Whine and Spirits

That's not a typo.

I've been in an uncharacteristically nettled, horrible mood recently (and a teensy bit currently but it's receding) and it was crippling, more than any physical ailment I've ever had.  Totally wore me down.  Maybe I'm over it?  I hope so.

Here's the whine...  I have a voicemail I'm actually afraid to hear.  I've never listened to it but that vile little red circled "1" won't leave the icon unless I do.  And it isn't even from a friend or a relative or business relation sort of person.  It's an I've-only-met-you-twice acquaintance.  I'm a scaredy cat; this is widely known among those who know, y'know.  LoL  That circled icon peeves me to no end and was a big mean old contributor to my bad mood.  And I don't feel like blaming myself so I would much prefer someone else fix it.  Mehhhh.

Sometimes I almost think I believe in ghosts.  I believe in the possibility of ghosts, I guess.  But actual spirits, who knows?  It's weird to see departed friends on the FB.  Remembering them makes you smile but you can't avoid saying goodbye again, every single time.

Occasionally I will forget, just for like 5 seconds, maybe less.  I will forget about goodbye and in that tiny moment they're alive again.  What is that all about?  It's so bizarre.  Is that a ghost or only a misfire of neurons and static electricity in the brain?  What if it is both?

Reason #271 Why College Is Not For Everyone

Some shizz is kind of part of your life and you wish it wasn't.  For me that's math.  Also history and occasionally pants.  Not like /that/ pants, pervs.  Like bad things always happen when we're wearing pants.  Think about it.  Didn't I explain this before?  You'll figure it out...

Maybe I'm a secret masochist but for whatever reason, I trip and fall in some boring ass 10 hour history lessons a bunch and this is how much you know it happens - Several lectures I am positive I've heard before.  My head!!!  Owwww!  I want to go forwards, not backwards.  Backwards is important, I'm aware.  But we already know how it ended.  Yawnzville.

Does misery really love company?  Let me lay some historical factage on you and see if it makes me feel better.

You know the famous saying...  "Why do today what you can put off, by chance, until next Tuesday?"

One of our great Founding Fathers, the ethical and classically handsome Richard Nixon said that during his final performance at Woodstockapalooza at the conclusion of the Spanish-Korean War.  Stockapaloo is a forested island off the coast of Luxembourg.  It is from this that we get the term 'stock market' where the Senatorial National Convention is held every two years.  Commander Nixon's signature appears on the 10 Bills of Rights.

Did you really just read all that and follow me at first but then get all like "What?  I'm pretty sure that's wrong... (opens Google in a new tab)."

#GuessWhatGradesIGotInHistory  Also, today in #FakeHistory.

Can I have a volunteer from the audience?

My head hurts too badly to sleep so I might as well do something to occupy my brain.

Let's have a discussion.

Be assured I know for a fact I can wildly disagree with someone on certain issues and still respect and like or love them.  Having a wide range of friends enriches my life.  Don't know about y'all but you should give it a try sometime if you haven't.  You might like it.

Anyway, since the gay-marriage ban happened in North Carolina today, do I have any anti-gay friends I can ask some questions?

Obviously I'm pro-gay-marriage, so I know we'd have opposing views, but I'm trying to understand the logic and I want to know how you interpret the purpose of government.

So if there are any volunteers, I would truly appreciate.  I promise to be respectful and open-minded.  I don't mean to make that sound as though I will change my mind on the issue.  That is beyond unlikely, and safe to say impossible.  But my desire to understand your POV is sincere.

You can remain anon, too.  I understand if you feel it's necessary.  However I will say that remaining anonymous if this is truly how you feel does puzzle me and I'd like to discuss that also.  FYI.

Thanks to any takers.  I look forward to it.

Princess Problems

Got to see my in-laws tonight.  They're good peeps.  My mother-in-law is a huge fan of vintage bags and even gave me one of her prized Enid Collins box bags as an engagement gift #@vda$%!aoi&? *cough* years ago.

She has a friend who owns a no-shit Rolex.  I got to hold it once.  It was like a gift from Santa I didn't even know I wanted.  It was heavy.  I felt good.  It would sparkle in a pitch black room.  I shall never forget it.

Want to hear something that will make you swoon?  The lady got it for freeeeeeeeee.  It was her 25th anniversary gift or something like that because she worked for Rolex.  I don't know if it was her first one or not.  But after that, I know for certain this is one luxury label that has earned it's stripes.  Straight up functional art.

I don't think I could ever own one, though.  Not unless I found a pre-owned one for a very good deal.  Someone in my position can't really justify blowing that kind of scratch on something my phone already does.  Plus watches present a challenge to left-handed people who write a lot and use a mouse for long periods of time of a daily basis.

