I think beastiality is unethical. Animals can't give their consent, so I think they should not be made to perform any sexual act with a human. I don't know if I would consider it malim in se or malim prohibitum, or even if it is a crime at all. But it is yuck-o, in my very humble opinion.
I fully agree with what you're saying about art being in the eye of the beholder, though. Example... my father-in-law has this effing polar bear sculpture. It's HORRIBLE. The ugliest thing ever ever ever. Stupid thing is also apparently worth quite a dime and my husband is most eager to inherit the forsaken paperweight. Thinking about that dreadful chunk of crap collecting dust on the mantle where visitors can see it makes me cringe. Absolute waves of horror shake me at my core. BUT... my father-in-law and his dingbat son think the friggin thing is art in the highest degree. A pièce de résistance to display with pride in the most high-traffic area of the house. If he could mount the son of a bitch on the hood of the car, he probably would. To me, it's heinous. Plain and simple.
So which one of us would win in a court of law when it comes to the angry polar bear statue? I think that question is just as useless as the question of obscenity currently posed to Ira Isaacs' jury.
(Someone else said "the post thickens" instead of saying "plot" in reference to recent information regarding the judge on the case and his personal website containing material that might be considered 'obscene'.)
Hee hee Les... the post thickens... in a way, that's appropos. LOL I thought you were being clever. I read about the judge's problems earlier today. What another slap in the face! Geezus.
It's like we all have to live underground. No jokes, no laughing, no porn, no fast cars with big engines, no nothing. You get up in the morning, pray, go to work, come home, pray, eat, pray, shower, pray, go to bed, repeat until Saturday, get up, pray, shower, pray, read religious books and political propaganda, pray, eat, pray, go to bed, get up, pray, go to church, pray, sing, pray, secretly judge the person sitting in front of you, pray, stand up, pretend to pray while the guy up on the podium talks about how you'll rot in hell if you think about the woman at your office with the extremely nice ass, sit down, put some money in the plate, pray, go home, pray, eat, pray, got to bed, start over from the top, repeat weekly and pay taxes annually and never question what those in authority tell you to do. Is that what the government actually wants? Do our representatives and legislators actually think that is POSSIBLE, let alone practical?
I'm in Missouri and my community seems to be undecided on how "conservative" or "liberal" they want to be. There's a church on every corner but there's also a topless bar or adult-magazine shop within about 5 or 10 miles of anywhere you'd go in the Kansas City area. As for laws, my website is not breaking any laws, state or federal. I am of legal age; I pay taxes on my income; and don't do anything that would constitute indecent exposure.
While I don't really lose any sleep over being personally prosecuted on obscenity charges, since I read about this case, I now realize it IS possible that I *could* be.... however unlikely. Then I think, y'know what, it may not be as unlikely as I would let myself believe. That's why I gave the example of my super-uptight relative. If she were on my jury she would definitely vote to convict me. She does think all porn should be illegal. My point is... she is NOT alone. She's not even that much of a minority. Her husband is of a very similar mindset. It only takes 12 jurors to seal one's fate and finding 12 people like her and her husband would not be a difficult task. So I oscillate between thinking it's wildly impossible that a no-core pin up model like myself would be prosecuted; and thinking it is not only possible but could be probable if the current trend continues.
The whole situation is just junk. Honestly, leave the porn guy alone. Leave the judge alone. Leave everyone alone! Let's go after those who are really causing a problem... serial killers, anyone? Child molesters? Repeat offender drunk drivers? After we get rid of all of those, then maybe if we just have nothing better to do, I suppose we can start picking on innocent people to pass the time.
Sorry for prattling on so long, but obvsiously my mind hasn't had enough to occupy itself the past day or so. LOL
Let me also say I'm so glad to see that there are people here who would not throw me or others like me under a bus for flashing a little leg. I do appreciate that and find real comfort in it. Thanks you guys.
... Now back to your regularly scheduled programming ...
----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Your thoughts? Am I "obscene"? ... Yes. But foul language aside, all other things considered where consenting adults and legal business are concerned, where do we draw the line?
----- Who decides what is "obscene"? -----
I've been reading about Ira Isaacs' upcoming trial and it really bothers me.
I have not seen any of his films, but after reading about them, they sound like something I would never want to see. "Poo" porn isn't really my thing. In my own personal opinion it's gross, but I don't know if I would call it "obscene".
Who has the ultimate say in how "obscene" is defined anyway?
Quote:
The prosecution is the first in Southern California by a U.S. Department of Justice task force formed in 2005 after Christian conservative groups appealed to the Bush administration to crack down on smut.
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la...,4510463.story
:End Quote.
So what if it is smut? If the business is conducted legally with consenting adults, then in the United States, let them have their smut!
What the fuck is wrong with someone watching legal porn in the privacy of their own home? Why does this "task force" even exist??? And to blame it on Christians? I'm not a Christian, but I'm surrounded by them and most of the ones I know don't give two hoots what someone does on their own time.
Y'know Ira Isaacs might be a real slime bag. But isn't that his right as a free American? Isn't his art (however disgusting it may or may not be) protected under the First Amendment?
