I didn't even know. There were no warning signs. No indications he would ever go there.
But after witnessing him in this state for two days in a row, I'm just beside myself.
I didn't even know there was a reason to worry. I thought it was common sense. Don't put your hand in boiling water. Don't walk in front of a speeding train. Don't cover your ass in honey and sit on a fire ant hill.
There was a time, not that long ago, he even teased a guy at work who wore them. Like me, he would see them and say "damn those things are ugly". Why would I ever have reason to suspect?
It began with a suggestion from some of the people at the gym. His feet were getting torn up by the textured bottom of the pool during volleyball, and many of the seniors wear Crocs to protect their feet from the same thing. They suggested he get a pair.
Begrudgingly, he got some this week. He was so turned off to the idea that he wouldn't even try them on at the store.
We brought them home and they sat untouched until Thusday. He eventually tried them on and proclaimed that he finally understood the hype.
"These are really comfortable!" -- The words every wife hopes she will never, ever hear.
He hasn't even looked at his other shoes since then.
And if that's not enough to turn my world upside down.
He's now decided he likes cowboy hats.
WTF people. Is this what happens if a guy has a mid-life crisis but he already owns a sports car and a much younger wife? He goes fashional-ly insane?
We're not talking rock and roll cowboy hat ala 1999/2000. This is a Stetson in a nice muted shade of taupe. The kind of hat a cowboy would wear to a fancy restaurant in his clean boots and best pressed jeans. It's all perfect and I guess it's made out of beaver which is disgusting.
So help me. So help us all. So help him and the hair on his chinny-chin-chin if I catch him in the Stetson and the Crocs at the same time.
Let this be a lesson to you all.
If you don't talk to your husband about Crocs...... who will?
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