Sunday, September 17, 2006

Homesick. 17Sept06

You heard me, I'm homesick. 

KC is great. I've got my girlz here and a great job and Mr. Buffie likes it better here and all of that is just fine. But I feel like I'm a million miles away from everything I used to know. 

It all remains completely unfamiliar up here. Going places gives me horrible anxiety because I get lost. The roads are a twisted maze of knots and hills which completely fucks my sense of direction. How many times have I tried to go to Misse's house and had to call because I took the wrong exit or turned on the wrong street? Dozens! Forget going to Kathleen's new house by myself, I would never find it alone! I can't even get to Westport and back without help. My freedom feels so limited because I can't just get in the car and go somewhere. I have to have maps and directions and drawings and a cell phone and a search party. 

Going home doesn't even feel right anymore. Almost everyone (like me) has moved away. Our favorite bar closed a couple years ago. There are still a few of the old familiar joints, but none of the old familiar people are there. 

~pout~ I don't remember who said you can't go home again... but I would like to kick that person's ass!

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