I realize there are a lot of people in this country and in our government who would dearly love to restrict everything we see, read, write and create. I realize a lot of those people will claim those restrictions are in the name of "decency" and the protection of polite society. But what a slippery slope! Even when the PMRC came about some years ago with their censorship bent trying to damn the pop music industry, I never thought they'd get away with it. And mostly, they did not.
This one though, this one has me worried. What if they get away with it? Then what? What's next to go? Are they going to take away Comedy Central? South Park? Beavis and Butthead? Are they going to close down my own paysite?
How did this happen? From where did this "task force" come? How do we make it go away?
(By the way, the task force who is prosecuting Ira Isaacs is NOT the same federal agency that deals with child porn. That's an ENTIRELY different ball of wax. We're talking about consenting adults and their First Amendment rights here.)
This guy stands a chance of going to jail, depending on the outcome of the jury's decision. If he's convicted, then in a roundabout way, I stand a chance of going to jail some day for flashing my boobies. It's a coin toss... he could get a very open-minded jury; there are no guarantees.
Either scenario could totally happen. One of my relatives, whom I love very much, is 19 different varieties of uptight. If she ever knew about my website, I think she would be "offended" to the point that she would never speak to me again. No one is perfect, y'know. She's just one of those people with a very narrow mind and extremely conservative tendencies, but I still love her because she has a good soul. She's also the kind of person who might sit on a jury. And there are other people like her who might sit on a jury with her. It only takes twelve. Twelve people who are "offended" by boobs or BBWs could potentially put my porky butt in the pokey.
But that's totally unlikely right? ... Or is it?
-I'm scared.-
----- ----- ------ ----- ------
Some pretty awesome folks responded and we have had a fun and interesting discussion.... but since I don't have their permission to post what they've written, I'll just share my end. If you want to see it all, visit Dims. You know the addy.
----- ----- ----- ----- -----
(The following is in response to someone saying the conservatives want to take away our porn while the liberals want to take away our un-green engines.)
Holy crap... I hadn't even thought about that AC. That's fucking perfect. I'll have no paysite AND no horsepower. Thanks US Government. Just kill me now.
----- ----- ----- ----- -----
(Later in the discussion, someone jokingly asked if my site had anything to do with beastiality or poo porn, since much of Ira Isaacs' material apparently covers those topics, ahem...)
Ha ha! Nope... no beastiality or poo porn for me, Risible. I can barely clean the occasional kitty hair ball without dry heaving.
For the record, I think beastiality is unethical. Animals can't give their consent, so I think they should not be made to perform any sexual act with a human. I don't know if I would consider it malim in se or malim prohibitum, or even if it is a crime at all. But it is yuck-o, in my very humble opinion.
I fully agree with what you're saying about art being in the eye of the beholder, though. Example... my father-in-law has this effing polar bear sculpture. It's HORRIBLE. The ugliest thing ever ever ever. Stupid thing is also apparently worth quite a dime and my husband is most eager to inherit the forsaken paperweight. Thinking about that dreadful chunk of crap collecting dust on the mantle where visitors can see it makes me cringe. Absolute waves of horror shake me at my core. BUT... my father-in-law and his dingbat son think the friggin thing is art in the highest degree. A pièce de résistance to display with pride in the most high-traffic area of the house. If he could mount the son of a bitch on the hood of the car, he probably would. To me, it's heinous. Plain and simple.
So which one of us would win in a court of law when it comes to the angry polar bear statue? I think that question is just as useless as the question of obscenity currently posed to Ira Isaacs' jury.
(Someone else said "the post thickens" instead of saying "plot" in reference to recent information regarding the judge on the case and his personal website containing material that might be considered 'obscene'.)
Hee hee Les... the post thickens... in a way, that's appropos. LOL I thought you were being clever. I read about the judge's problems earlier today. What another slap in the face! Geezus.
It's like we all have to live underground. No jokes, no laughing, no porn, no fast cars with big engines, no nothing. You get up in the morning, pray, go to work, come home, pray, eat, pray, shower, pray, go to bed, repeat until Saturday, get up, pray, shower, pray, read religious books and political propaganda, pray, eat, pray, go to bed, get up, pray, go to church, pray, sing, pray, secretly judge the person sitting in front of you, pray, stand up, pretend to pray while the guy up on the podium talks about how you'll rot in hell if you think about the woman at your office with the extremely nice ass, sit down, put some money in the plate, pray, go home, pray, eat, pray, got to bed, start over from the top, repeat weekly and pay taxes annually and never question what those in authority tell you to do. Is that what the government actually wants? Do our representatives and legislators actually think that is POSSIBLE, let alone practical?
I'm in Missouri and my community seems to be undecided on how "conservative" or "liberal" they want to be. There's a church on every corner but there's also a topless bar or adult-magazine shop within about 5 or 10 miles of anywhere you'd go in the Kansas City area. As for laws, my website is not breaking any laws, state or federal. I am of legal age; I pay taxes on my income; and don't do anything that would constitute indecent exposure.
