Normally I actually would NOT mention the previous bullshit which went down in country-fuck smokey town regarding my MySpace and the fact that I flash me boobies for the money.
BUT... I have to issue a retraction, maybe, because something occurred to me today.
The smokey old whore in question is still a uhh a... well... she's still a smokey old whore, ohkay. And not the fun kind either. Like, I know, when I'm like a zillion years old, I'm going to be a smokey old whore, too. Minus the smoke. Minus the whore part, too. Geezus, fine, so I'll just be old. But it will be the GOOD kind of old. Like some of my friends who aren't 22 anymore. They're still a BLAST and they're fun and they're HAPPY and they don't take up hobbies which involve meddling and gossip and aimless attempts to cause shit storms in other people's lives. They're the GOOD kind of smokey old whores. The smokey old whore I referenced before is NOT the good kind. For fuck sake, I'm so off track. Enough bout smokey old hos. -must-resist-urge-to-make-nappy-headed-ho-joke-must-resist-aaaak-akaaaakaakak (Imus is a loser, just FYI. Who cares what that smokey old whore says! LOL I kill! LOL LOL LOL)
Ohkay, the topic train is back in the station... about my retraction. It's not really a retraction. I guess I just wanted to add that I know the smokey old whore isn't the ONLY person who got in on the bash-Buffie-for-fun game. A LOT of other people joined in. I felt like a goddamned piñata. Fucking fuckers.
This is all I wanted to add, because I was worried that I had left the impression that I was blaming one person for all the trash talk, when there were in fact dozens of people; and I also wanted to add that I know *who* those dozens are.
Actually... there's one more tiny little thing I'd like to say about the subject, then I'd like to consider it closed.
I pity those of you who tried to hurt me. Sincerely, I do. I mean that with earnestness. This is not a high-and-mighty thing. It's a sad from my heart thing. I feel so badly at how many of you don't have friends or hobbies or interests beyond these very immature things in which you involve yourselves. It's way depressing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not losing sleep over it. But if you all had been kind to me instead of horrible, I would have been a friend to you. I might have been able to help you realize things about yourself you might not have known. It's a gift I have. I'm sometimes able to help people realize how very interesting and unique they are. Plus, I'm fun. Not bragging or anything, I simply happen to know I'm fun. Just like I know I'm fat. It's a fact and I don't deny it. I'm fun and I am blessed with the ability to share my fun with almost everybody. The gift of contagious laughter, maybe.
But... you blew it. A lot of you had a choice to be nice or be awful. Those of you who chose awful have missed out. I forgive you, and soon I will have forgotten your nastiness, but you won't get another chance with me because I'll never trust you. That is YOUR loss and it's sad because there's clearly a part of you that NEEDS something good in your life. Have you ever even traveled 2 zip codes beyond your own home? (No, the casino boats on the north side of town don't count.)
If you're going to continue to snoop around and see what I'm doing (which is the same damn thing I was doing last time you checked, aren't you bored yet?) then I can at least try to make something positive happen for you.
Here's what to do... After you're done reading this and deciding who you're going to tell about it tomorrow, stop and ask yourself if they really care. Ask yourself why YOU care! Why DO you care? Don't you have things in your own life that are better to do? Is it because I'm fat? Can you not wrap your mind around the fact that people of all shapes, sizes and colors can feel great about themselves? What gives? Rhetorical questions, obviously.
Back on track again... sorry... Ohkay, so finish reading this... THEN... plan a trip. Somewhere you've never been. I don't care if it's 100 miles away or 2,000 miles away. Just think about a simple budget and plan to GO SOMEWHERE.
Once you've decided where you're going, get online and learn about that place. What's the local food? Is it a historic place? Do they speak with an accent there? Even go one step further and maybe start corresponding with a few locals online. Ask them about life in their community. How is it different from your life? How is it the same? What attracted you to this place?
Now, get in your car or get on a train or boat or whatever and GO THERE. Spend a couple of days. Take TONS of pictures and smile like your face is going to break. LAUGH!!! Laugh a LOT! Go to the local gift shop and look for silly post cards or those goofy collectible spoons and think of who among your friends would get a giggle out of receiving such a token. Make memories and cherish them.
Wait a couple of months.
REPEAT, except do it in a new location.
For the serious, traveling is a simple way to enrich your life and cause you to grow as a person. Good trips, bad trips, boring trips all leave an imprint on your mind and give you cause for thought. You'll learn more about who you are. You'll learn more about why things matter to you. You might even learn that some things, like, ahem, other people's personal lives, don't matter to you at all! Hey, wouldn't that be something!? =) See? Told you I'm fun... even if it's in a cheeky, snarky way.
Can't afford to travel? No problem. Clearly you have internet access. Use the satellite view on Google Maps to see the Eiffel Tower or the Great Wall. Get on Wikipedia and find out what happened to the residents of Pompeii when Mount Vesuvius erupted. Watch a YouTube video about funny cats. Have a giggle! Just DO SOMETHING different today that you've never done before. Even if you only add a word to your vocabulary. The diamonds with the brightest fire have the most intricate facets. So add some facets to yourself and make an effort to shine a little brighter.
While I don't wish you winning powerball numbers or anything like that, I do wish you peace and I do hope you manage to find joy in your life, although I get the impression that probably doesn't come easily for you. Egads, there goes my pity reflex again... gulp. We all have our challenges, don't we?
Either way, bygones. It's cool. Don't be frustrated that you couldn't bring me down. I'm the only one who can bring me down. Just take that as a sign that you should be doing something better with your time, k?
Alrighty... I feel better now. Said all I have to say. Mostly. For now anyhow. LOL
Namaste,
~Buffie
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