Do you think I really should have been born a princess?  I do.  Working is fine and all but I truly believe in my heart that my calling isn't to be wealthy necessarily but to be surrounded 24/7 by my favorite things and learn life's lessons from other people's mistakes so I'd never have to make my own and also be able to hire people to do things I don't like... changing the litter box, laundry, waking up before noon.

If a princess wants to have cocktails for dinner with her besties even if it's a school night, she can.  Because princesses don't wake up before noon.  Hello.  Princesses are cute.  It's called beauty rest for a reasonnn.  Pay attention.  (That was for my benefit, not yours.)

Princesses can spend 3 hours putting on makeup and then go to the mall with their girlz and buy more makeup and go home and put makeup on each other and drink more cocktails and maybe play with their hair or glue sparkly things on their iPhone cases.

What they don't do is stuff that prevents them from wearing a Rolex.  Or any wrist jewelry.  How this has anything to do with seeing my in-laws tonight, I do not know.

It would just be nice if I could, for once, wear a bracelet all day long without issue.

This is the stellar
Lia Sophia Party Favor bracelet.
I'd like to wear mine complication-free.

The most frustrating part.

Mean people are awful but their meanness is actually the second most frustrating thing about encountering them.  The most frustrating thing is, for me, the inability to comprehend WHY they are mean.

It's kind of silly to call a major media outlet mean.  So many people contribute content that it really is impossible to asses whether they intend to be hurtful.  Perhaps some do but I don't think CNN would be one of them.

CNN did frustrate me today though, and it was due to a mean girl encounter sooo the two aren't ... what's the term?  Mutually exclusive?  Unrelated?  I don't know but I think you get it.

For the past several Fridays, CNN.com has posted stories about body image and perceptions of beauty.  Miss American's anorexia recovery was one of them.  There was also a story about FATshion.  My heart did a little woot woot when I read that one.

Today, I read this story by Shanon Cook who is incredulous that a man found her pregnant silhouette attractive.  She used so many fat slurs it was like someone played a tape loop of my past.  I wanted to crawl under my desk and induce puking into my trash can.

For obvious reasons, acceptance, tolerance and kindness are high on my wish list for society.  My story is not uncommon.  Because I am fat, I was brutally bullied from 6th grade until I graduated high school.  Even in adulthood I have been called names in public, humiliated and physically assaulted over my weight.  That's probably why my blogs don't have a lot of range.  They're either completely shallow fluff or they're about the things that hurt me.  Write what you know.  ^_^

Being treated like a piece of subhuman shit due to my appearance hurts me.  Wouldn't that hurt almost everyone?  So when I see news pieces, TeeVee shows, movies, pictures, etc. that are size positive or even size neutral, I do a mental cartwheel because it means that maybe history will stop repeating itself.

But then I read Shanon Cook's piece and I think it will never get better.

Here are some examples of what she said:

"And then there was the belly -- a massive dome of a thing, so immense that Lennox looked like a wee Scottish lass beside me. Jessica-Simpson-on-the-cover-of-Elle, no. Sexy, I was not."

"I didn't tell him that excitement doesn't really register when it takes a forklift and three bodybuilders to raise you out of bed in the morning."

"This dude thought I was hot. But how could he? I mean, I looked like an upright hippopotamus."

Wait, though, it gets really confusing and that added fuel to the frustration fire.

She says pregnancy allows women to not be neurotic about their size for a moment, so she enjoyed it by eating "truckloads" of candy and feeling good in spite of herself.

What?

Did I miss something?  Is she saying that only when you are pregnant can you love your body if it's big? And CNN published it?

Why?  Why can't we love our bodies always, regardless of how big or small?  And why does CNN give us an entire series about diverse beauty and body image then turn around and run another tired old fat = gross story?

Seems like every publication goes balls out when it comes to fat hate stories yet they'll print an anti-bullying story on the very next page.  What message is this?  Is it intentional?

Hate totally bums me out.  It hurts; it causes me to ask all these questions and the absolute most frustrating part is that I will never know the answer.

Challenge: iPhone State of the Union ... Buddiezzzz

Let's see how hard it will be to blog from my phone? Here goes. If it turns out ferkocteh,my bad. I'll fix it later.

So our President Barack Henry Obama is giving this ceremonial speech thing and it's pretty good. Some fact checking wouldn't hurt but this is a speech, maybe you could call it a performance if you were way cynical. Sooo let's just take it at face value for now.

I am not sure why certain people are in the audience other than friends in high places. The Prez is giving a shout out to the same deserving but cliche groups. Vets. Middle class. Bums. Unicorn lovers. Jellyfish. The last couple I just made up but you and I are still getting off on the same floor...

My cat doesn't care about any of it. She just wants me to let her under the blanket. Hold on.

The orange guy behind him looks like he has gas. I have also missed the first hour or so. Whatever. It's like being late to a movie.