While I don't really lose any sleep over being personally prosecuted on obscenity charges, since I read about this case, I now realize it IS possible that I *could* be.... however unlikely. Then I think, y'know what, it may not be as unlikely as I would let myself believe. That's why I gave the example of my super-uptight relative. If she were on my jury she would definitely vote to convict me. She does think all porn should be illegal. My point is... she is NOT alone. She's not even that much of a minority. Her husband is of a very similar mindset. It only takes 12 jurors to seal one's fate and finding 12 people like her and her husband would not be a difficult task. So I oscillate between thinking it's wildly impossible that a no-core pin up model like myself would be prosecuted; and thinking it is not only possible but could be probable if the current trend continues.
The whole situation is just junk. Honestly, leave the porn guy alone. Leave the judge alone. Leave everyone alone! Let's go after those who are really causing a problem... serial killers, anyone? Child molesters? Repeat offender drunk drivers? After we get rid of all of those, then maybe if we just have nothing better to do, I suppose we can start picking on innocent people to pass the time.
Sorry for prattling on so long, but obvsiously my mind hasn't had enough to occupy itself the past day or so. LOL
Let me also say I'm so glad to see that there are people here who would not throw me or others like me under a bus for flashing a little leg. I do appreciate that and find real comfort in it. Thanks you guys.
... Now back to your regularly scheduled programming ...
----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Your thoughts? Am I "obscene"? ... Yes. But foul language aside, all other things considered where consenting adults and legal business are concerned, where do we draw the line?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
The White Bandage of Courage - or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tumor. 04Jun08
It's been a strange couple of weeks.
At the end of April, out of nowhere, I start feeling this knot on my stomach. That's weird. Doesn't hurt. Hmph. It'll go away.
But 2 weeks later, it was SO NOT going away. FINE. Goddammit, fine. I'll call the doctor. I'll use one of my FEW covered doc appointments (thanks to fucking cheapskate changes in my insurance and a shitty economy).
Doc pokes around at it. Says it's a cyst and sends me to a surgeon. He pokes around at it, says not a cyst. Dunno what it is. Will chop open and remove at hospital.
Show up at hospital. Got poked with needles, and given some magic gas. Pass out. Wake up an hour later. Feel odd painful sensation where mysterious lump used to be. Try to touch area. Feels like cotton and gauze cell phone has been taped to my belly. Geezus christ, what did they do to me.
Mr. Buffie says the doc told him no worries. Still dunno what it is, but sending it to the lab. (You mean I go through all this shit and I don't get to keep it? I even brought a jar with me.)
Got home with magic pills. Wake up 2 days later.
Look at incision myself for first time. Fucking cow! That's a HUGE cut. How big was this thing? The doc supposedly said it was small, like a walnut or a pecan. That's got to be a 6 inch incision. Good grief. This suture thing is cool though. There's only one "stitch". It sticks out on one side, goes under my skin and holds it together, then sticks out the other side. Neato.
This thing flippin hurts though. Sitting up really sucks because my belly puts pressure on the cut. Massive bruises, too. Lame lame lame.
But alas, I feel like something is now missing. Over the weeks, I grew close to my new little friend. I had given it a name and had big plans for it. I was going to keep it in a jar with some glitter, like a snow globe. It was going to have a band, too. Lil Tumor and the Tape Worm Twins (the tape worms were going to be supplied by someone else. I don't have tape worms) would release their single "Band in a Jar". It would be a top 40 hit. They would have their own Behind the Music special on VH1. However, it is not to be. The tumor was abducted by someone on the staff at St. Luke's. Certainly they were unaware that they had absconded with a local celebrity.
Geeeeeeezus christ it hurts. I find myself just sitting, in a stupor, wondering when the pain will subside. Yeagh. My second boob job didn't hurt this bad, ironically.
Gas prices have me totally depressed. Unfortunately I've had time to think about it. I've had time to ponder on too much. We're going to have a new president in a few months. Another wealthy suit who doesn't know or give two shits about middle class people like me or my family.
Then I get all bitter about people who abuse the welfare system and how they slowly drain funds from those of us already struggling to make ends meet. I just ~heart~ the saying "if you can't feed em, don't' breed em". Why can't more people take that to heart? If you're struggling and you have 2 or 3 kids, fine. Get some TEMPORARY help. But QUIT popping out kids until your ass can afford them. Oh... and don't bitch and whine about having so little and needing my tax dollars for help when your ass can always afford cigarettes, cell phones, booze, cable tv, and acrylic nails. Government aid is meant for disabled people, the elderly, disadvantaged kids, and those who need TEMPORARY help. It is NOT a way of life or a free ride for some lazy ass who thinks they're entitled to a hand out.
I've spent most of today trying to scrub my brain fee of these thoughts. I'm SO over it. Call me shallow if you must, but there's a reason why I would rather watch E! News over CNN. I can only handle so many bloated politicans, earthquakes, soaring fuel prices, and global warming. Give me info on the latest in purses for summer, lip gloss that smells like bubble gum, where to buy cheap earrings, what cars bounce your boobs the most when you drive over speed bumps, kittens in baskets... You know... Buffie stuff.
