The Toughest Girl Alive is also a Super Hero.

I was first introduced do Candye Kane in 2002 back when Kansas City had an amazing historic blues venue called The Grand Emporium.

Had no idea who she was before that night, had no idea who I was there to see. Her band started playing and from behind the crowd this devastatingly gorgeous woman comes forward and onto the stage. Then out of her mouth comes a VOICE. A powerful, feminine incredible voice all full of soul, wisdom and sweetness.

And that's when I knew there was a new favorite in my music collection.

There's more to it than that though.

Not only is Candye blessed with a musical talent I can't help but envy - chick is hawt, ohkay. Slammin hot and like fully aware of it without apology. Same as me, she's a chunky monkey and she soooo gets it. She's been there - in this world where thin is perpetually in. Makes no difference to her. Same as me again, she loves herself for who she is and she appreciates the fact that she's beautiful. Hollywood whippets can go screw themselves. Starving to be skinny is for losers. Curves are beautiful. Curves and appreciating oneself is something to sing about! And she does and it's really neato!

Since that night at the Grand Emporium, I've had the good fortune to see her perform buches. I try to never miss her show when she's in town, or even near town.

Last night, I got lucky again, seeing her at Knuckleheads. Her current line-up (and my favorite thus far) includes adorable son Evan on drums (talented, just like his momma), Laura Chavez on guitar (another new favorite of mine), and Paul Loranger on bass (he was a perfect fit with the rest of them, awesome)!

Sadly, The Grand Emporium closed a couple years ago. (Big bummer.) For reasons I don't know. Knuckleheads has become a most suitable substitute though. The joint has a casual cool biker-y atmosphere. Crowds tend to be mature, relaxed, there for a good time. Not a shred of that icky meat-market-ness to the place at all.

So last night (and I had been looking forward to it for months) was a triple-hitter blues show with this keyboard player guy's band, a local band, and CANDYE!

Now if I may be less than complimentary for a moment, or several moments...

The show started nearly an hour late. I'm not sure, but I think the first band may have been being a bit diva-ish with the sound/stage set up. Not real certain why, but they took their sweet time getting started. Had it been a Saturday night, I don't think I would have cared, but dammit, it was Friday. I was up early that morning for work and a super late night was going to take more energy than I really had if they were going to drag ass like that.

That band was alright. Bleh. I equally have nothing horrible or fantastic to say about them. The keyboard guy and his guitarist both made pretty bizarre faces though. Kinda skeeved me out. Picture John Mayer's guitar faces except if John Mayer looked like either a Ramone or a miniature Steve Perry. Either way - gross.

Then bit by bit, a local band started to join the first band on stage. Some dear friends have been telling me for weeks what a super group this local one is. So it might have been a bit unfair, but I had high expectations. Much. Too. High.

The local guitar player first joined the first band for a song. Competent player, but zero charm. A fully pedestrian performance. Then comes the singer, who is also sister to the guitar player. Competent singer, but zero charm. (Starting to notice a pattern?)

Now I realize style has no bearing on musical ability, and Candye Kane is not only a tough act to follow, but a very difficult act to precede as she has style for miles... and miles and miles and miles. Her fabulous style is only outdone by her tremendous talent.

The glaring lack of X-factor by both the first band and the local one made the wait to see Candye ugh so tiresome.

Once the locals were on the stage just the three of them, things went from tedious to nerve-grating in a hurry. They seemed to think they were headlining. Some of their fans were also INSANELY RUDE. Almost all the front row tables were reserved for their family and friends. That's bullshit, yo. They are /local/. Their family and friends can see them anytime, any night, anywhere around Kansas City. They don't need to reserve the entire front row all the way around the stage. That space should have been for Candye fans or at the very least first-come-first-served.

The local band had special guest washboard lady join them for a number of songs. I saw washboard lady jam with Candye once a couple years ago. Cute little chick can really whip that washboard but in total honesty, I'd rather hear her play bongos or something.