Now we have two guys doing VO a shot of suits giving hugs. Hey voice dudes, I just watched. It isn't necessary to describe it.

This one guy has a crush on Mitch Daniels. Not kidding! Are you listening to this? In case you didn't know, Mitch Daniels sold a state toll roads to a consortium overseas. A road the residents and travelers through the state already paid for. Not cool commentator guy. That governor showed blatant disregard for the people he was hired to serve. Abuse of power for profit. Full stop.

This time I have a point. A conclusion anyway. Still not really a point. Maybe next time.

First, blogging from my phone is easier than I thought as long as I keep it simple.

Also, memo to fans of Mitch Daniels: I do not understand how you can overlook his actions in that specific situation. It's a deal breaker. He is only a "very well respected" governor among dense people. You and a lot of people are dense that is the truth. It isn't an insult. You just are. But I still love you. =^_^=

Also, our lawmakers and our selves need to get serious about sharing ideas. We can fix this shit if we just take things one issue at a time and make flexible decisions that are fair and be willing to try another route if the one we initially pick is a fail. Hey, it happens.

Man I want to slap that guy with a glove and stomp away in a huff. Mitch the Bitch in on now. Gag.

As I was saying, Google your problems. Find out who fixes it (federal, state, city, etc.) Then send emails, make calls, tweet them, whatever. But reach out. Let them know your issue. Offer solutions. Be reasonable. Be educated. Be POLITE. That's why we picked them and it's why we pay them.

Off to have noms, chill, get sleep, have happy dreams. Peace and good vibes to you all. Even the dense ones who are nice people aside from that.

There's a reason they call 'em private parts.

O hai Boycotting Girl Scout people,


I saw a video on Jezebel.

Is this a case of bigoted parents having bigoted kids? Regardless of how she arrived at her fear of penises and her obsession with dressing how she wants in a group, she'll make a hell of an attorney someday if she can find an all-bigot-females-born-with-vaginas-only country where she can practice law.

And you know what, Honest Discriminating Girl Scout (that's a factual term, she's being honest as fuck about her feelings) I ate a fat ton of Girl Scout cookies the past couple weeks and Imma finish my box of Thin Mints tonight. Maybe I'll throw down s'more cash on Thanks A Lots tomorrow. And maybe I'll do it for the sole reason that GSUSA allowed a transgender (meaning no longer male but FEMALE) GIRL into the group.

Here's the deal, Uptight Robot Child, USE YOUR BRAIN. If an evil, plotting, ill-intentioned boy is trying to get into GSUSA because he thinks he will score some poon, have a little more faith in the adults around you to catch on to his game before he gets his slimy man parts anywhere near your pristine white cotton briefs.

Do your parents sleep in separate beds in your creepily perfect Reese Witherspoon in "Election" kind of home and have they raised you to be scalded-dog scared of anything that isn't All American Cream Cheese Sunday School White Linen Napkins?

Am I advocating child molestation here? Again, if ya use yer inferior lady brains, you'll see I am clearly NOT. (You said it yourself, girls need all-girl places to feel like it is 'easier' to do thinks like fart or talk about how frustrating it is when you only get an A and not an A+ on your calculus test.)  (Quickie question tho.  If it is easier to talk about badges and swimming with ONLY GIRLS BORN WITH VAGINAS then why is it hard to talk about these things in mixed company?  IF it is indeed harder to do this, then is that a boy's fault or is it yours?)

Check this out because it is an absolute truth.  You do not and can not know everyone's situation. I don't know your situation other than what you shared in your video and I'm asking you questions about it although I realize it's unlikely, in the massive soup of the interwebs, that you'll ever see them or even answer.


The fact remains.  It's impossible to suddenly know a person's intentions because you have one piece of information about their body. IMPOSSIBLE. Trust me. It is not possible.  Can we agree that this is an honest fact?

How would you feel if you had all your same emotions, all your same spirit, ethics, your entire personality, your whole life was all exactly the same but you had a boy's body?

Would YOU want to live in a world that respected you, treated you fairly and allowed you the same freedoms everyone else enjoys?

OR

Would you want to be the one single solitary You-With-A-Penis in a world filled with other Yous-With-A-Vagina who treated you like a rapist just because you had a personal physical issue with which you were dealing?

If we're being HONEST here (you clearly conveyed how important honesty is to you) then I feel safe in saying you would indeed pick the fair treatment and respect. So if you'd pick it for yourself, why would you deny it for someone else? That doesn't sound like a very GSUSA thing to do, does it?

Makes me think you're not the stellar representative of GSUSA you set out to be. Which would mean people should actually boycott YOU and NOT delicious GSUSA cookies. And on that note, your argument is invalid.

Ohkay, bye now. I'm off to share my Girl Scout cookies with big, bad, scary different people.