I have over a thousand unanswered messages in my MySpace inbox. Gulp. Me so sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to get to all of those in a timely manner. Oh long johnson, why can't I have a fake job where I don't ever leave the house? Is there any way I can get paid for goofing off on MySpace? What about getting paid to nap? Certainly that's worth something.
I am just not quite myself. I miss my friends. I think Kevin is going to visit soon. Chuckwagon better get himself prepared for another princess in the house. Bring on the alcohol and guacamole. Chuck still can't eat a tortilla. Kevin ruined tortillas for him. Way to go, Kev!
The world has to get better. Soon. Or else the news needs to start reporting some of the good things that happen. Too much information is a bad thing, especially when it's all shit shitty crap shit that's making our lives so hard.
What have we here... in the cabinet... I spy chocolate covered almonds. Joy and excitement! Well, that is certainly the best thing I've found today.
Later gators. I have an appointment with yummy goodness.
At the end of April, out of nowhere, I start feeling this knot on my stomach. That's weird. Doesn't hurt. Hmph. It'll go away.
But 2 weeks later, it was SO NOT going away. FINE. Goddammit, fine. I'll call the doctor. I'll use one of my FEW covered doc appointments (thanks to fucking cheapskate changes in my insurance and a shitty economy).
Doc pokes around at it. Says it's a cyst and sends me to a surgeon. He pokes around at it, says not a cyst. Dunno what it is. Will chop open and remove at hospital.
Show up at hospital. Got poked with needles, and given some magic gas. Pass out. Wake up an hour later. Feel odd painful sensation where mysterious lump used to be. Try to touch area. Feels like cotton and gauze cell phone has been taped to my belly. Geezus christ, what did they do to me.
Mr. Buffie says the doc told him no worries. Still dunno what it is, but sending it to the lab. (You mean I go through all this shit and I don't get to keep it? I even brought a jar with me.)
Got home with magic pills. Wake up 2 days later.
Look at incision myself for first time. Fucking cow! That's a HUGE cut. How big was this thing? The doc supposedly said it was small, like a walnut or a pecan. That's got to be a 6 inch incision. Good grief. This suture thing is cool though. There's only one "stitch". It sticks out on one side, goes under my skin and holds it together, then sticks out the other side. Neato.
This thing flippin hurts though. Sitting up really sucks because my belly puts pressure on the cut. Massive bruises, too. Lame lame lame.
But alas, I feel like something is now missing. Over the weeks, I grew close to my new little friend. I had given it a name and had big plans for it. I was going to keep it in a jar with some glitter, like a snow globe. It was going to have a band, too. Lil Tumor and the Tape Worm Twins (the tape worms were going to be supplied by someone else. I don't have tape worms) would release their single "Band in a Jar". It would be a top 40 hit. They would have their own Behind the Music special on VH1. However, it is not to be. The tumor was abducted by someone on the staff at St. Luke's. Certainly they were unaware that they had absconded with a local celebrity.
Geeeeeeezus christ it hurts. I find myself just sitting, in a stupor, wondering when the pain will subside. Yeagh. My second boob job didn't hurt this bad, ironically.
Gas prices have me totally depressed. Unfortunately I've had time to think about it. I've had time to ponder on too much. We're going to have a new president in a few months. Another wealthy suit who doesn't know or give two shits about middle class people like me or my family.
Then I get all bitter about people who abuse the welfare system and how they slowly drain funds from those of us already struggling to make ends meet. I just ~heart~ the saying "if you can't feed em, don't' breed em". Why can't more people take that to heart? If you're struggling and you have 2 or 3 kids, fine. Get some TEMPORARY help. But QUIT popping out kids until your ass can afford them. Oh... and don't bitch and whine about having so little and needing my tax dollars for help when your ass can always afford cigarettes, cell phones, booze, cable tv, and acrylic nails. Government aid is meant for disabled people, the elderly, disadvantaged kids, and those who need TEMPORARY help. It is NOT a way of life or a free ride for some lazy ass who thinks they're entitled to a hand out.
I've spent most of today trying to scrub my brain fee of these thoughts. I'm SO over it. Call me shallow if you must, but there's a reason why I would rather watch E! News over CNN. I can only handle so many bloated politicans, earthquakes, soaring fuel prices, and global warming. Give me info on the latest in purses for summer, lip gloss that smells like bubble gum, where to buy cheap earrings, what cars bounce your boobs the most when you drive over speed bumps, kittens in baskets... You know... Buffie stuff.
I have over a thousand unanswered messages in my MySpace inbox. Gulp. Me so sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to get to all of those in a timely manner. Oh long johnson, why can't I have a fake job where I don't ever leave the house? Is there any way I can get paid for goofing off on MySpace? What about getting paid to nap? Certainly that's worth something.
I am just not quite myself. I miss my friends. I think Kevin is going to visit soon. Chuckwagon better get himself prepared for another princess in the house. Bring on the alcohol and guacamole. Chuck still can't eat a tortilla. Kevin ruined tortillas for him. Way to go, Kev!
