Dark thoughts can leave scars. And my scars manifest themselves in bad habits, like always questioning myself and absorbing blame and responsibility for things that have nothing to do with me.
But like the saying goes, before I diagnose myself as being broken, let me ask for feedback from impartial parties.
I'm being "watched" by an anonymous person per my superior. Online activity specifically.
Social media is what I do professionally. So yeah, it's safe to say I'm going to be on Facebook most of the time. And even with all those hours logged, I average less than one post a day on my own wall.
I don't consider myself an "expert" in anything. But I am an adult. I am a professional. I'm ethical. And I don't mean to brag, but I'm smarter than the average bimbo. Aside from the usual identity precautions, I have nothing to hide.
I am diligent about my work. I do it to the best of my ability. I own my mistakes and I never stop looking for ways to improve quality and efficiency.
In return, I do have a few simple, reasonable expectations.
Treat me like the adult I am. Don't feed me a crock of corporate secrecy junk about watchers whose identity I'm not allowed to know. It ain't the fucking CIA.
This isn't the first time an anonymous individual has targeted me in Redneckville. I must be a glutton for punishment because I keep going back for more.
Who knew my cubicle life was so interesting to these 'watchers.'
Another thing I expect is to be corrected for MY OWN mistakes. Last time I checked, I can't control anyone else. But this 'watcher' maybe thinks I can?
So am I fucked up for being angry about the secrets and other assorted bullshittery? Or am I fucked up for refusing to silently tolerate it?
Or am I just fucked up?
I'll never be perfect. But for the sake of 'the watchers' I'm working on it.
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