Because our locals were having such a good little time with themselves and their washboard friend, they decided to do EXTRA SONGS. Isn't that nice? Since the show started late and all, and since the entire front row (who also arrived an hour late) was there to see the local kids, and since the kids seemed to think they were final act of the evening, let's just do 3 or 4 extra songs since none of the rest of the crowd had to get up early that morning or anything and obviously no one came to see Candye anyway................................. not.

I was really disappointed. I wanted to like them. I truly did. They came so highly recommended by some very good friends and now I'm going to hope for the next two or three weeks that said friends don't ask my opinion... because I don't want to say anything bad.

The most complimentary way I can describe them is - If Donny and Marie Osmond cloned Donny to make a trio, then took away that Osmond sincerity but kept the capable musicianship - add some rude fans (who didn't have enough space in their front-row reserved area and seemed to think the laps of myself and my friend made suitable seats) and you've got our local group. See what I mean? If you can't say anything nice... well... then you just can't say anything nice even when you try to say something nice.

Perhaps had I not been there to see Candye and perhaps if it hadn't been dragging on for so miserably long and perhaps if I hadn't been expecting so much more and perhaps if it had been a different venue where the family-reunion-talent-show schtick fit better... I don't know. Sometimes people just don't dig something. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. Just not a certain person's flavr. That band is not mai flavr.

The family band thing is cute, but it's maybe a little too cutesy (their version anyway) for blues. When you do blues, you need to exude a genuineness and they just didn't to me. It was like reading a book on blues how-to then saying "oh, I can do that." Blues comes from the soul, their blues seemed to come from ... a book. Sigh. (Will refrain from further discussing them or their cutesy "let's all do a shot and recite a little gimmick saying" ritual or their obnoxious front-row peeps. Popularity doesn't mean shit. The Jonas Brothers are hella popular, but that doesn't equate to a person having to like the Jonas Brothers based on the sole fact that they're popular.)

Finally, three and a half hours later, I got to see Candye. It was completely worth the wait, completely worth suffering through the first two bands, completely worth having two ding-bat women sitting in front of me, inching ever closer through the night and bumping (at some points slamming) into my friend and me countless times.

Candye is back and more badass than ever after kicking the shit out of cancer last year. Some people have talked BS and junk on her for losing weight but so the fuck what?! Hey assholes, Candye Kane is MORE than a number on a scale. I don't care how big or small she is, she will always be a sincere and generous bringer of good vibes and a bearer of all that is inspiring about the blues - songs that touch you emotionally, songs that come right out of her soul and through to my happy little ears by way of her most awesome voice and righteous band.

This new guitar player of hers, Laura Chavez... hot damn what chops! The kind of chops that could make someone become really arrogant because they're so good there's no way they can't know how fucking good they are. Not a gram of arrogance in her. She is, to me, like... if Stevie Ray Vaughan came back to life as a cute chick from California. Yeah, I said Stevie Ray Vaughan. Because she's /that/ good.

Evan, Candye's son/drummer, he started great and he gets better every time. Sometimes I wonder if talent is genetic. In his case, it must be.

Her bass player is apparently no stranger to music from what I've read, but this was the first time I've seen him. Paul Loranger. Not only did he look adorable in his bowling shirt, he did what all the greatest bass players do - fit in with the rest of the band to make most excellent music type noises. Holla!

Did I mention this is my favorite Candye line-up yet? I think I did. But it's tooootally worth saying again.

I wish I could have stayed for the entire show but I was so thoroughly worn out. It had been a very long day. My dear patient friend who had never experienced Candye was a super trooper, sticking with me through the late start of the first band and the stage-hogging of the second act and the bugs! I forgot to mention the bugs and the cotton fuzzies everywhere. Ewww!!!

One fuzzy even went up my nose. Aaak!

After enjoying Candye for shamefully too short of a time, we did have to go though. My friend is a jewel for driving me there and I didn't want her to be completely dog ass tired driving us home through the onslaught of drunk drivers.

Candye is playing again soon in Omaha and Chicago. Maybe if I'm super nice to Mr. Buffie....

YOU - GO SEE A CANDYE SHOW.

Here's the scoop = Click Me!!! Click ME!!!!!!!!!