The world has to get better. Soon. Or else the news needs to start reporting some of the good things that happen. Too much information is a bad thing, especially when it's all shit shitty crap shit that's making our lives so hard.
What have we here... in the cabinet... I spy chocolate covered almonds. Joy and excitement! Well, that is certainly the best thing I've found today.
Later gators. I have an appointment with yummy goodness.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Rock of Love is a delightful slut-fest. Why do I watch this junk!?!? 22Apr08
Got fished in, totally fished in by the VH1. Happens all the time. It's like they have spies in my brain. Ohhh... Rock of Love. All my heart to Poison, because they spent a great deal of time in my CD player and still do, but not as often, too many choices these days. This show is a tour bus full of painted valley hookers on parade. It's nothing but lip gloss, plastic, and the unidentifiable ick around the edges of the hot tub. And I can't seem to stop watching. The shame I feel.
Mr. Buffie is a very lucky son of a gun. He's totally passed out on the sofa right now.
Post-fried-chicken-food-coma. It's a common occurrence in American males over the age of 35.
He was very busy doing my biddng all weekend. I have new mulch (it's red!) and new plants and some iris that will soon bloom.
Hey, do any of you know if mulch is bad? I talked to Misse on the phone tonight. Anyway, she said mulch was supposed to be bad, but she couldn't remember if that
was a fact or suburban legend. eeek ))Worried! ((
Bugs, gross.
Is it against the law to bribe a sky cap? I kind of assumed that was why they were really there. These aren't simply kind, smiling gentlemen who help you unload your car and never complain when your license gets stuck in your wallet. Those guys are
there to make a dime, yeah duh. I mean, everyone knows extra tips earn you some extra liberties. That's the American Way. Those who can afford DO and
those who can't afford POUT. -pout- It was ok to bribe in the days before the TSA clearly. Two big, heavy bags and two carry ons, plus
a purse, a camera and a paper shopping bag. That's
how much I took with me then and that's how
much I WOULD take if I still could without the want of mailing half of it ahead of time and tipping the
@$%^^&* sky cap and extra $100 bucks and flashing a little more boob than is probably really legal in public.
I just saw the dumbest commercial ever... these
sisters get into a fight on this reality show and the announcer is all dramatic like this is the first
sister fight ever in history. Whatever! I don't even have siblings and I know about those fights. Duh.
Everyone does.
Ohkay, what the hell is going on with all these line breaks? Screw this. I'm not fixing all that! Pfft. Geez. MySpace has more fricking technical gremlins than boat load of classic European cars.
Poo on MySpace. Besides, there's a bug in this room and it's huge and flying and I think I need to find another room to be in because fearless bug killer guy is asleep on the couch!!!! Aaaaak!
Mr. Buffie is a very lucky son of a gun. He's totally passed out on the sofa right now.
Post-fried-chicken-food-coma. It's a common occurrence in American males over the age of 35.
He was very busy doing my biddng all weekend. I have new mulch (it's red!) and new plants and some iris that will soon bloom.
Hey, do any of you know if mulch is bad? I talked to Misse on the phone tonight. Anyway, she said mulch was supposed to be bad, but she couldn't remember if that
was a fact or suburban legend. eeek ))Worried! ((
Bugs, gross.
Is it against the law to bribe a sky cap? I kind of assumed that was why they were really there. These aren't simply kind, smiling gentlemen who help you unload your car and never complain when your license gets stuck in your wallet. Those guys are
there to make a dime, yeah duh. I mean, everyone knows extra tips earn you some extra liberties. That's the American Way. Those who can afford DO and
those who can't afford POUT. -pout- It was ok to bribe in the days before the TSA clearly. Two big, heavy bags and two carry ons, plus
a purse, a camera and a paper shopping bag. That's
how much I took with me then and that's how
much I WOULD take if I still could without the want of mailing half of it ahead of time and tipping the
@$%^^&* sky cap and extra $100 bucks and flashing a little more boob than is probably really legal in public.
I just saw the dumbest commercial ever... these
sisters get into a fight on this reality show and the announcer is all dramatic like this is the first
sister fight ever in history. Whatever! I don't even have siblings and I know about those fights. Duh.
Everyone does.
Ohkay, what the hell is going on with all these line breaks? Screw this. I'm not fixing all that! Pfft. Geez. MySpace has more fricking technical gremlins than boat load of classic European cars.
Poo on MySpace. Besides, there's a bug in this room and it's huge and flying and I think I need to find another room to be in because fearless bug killer guy is asleep on the couch!!!! Aaaaak!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Crybabies! 01Apr08
I’m surrounded by whiners! Everywhere! Make them sssstop.
Counting down to latest Buffie rant in 3... 2... 1...
Today, someone complained there was too much mail in our out box this afternoon. TOO MUCH MAIL in the OUT Box! OUT. It’s outgoing mail. That’s where it goes. It isn’t MY fault there was so much of it. Maybe we’re doing too much business. Maybe you should complain to the BIG BOSS about that. GO HOME and deal with it the next day!!! Is this rocket science??? Really?
