The question is: Who is the secret love-child of Jessica Simpson and Adam from Mythbusters?
But how is this possible you ask? I'm not sure but I think it might have involved a black hole and an alternate universe. Let that soak in for a moment...
Mr. Buffie has just discovered that Apple upgraded their earbuds. He's listening to them on my iPhone, which is identical (except for color) to HIS iPhone.
And he's asking me if it has EQ and I'm like, I dunno, look under settings. (He's listening to music on my Pandora app.) So he pokes at the phone, then shows me the screen, which is my social media app folder and he says, "Where?" "SETTINGS, on the Home screen. Press the Home button." He pokes at my phone a few more times. "The HOME BUTTON!" He looks at me, still confused. "THE ONLY BUTTON ON THE @#$%^&*&^%$#@ PHONE!!!" He /STILL/ didn't figure it out.
Three different wrong choices later he FINALLY, F I N A L L Y figures it out.
Then just now, he goes all Jessica Simpson on me and asks, "Are you listening to Pandora? Is this Pandora that you have on here?" Uhm, it says PANDORA right across the top of the app. Is this chicken, what I have or is it fish?
But he can build a tool to repair an engineering flaw in the pulley system then repair the electric seat adjustment module in Sir Hiss in less than an hour, then change the rear brakes and fix a leaky seal on the truck and manage to have time to work my last nerve, watch endless car shows, read endless magazines and produce an hour-long news broadcast every day.
Oh wait, there's more! He was giving ME shit a couple weeks ago for not having my email sync'd on my phone. Because his AMERICA ONLINE EMAIL (nice one, gramps) is sync'd with HIS iPhone, so my face. As if. He used to carry a flip-phone with an actual rusty nail haphazardly epoxied into the antenna hole and it also had tape on it and damn, that thing is was busted. as. hell. He didn't even have a mobile phone when we met. I had a mobile phone AND a pager. Yeah buddy.
Anyway, this man who lives in my house and makes loud, grouchy noises is equal parts absolute brilliant wizard and completely drooling moron and not much in between. It's like evolution didn't happen in some parts of his genetic history. There's still too much caveman in him or something. And part alien. Weirdo.
Hi. I'm Mrs. Weirdo.