Recently, someone cried to my boss because my boobs looked too big in a particular shirt. Even said they could see my areolas because the top was so low. BULLSHIT! I have better manners and more class than that. Like I want to show off my goods in THAT environment. Puhleeze. Next time, Buffie is not going to listen to the petty garbage. She’s going to hang up the phone and go on about her business. Unlike some folks, she has work to do and cares about getting it done.
A CryBaby Award should be given to the person who complained about the junky truck being parked next to their car in the parking lot. True Story! It’s been a while ago, but some butt clown had a poo poo party with how our fugly truck was too close to their sacred automobile. The kicker? Junky truck was completely within the white lines. Not even on the edge. If CryBaby Supreme is so concerned about his ride, perhaps he should double-park in the back of the lot, like the rest of us do when we drive our nice cars to work. Just another helpful suggestion. ~evil grin~
If I took time out of my day to whine and cry about every little thing I witnessed that wasn’t to my liking, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else.
It’s called TOLERANCE. That’s what a person does when they’re around other people. They accept the fact that we’re all different and we all do things in our own way. We TOLERATE those few differences that rub us the wrong way. It takes one hell of an overblown sense of entitlement to think that a person’s lack of tolerance constitutes a change in behavior on behalf of the rest of the world. My ass! Get over it. Shit happens. No one is guaranteed a 100% happy-all-the-time life.
BTW, ranting is not the same as being a cry-baby. I’m laughing my ass off when I rant because life can be so completely absurd! Crybabies, on the other hand, are usually miserable and pathetic. ... At least that’s what I tell myself to justify my ranting. Hee Hee Hee!!!
~winkies~
Counting down to latest Buffie rant in 3... 2... 1...
Today, someone complained there was too much mail in our out box this afternoon. TOO MUCH MAIL in the OUT Box! OUT. It’s outgoing mail. That’s where it goes. It isn’t MY fault there was so much of it. Maybe we’re doing too much business. Maybe you should complain to the BIG BOSS about that. GO HOME and deal with it the next day!!! Is this rocket science??? Really?
Recently, someone cried to my boss because my boobs looked too big in a particular shirt. Even said they could see my areolas because the top was so low. BULLSHIT! I have better manners and more class than that. Like I want to show off my goods in THAT environment. Puhleeze. Next time, Buffie is not going to listen to the petty garbage. She’s going to hang up the phone and go on about her business. Unlike some folks, she has work to do and cares about getting it done.
A CryBaby Award should be given to the person who complained about the junky truck being parked next to their car in the parking lot. True Story! It’s been a while ago, but some butt clown had a poo poo party with how our fugly truck was too close to their sacred automobile. The kicker? Junky truck was completely within the white lines. Not even on the edge. If CryBaby Supreme is so concerned about his ride, perhaps he should double-park in the back of the lot, like the rest of us do when we drive our nice cars to work. Just another helpful suggestion. ~evil grin~
If I took time out of my day to whine and cry about every little thing I witnessed that wasn’t to my liking, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else.
It’s called TOLERANCE. That’s what a person does when they’re around other people. They accept the fact that we’re all different and we all do things in our own way. We TOLERATE those few differences that rub us the wrong way. It takes one hell of an overblown sense of entitlement to think that a person’s lack of tolerance constitutes a change in behavior on behalf of the rest of the world. My ass! Get over it. Shit happens. No one is guaranteed a 100% happy-all-the-time life.
BTW, ranting is not the same as being a cry-baby. I’m laughing my ass off when I rant because life can be so completely absurd! Crybabies, on the other hand, are usually miserable and pathetic. ... At least that’s what I tell myself to justify my ranting. Hee Hee Hee!!!
~winkies~
Monday, February 4, 2008
Big FAT Valentine - Here’s to the loves in my life. 04Feb08
I complain a lot, it's an area where I'm naturally gifted.
But... in spite of my fussing, I'm totally blessed with luck. Always have been. Mostly, I've been very extremely way lucky to have known some far out badasses.
First, my mums and daddy. They are still married. Incredible she hasn't killed him yet! LOL Love you both, even when you work my nerves. They taught me everything I know about the importance of having a good soul.
My Mr. Buffie. He's the most awesome person I've ever known. He even laughs at my jokes and pretends I'm clever. Plus he's fun to cuddle and we like a bunch of the same stuff. He knows about junk I will never understand, but he is patient and tries to 'splain it to me anyway.
My dear girlie friends. Misse, Lisa, KatMak, Regina, Randi, Rachel, Heather, Gwen, AnnMarie, all the Big Cuties! You chicks have no idea how much you inspire me. I draw so much strength from y'all. When I have days where I feel like the world is shitting on me, I think about how often you've all made me smile or giggle or done something outrageous and things are suddenly not awful.
My Kevin. You're delightfully hateful. From the day we met some 10 or 11 years ago (damn we're old), we were best friends. I miss you and it's really hard to be so far away from you. Mexican Mondays are not right without you. Chuckwagon and I often find ourselves playing the WWKS game. What Would Kevin Say? "What I'm lookin fo' is a Lexus." "You got a batroom in yo betroom? Where you gonna eat yo cer-real?" My neighbors are probably STILL talking bout 'that girl who lives on the corner who cheats on her husband every Monday'.
Beau, I miss you so much. I can't go the rest of my life and never see you again. You were the brother I never had and the friend I needed most in this world and shame on me for not realizing that sometimes. You always told me the truth, even when I refused to hear it. Thank you.
Bec and Branita, you're still my home-town girls and I look forward to going home in hopes I'll see ya both. Two of the most 'real' chicks ever. EVER!
The Mixxx. Freaks. All of you. Freaks and weirdos and perverts! I can't believe I spent all that time with you people. I can't believe we drank so much. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Why the hell didn't we have better things to do? Dammit! =) Good times. I wish I still had a pager, I'd 143 4-Ever to ya'll!
To ALL the awesome women in my world... thanks for making me feel like I can do anything, absolutely anything. Thank you for giving me the guts to live out loud and without apology.
Super Sloppy Kisses to The Unit, Steph, and CC Banana! Hee hee hee!!!
Many many many many hugs to those of you I don't know very well. I appreciate the notes you send me every day and all the kindness you so freely give. It's a wonderful feeling to read all your sweet words. Thank you a million times!
Big Candy Valentie Hearts to all of you! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
But... in spite of my fussing, I'm totally blessed with luck. Always have been. Mostly, I've been very extremely way lucky to have known some far out badasses.
First, my mums and daddy. They are still married. Incredible she hasn't killed him yet! LOL Love you both, even when you work my nerves. They taught me everything I know about the importance of having a good soul.
My Mr. Buffie. He's the most awesome person I've ever known. He even laughs at my jokes and pretends I'm clever. Plus he's fun to cuddle and we like a bunch of the same stuff. He knows about junk I will never understand, but he is patient and tries to 'splain it to me anyway.
My dear girlie friends. Misse, Lisa, KatMak, Regina, Randi, Rachel, Heather, Gwen, AnnMarie, all the Big Cuties! You chicks have no idea how much you inspire me. I draw so much strength from y'all. When I have days where I feel like the world is shitting on me, I think about how often you've all made me smile or giggle or done something outrageous and things are suddenly not awful.
My Kevin. You're delightfully hateful. From the day we met some 10 or 11 years ago (damn we're old), we were best friends. I miss you and it's really hard to be so far away from you. Mexican Mondays are not right without you. Chuckwagon and I often find ourselves playing the WWKS game. What Would Kevin Say? "What I'm lookin fo' is a Lexus." "You got a batroom in yo betroom? Where you gonna eat yo cer-real?" My neighbors are probably STILL talking bout 'that girl who lives on the corner who cheats on her husband every Monday'.
Beau, I miss you so much. I can't go the rest of my life and never see you again. You were the brother I never had and the friend I needed most in this world and shame on me for not realizing that sometimes. You always told me the truth, even when I refused to hear it. Thank you.
Bec and Branita, you're still my home-town girls and I look forward to going home in hopes I'll see ya both. Two of the most 'real' chicks ever. EVER!
The Mixxx. Freaks. All of you. Freaks and weirdos and perverts! I can't believe I spent all that time with you people. I can't believe we drank so much. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Why the hell didn't we have better things to do? Dammit! =) Good times. I wish I still had a pager, I'd 143 4-Ever to ya'll!
To ALL the awesome women in my world... thanks for making me feel like I can do anything, absolutely anything. Thank you for giving me the guts to live out loud and without apology.
Super Sloppy Kisses to The Unit, Steph, and CC Banana! Hee hee hee!!!
Many many many many hugs to those of you I don't know very well. I appreciate the notes you send me every day and all the kindness you so freely give. It's a wonderful feeling to read all your sweet words. Thank you a million times!
Big Candy Valentie Hearts to all of you! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
I soooo DO NOT -heart- Huckabee! 09Jan08
Huckabee scares me.
1 - Don't like his name. Don't know why, but I hate his name. It doesn't sound like a real name. It sounds like some shitty restaurant chain.
2 - Don't like anyone with any sort of "anti" agenda where people's appearance is concerned. He has an anti-fat agenda. (See: BMI listed on kid's grade cards in Arkansas.) I would still hate him if he had an anti-short agenda or an anti-big feet agenda. Americans are permitted to look however they want. If he's president, does that mean I'll have to hide in the house all the time, lest I'm caught and arrested for public fatted-ness? Why does no one seem to mention he had WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY to get thinner? Yeah, Fuckerbee, it's an easy ride when you have a doctor slice up your guts so you can't eat. Not everyone has that option. Not everyone WANTS that option. Some of us are just fine the way we currently live. Leave those kids alone! Geezus.
3 - He doesn't drink. Who, from Arkansas, doesn't drink? Who wants to be around a stone cold sober Arkansasanianan? Not me. Sounds like he's trying to deny his Arky roots. I don't like fakers.
4 - He has what is known as "crazy white boy stare". It's a common condition among all stupid people, actually... not just crazy white boys. Usually occurs when they're asked a question they don't understand or can't answer. Caused when the 3 active brain cells jam up with the 19 inactive ones.
5 - Wants to over-turn Roe v. Wade. Probably wants to deny women the right to vote and drive, too... FUCK THAT NOISE. Would I personally ever have an abortion? Probably not. Depends on the circumstances. But, who am I to say someone else shouldn't have the option??? Am I going to adopt their unwanted baby? Nope. So I had better leave them alone and stay out of their business. Is Fuckerbee and his sober dowdy wife going to adopt these babies and let them eat off the $10,000 china and crystal place settings in the AR Gov'ners mansion? Doubt it! Highly doubt it. Where does that fucktard get off wanting to deny a woman a choice? We can't stop hos from being hos and we can't stop rapists from being rapists and we can't stop dangerous pregnancies from happening, so let's just leave the choice up to the INDIVIDUAL... unless we're going to stand in line and personally be accountable for these children we've forced into the world... That's all I'm sayin.
6 - Is opposed to stem-cell research. Yes... let's all die skinny and sober, in church, while trying to feed masses of unwanted babies with $10,000 china.
7 - Opposes the right for gay couples to marry. Too bad we can't figure out if an embryo is gay or not... because then he would probably allow gay abortion, just so there aren't as many homos running around, trying to get married and shit. Such a shame my gay friends actually have things to do and money to spend, otherwise I'd get a gang of them together to come kick his ass.
8 - Isn't down with separation of church and state. Wants to bring his Christian faith to work with him. Um... 'scuse me, but I know a WHOLE BUNCH of Americans who might not be cool with that. Let's see... Jewish people. Buddhist people. Hindu people. Agnostic or atheist people. Muslim people. Just to name a few...
Gag me gag me gag me GAG ME! His website is awful! Just overflowing with bile and spew and garbage! This man is an IDIOT. No, seriously, he's not bright and he's not bright enough to know he's not bright. He thinks he's fine and dandy.
Huckabee = Yucky Pee.
1 - Don't like his name. Don't know why, but I hate his name. It doesn't sound like a real name. It sounds like some shitty restaurant chain.
2 - Don't like anyone with any sort of "anti" agenda where people's appearance is concerned. He has an anti-fat agenda. (See: BMI listed on kid's grade cards in Arkansas.) I would still hate him if he had an anti-short agenda or an anti-big feet agenda. Americans are permitted to look however they want. If he's president, does that mean I'll have to hide in the house all the time, lest I'm caught and arrested for public fatted-ness? Why does no one seem to mention he had WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY to get thinner? Yeah, Fuckerbee, it's an easy ride when you have a doctor slice up your guts so you can't eat. Not everyone has that option. Not everyone WANTS that option. Some of us are just fine the way we currently live. Leave those kids alone! Geezus.
3 - He doesn't drink. Who, from Arkansas, doesn't drink? Who wants to be around a stone cold sober Arkansasanianan? Not me. Sounds like he's trying to deny his Arky roots. I don't like fakers.
4 - He has what is known as "crazy white boy stare". It's a common condition among all stupid people, actually... not just crazy white boys. Usually occurs when they're asked a question they don't understand or can't answer. Caused when the 3 active brain cells jam up with the 19 inactive ones.
5 - Wants to over-turn Roe v. Wade. Probably wants to deny women the right to vote and drive, too... FUCK THAT NOISE. Would I personally ever have an abortion? Probably not. Depends on the circumstances. But, who am I to say someone else shouldn't have the option??? Am I going to adopt their unwanted baby? Nope. So I had better leave them alone and stay out of their business. Is Fuckerbee and his sober dowdy wife going to adopt these babies and let them eat off the $10,000 china and crystal place settings in the AR Gov'ners mansion? Doubt it! Highly doubt it. Where does that fucktard get off wanting to deny a woman a choice? We can't stop hos from being hos and we can't stop rapists from being rapists and we can't stop dangerous pregnancies from happening, so let's just leave the choice up to the INDIVIDUAL... unless we're going to stand in line and personally be accountable for these children we've forced into the world... That's all I'm sayin.
6 - Is opposed to stem-cell research. Yes... let's all die skinny and sober, in church, while trying to feed masses of unwanted babies with $10,000 china.
7 - Opposes the right for gay couples to marry. Too bad we can't figure out if an embryo is gay or not... because then he would probably allow gay abortion, just so there aren't as many homos running around, trying to get married and shit. Such a shame my gay friends actually have things to do and money to spend, otherwise I'd get a gang of them together to come kick his ass.
8 - Isn't down with separation of church and state. Wants to bring his Christian faith to work with him. Um... 'scuse me, but I know a WHOLE BUNCH of Americans who might not be cool with that. Let's see... Jewish people. Buddhist people. Hindu people. Agnostic or atheist people. Muslim people. Just to name a few...
Gag me gag me gag me GAG ME! His website is awful! Just overflowing with bile and spew and garbage! This man is an IDIOT. No, seriously, he's not bright and he's not bright enough to know he's not bright. He thinks he's fine and dandy.
Huckabee = Yucky Pee.
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